SETTLING INTO NEW JERSEY

I am so sorry that the blog did not get done yesterday. My grandson, Willie, has been in the hospital for a week with pneumonia and I finally got well enough to sit with him yesterday. I did not get home until very late and did not get the blog written.

We continue today with Ann and her first year in New Jersey and the passing of the children's father, Charles Albert.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Seven

I learned a lot about myself in the mental hospital, which would be my last hospitalization. I came to grip with my loss of Ed and I learned a lot about how the past was affecting me now. I looked those things straight in the eye and found solid ground to walk on.

I had had to stop driving after being in two automobile accidents in a two month period. It turned out that I had cataracts on both of my eyes and my vision was impaired without my realizing it. I gave the children's other grandmother, Loretta, the car and stopped driving. A few months later I had an operation to remove the cataracts and miracle of miracles I was left with 20/20 vision in both eyes, although I had to wear reading glasses to read or do close work.

Without a car for transportation, I learned the bus routes and went all over the county as I needed to. Of course David took both Becky and I shopping for whatever we needed, but I had to get to doctors by myself and if I wanted to go somewhere else special, like the casinos, I went by bus and Jitney. I found the bus rides to be marvelous, you meet new people and hear about their lives and problems and you go home feeling better about your own situation.

Shortly thereafter, David found an apartment for me that was close to where Becky and the grandchildren lived. It was a beautiful little place in a seniors-only complex. It was so beautiful and peaceful in the area that I felt like I had moved to heaven. It was the first time in my life that I had ever lived alone and I loved every moment of it. Now my spirit began to blossom and I felt free for the first time in my life. Because I was happier and less stressed, my mental health improved markedly, and between Becky and I all the fences were mended and we became closer that at any other time in our lives.

Anders sent me the Sedona Method, which is a self-help exercise of releasing and sets you totally free of old business in your life by helping you to grow and develop spiritually by realizing who you really are. This helped me more than any other method I had ever tried and I became strong and wrote a book of poetry for my children and grandchildren called Heartfire 2007.

Then a great miracle happened, my little Skeeta had grown into a fine, strong man and had fallen in love with a wonderful girl named Lindsay. They told us that they were expecting a little girl and our whole lives lit up. Becky and I dreamed about our little girl, Becky's first grandchild and my first great-grandchild. Kira Michelle was born on June 2nd, 2007, and Becky, Sierra, and I were there when she was born. We also got to meet Lindsay's family and they are wonderful people, we were all so excited. Kira is a beautiful little girl and Lindsay is a wonderful mother.

Becky became my best friend and she telephoned me first thing every morning. It wouldn't have been as good a day if she hadn't called. She was involved with AA and was working the twelve-step program with great results. She talked about wanting to be a sponsor herself or of writing a book for teen girls about what she had faced in life.

In December of 2007 Charles Albert passed away after going through several years of suffering with a heart condition and diabetes. He had been so proud to be a great-grandfather when Kira was born and no one expected his death, but it happened quickly one night and we all sorrowed. All of the children were very upset, and Arleen gave each of them gifts from their father: a watch and one of his Navy caps with ribbons and medals.


Tomorrow we all suffer a great tragedy as we lose another family member.

ANN'S FIRST YEAR IN JERSEY

Following Ed's passing, Ann settles in her new home in New Jersey.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Seven

As we departed Jared's home and headed to New Jersey, I fell asleep on David for the rest of the trip. Poor fellow had to drive the last thousand miles alone.

I was so glad to be with Becky and the children in their lovely big house. They had set a room apart for me and David had furnished it for me. It was really lovely and being with the grandchildren was wonderful.

At first Becky and I got along well together, but I was in a very bad way spiritually and spent most days alone, locked in my room. I could not listen to any of our music CDs for over a year. Instead I listened to Vh1 Classic on the TV and learned more about rock music, heavy metal, and punk, and this distracted me from my negative thoughts. Jimi Hendrix, AC/DC, Twisted Sister, the Doors, WHO, Queen, Led Zeppelin, and the Grateful Dead, amongst others, all made me forget the pain for a little while.

I loved New Jersey itself, all around me was water and beaches and the beautiful trees and flowers, it is called the Garden State and it really is. I had the car so I was able to get around easily and began learning the city and country around me. I went to the casinos once a month and that was a real treat, there are so many in Atlantic City, so many venues to try.

I found a little synagogue on Brigantine Island that was beautiful and had the finest people imaginable as congregants. They accepted David and me with open arms and we feel a great deal of gratitude for their friendship; belonging to this congregation helped ease the pain of losing Ed; the pain of loneliness.

I was so glad to be with Becky and the children; Becky and I developed a close relationship and of course there were all the children to love. Then I found it difficult to watch Becky stumble and fall and get hurt from over-use of prescription drugs and I found it difficult not to interfere when Becky was treating the children unfairly. We found each other fighting more and more and I began to be very ill both physically and mentally. David set out to find me my own place which was difficult because my income was very low,  $650.00 a month. Coming to New Jersey I had lost $300 in S.S.I. money that I was eligible for in California, because the cost of living was cheaper in New Jersey.

Anders reached out to me by sending me brand new music CDs, and his emotional support; we bcame very close over the years to follow.

I signed up for Jewish Family Services and received a counselor named Jane-Marie. She was a wonderful woman and very concerned for my mental health.

My mental health began to deteriorate, and one day I figured to end it all by taking an overdose of my psychiatric medications. I called Jane-Marie for help and then went to sleep. Jane-Marie came and knocked down my bedroom door and then called 911. I ws transported to this lovely mental hospital in North Hampton quite a long way from home. I was there for two weeks and met some marvelous people. One young woman, named Julie Ann, became a close friend, really like a daughter. She considered me to be her mother-Mama Ann she called me-and I still write, and we talk to each other over the phone.


Tomorrow we follow Ann as she discovers New Jersey and becomes a great-grandmother.

A SCIENTIFIC WAY OF JUDGING YOUR FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS

I have had a problem with being judgmental all of my life. The first impressions (feelings) I received I would use to judge a person as someone I liked, or didn't like.

Problem with that is I have made so many bad calls in my life. Judging that I didn't "like" a person only to find out, in a short time, that they were marvelous people and became close friends, and trusting some people who then scammed me.

Each time I made an error in judgement I castigated myself and determined that I would stop making "instant" judgements. But, instead, I would meet a new person and once again judge too quickly.

What I have learned through lack of thoughtful jugement is that most people I meet are positive and are essentially good people. We all have flaws in our character. Some of us more than others, but none of us is perfect, with our foibles and quirks.

So in my prayers each day I would pray to overcome my weakness in feeling a need to be judgmental. I felt that if I couldn't stop making snap, bad, judgements, that I would never grow into a compassionate person.

About this time I read a short sentence that enlightened my mind, "If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words." An old Chinese proverb.

I thought about this a long while and finally came to a conclusion that has changed my life and helped me not to be negatively judgmental.

We all have the need to be able to size up a person when we meet them for the first time. Sometimes it is for business reasons; we are interviewing someone for a job, or are meeting a co-worker for the first time. Sometimes it is meeting a person on a personal level and need to know if they are trustworthy and/or if they have a positive or negative personality.

When I meet a new person for the first time now, I do not make any initial judgement, but closely listen to the words the person speaks and keep track in my mind of the number of positive things they say, and the number of negative things they say.

Say the person makes ten statements. Eight of the statements used uplifting and positive words and ideas, and two of the statements could be considered negative or deleterious. Overall, the person comes across as positive and trustworthy and so we give them a heads-up judgment call.

If the person, on the other hand, makes ten statements and eight of them are negative words or ideas, and only two of them are positive, then you would want to be cautious in your dealings with that person.

So, instead of relying on your own abilities to judge another person, you use a more scientific method of keeping track of the number of positive or negative things a person says.

We have all had experience with meeting people who poison our lives with their negative spirits, actions, or words. Now we can remain detached until we have enough evidence from the other person's own mouth to decide whether they are a positive or negative person.

Now, my judgements come not from mysterious "feelings" in my heart (although there is a place for such "feelings" later on) but from a more balanced and scientific thought process that counts positive and negative words and then makes a first conclusion based on data, not feelings alone.


I hope you have a wonderful day of rest and thoughtful reflection.

Your Friend,  Davalene Hirsch


Tomorrow, my first days in New Jersey.

INTRODUCTION TO THE GOD GAMES: HEAVEN & HELL

Yesterday we completed THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor and today we will press forward and begin to write the remaining chapters of the GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell is the Divine Comedy of Dante Alighiere meets THE SHACK by William Paul Young.

It is an answer to eternal questions of humankind's purpose in the Cosmos and proposes a new science-based theory of the Singularity. (What happened before the Big Bang.)

We follow the course of one of God's energy forms-Ann-through pre-life, Heaven; a lifetime on Planet Earth, Hell; and the after-life, Heaven Again.

To begin the story from the start you can go to my March 10, 2012 blog, "A Moments Glance into the Purpose of Heaven", and continue reading the blogs from that date until I completed what I had written so far, on Monday, July 9th, 2012.

Today, we begin with THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell, Chapter Thirty Seven...

Trust me, when left to our own devices we can tear ourselves apart.

I relived every moment of Ed's and my life together to try to see if I could have made a change so that he wouldn't have died. I kept seeing his pleading eyes the night he died. Oh, if I could only have lifted him. Oh, if I could only have made him stay in the hospital that night. I beat myself up on the idiocy of being on the streets, living in the wilderness when we were in our sixties. What was I thinking of?

How could I have allowed him not to seek better care? I should have been kinder and gentler. I should have been more loving and forgiving.

In the end I relived each day for the wonder and love of it, and I remembered your eyes my Ed, your eyes so beautiful and expressive. I danced with you to "Harvest Moon" and I felt the delicate pressure of your hand in mine, my head against your chest, the warmth of our connection. For there is the reality of energy forms meeting, even if in slightly different dimensions. Souls can touch other souls.

I was in grief, angry at Ed for leaving me and in denial that he could possibly be dead, but I had to put off experiencing grief because of the pressures of having to make a big change in my life.

I drove to Debby's home and rested there. I took the truck back to the car lot that we bought her from and pretty much just dumped it there. I still owed the bill for her that I would pay for a long time, but I couldn't take two vehicles to New Jersey. I decided that the little Saturn was the most suitable for my current needs. Then I sent boxes of things that were important to me, and that wouldn't fit in the car for the trip, along to New Jersey; to Becky's house in Pleasantville. Everything else I owned, but didn't have the money to send, was packed into boxes and landed on Debby's patio.

David arrived from New Jersey and he spent a couple of days talking to Debby and the children, and going around to greet old friends. Then we were ready to start up across the entire country. Pain at the loss of Ed wiped me out physically as we started across country.

We stopped at Charlie's home in Iowa and it was so good to see Charlie again and I got to meet Lindsey and Mark for the first time. I treasured those few hours that I got to spend with them.

When we got to Michigan, we got to spend time with Jared and his new wife, Shannon, and their little boy named Drake. He was a beautiful little boy and Jared had chosen the most perfect wife who was a great cook and fed us wonderful meals.


Tomorrow we rest and pull our life together. We will post a thought for the day, and then on Monday, we will continue to write the book for your enjoyment.

Have a wonderful week-end and I will see you tomorrow morning...I hope!
















































































































































































































































































































































































                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

THE CONCLUSION OF LEGEND OF KOR

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    
Today we come to the conclusion of the science fiction novel, THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor. Thank you for your support over the last months, I hope you have enjoyed reading the serialization. For those of you interested, the serialization of THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell, begins on Saturday, March 10, 2012 with the blog, "A Moments Glance into the Purpose of Heaven." Feel free to go back and re-read the first 2/3rd of the book and then follow the rest of the book to its conclusion..

THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor...Chapter Twenty Four...

"SO, are all of the loose ends tied up? asked Albert.                                                                                              
"Yes. All is at peace, and friendships have been celebrated," said Ed.

"Did you accomplish all of your goals? Is theere peace in all of Kor?

"Yes. All prayers have been answered, and all the lost family members have been returned to their families again. There is a Democracy forming in Selve and they have excellent leadership."

"So you are ready to return to your homes again?"

"Yes. We are definitely ready."

"Then you each have done an excellent job, even though you lost your leader at the midpoint."

"Have you heard any word about Tom?" asked Glenna.

"We know that he is re-establishing his relationship with ONE, but sometimes it takes a long time to learn to govern your heart again. But remember Glenna, he will eventually-and maybe quickly-find himself again. So continue your prayers and loving support.

"Now, as to returning home again; Welcome! Come home at your own speed, you can leave today and when you get home you will be taking a vacation before being re-assigned.

"Do you want to be re-assigned?"

"At some time in the future, yes. It is yes, isn't it Ann and Glenna?"

"Oh yes," we chorused. "We thoroughly enjoyed working with the people of Kor. We'll be glad to take other assignments after a break to rest up."

"Then it is all decided. I will see the three of you when you reach home."

Albert left then, and we looked at each other and did little dances of joy. Home. We're really going home!

We battened down all of the furniture and made sure that nothing was free to fly around. Then we strapped ourselves into our harnesses and seat belts. Glenna and I sat at the control console with Ed.

The ship rose in the air like a great silver bird, and we were off into the Cosmos; on our way home again.

                                                                        __________


From somewhere in the Cosmos a humble prayer reached ONE'S ears...


                                                                           THE  END

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

PREPARING THE SPACE SHIP FOR RETURN HOME

The three friends arrive back at the space ship after seeing their friends home and saying good-bye to them, and get their ship ready for a return trip to Heaven.

THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor...Chapter Twenty Four...

The three friends arrived safely back at the ship and stood for a while watching Lumena cross the sky and hundreds of "falling stars" putting on a show.

Reluctantly, we finally went inside and felt a feeling of loss and emptiness with all of our friends gone.

To ease our sadness, we all turned to, and washed the dishes and scrubbed the floors. We did a touch-up on the utility rooms where our friends had washed up before meals, and then we called it a night and went to bed.

In the morning, we all got up and fixed a light breakfast.

"What's next, Ed?" asked Glenna.

"Well, this morning, I am going to send a message to Albert and ask him if it is time to come home yet. Hopefully, he will give us permission to return today. If not, well I guess we wait until the right time comes.

"I thought that we would each enter the parturient chamber and regain our own forms. Then we should be ready when the message arrives."

"Good ideas, dear," I said. "Do you have to check on the ship at all before we go?"

"Yes. After calling Albert, and after going through the parturient chamber-when I am back in my own form-then I will give the ship a thorough going over. What will you ladies be doing with yourselves?"

"I think that we will make sure that the ship is thoroughly clean inside and then make something for lunch and dinner," replied Glenna.

Ed went to the ship's console and sent out a message, at the speed of light, to Albert, asking him if they could now return home.

We opened the parturient chamber and entered it one by one. When we stepped out we were our bright, shiny energy-form selves, and we danced at the freedom we now enjoyed.

Ed set about checking all of the electronics and the mechanics of the ship, and could find no problems.

Glenna and I scrubbed and polished until everything shone.

At lunch time, we all gathered in the dining nook and ate our lunch slowly. We were out of things to do-as simple as that.

As we were picking up the kitchen, we heard a knock on the door. We looked at each other, and then Ed cautiously opened the door. It would not do to have a Korian see us in our energy forms, however they would probably not be shocked.

Fortunately, it turned out to be Albert.

"Welcome Albert!" We all cried out in greeting. "What a relief to see you! We have run out of things to do. Can we go home?"

"Can I sit down first?" asked Albert.

"Oh, sorry, come in and have a seat." And we ushered him into the dining nook and offered him some lunch. He declined the lunch, but accepted a slice of lemon meringue pie and a glass of grape juice.


Tomorrow is the conclusion of this book as the energynauts return to their Heavenly home.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

THE ENERGYNAUTS SPEAK THEIR MIND

Today we find the Korian leaders and the energynauts still hovering near Lumena and taking turns speaking their minds.

I am truly sorry but the flue lingers on and today's portion will also be small. Thank you for your patience.

THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor...Chapter Twenty Three...

"Oh, sorry Ed," said Wills, "I am really wound up tight about this subject. Thank you for your encouraging words."

"Wills and I, and the children," spoke Molly, "are going back home to Selve. There, I will become a homemaker and we hope to have several more children together.

"Wills has great new ideas and he is going to do a lot to change Selve, for the good. I'm so proud of him."

We all assured Wills that he had some great ideas and that we would all support him when the time came.

Lucy spoke up again, "Since this is a day of celebration, let's have another one to cap it off. I have a dear friend, a right-hand woman, and I want to surprise her today.

"Alice?"

"Yes, Lucy."

"You are no longer my secretary. As of Tuesday morning, you are vice-President of Admissions at the University of Kor. You will receive a wage that reflects your worth to me and the University. Now you can put your baby in that really nice Day Care by the University."

"Oh Lucy, are you serious? I don't know what to say, but thank you so much! I am so happy!"

We all whistled and hooted and praised Alice, and Adam pulled out the flask one more time.

It is fair to say that we were having a really good time, but the day was coming to a close and we knew we soon had to return to our own homes.

I spoke up then and told everyone that I loved them and that I had fallen in love with their countries and their cultures. I told them that this had been a great adventure and that I had seen true nobility in the lives of the Wales. I thanked each one of them for trusting and accepting us. (Ed speaking)

Ann said that Kor had the best food she had ever tasted and she was going to miss working with Lucy and Alice, and all of the wonderful Korians.

Glenna took the floor then, and said how proud she was that she knew the Korians. They had blessed her life and taught her many life lessons. She hoped that visiting was allowed because she hoped to visit as often as possible.

I stood up and stretched, and said that we would be leaving for their homes in one hour. "Now," I said, "we will have dessert.


Tomorrow all of the Korians return to their own homes.