STRIVING FOR PERFECTION

What of the man who is conscious of considerable moral imperfection, perhaps of the habit of grave sin, and is at the same time sincerely desirous of spiritual growth? Is he to relinquish the quest for spiritual knowledge until he has first reformed his conduct? By no means. As a matter of fact any attempt to improve himself morally without spiritual aid is doomed to failure. The thing to do is to pray regularly and to throw the responsibility for success upon God. The man must carry on, no matter how many times he may fail. Let him keep affirming that God is helping him, and that his own real nature is spiritual and perfect. In this way moral regeneration and spiritual unfoldment will go hand in hand. The spiritual life does not require that we possess perfection of character, or else, which of us would be able to live it? What it does require is honest, genuine striving for that perfection. ...he that is perfect in knowledge is with thee (Job 36:4).
Emmet Fox

I have committed so many indiscretions in my lifetime that I could consume each day with just the listing of my current and past negative behaviors. But this would not be productive and I could not accomplish what the Lord has placed upon my heart because I would be so tied up in my own negative thoughts and memories that no good work could come from me. I happen to know that God loves each of us so much and for all of our existence He walks and tries to talk to each of us individually. Perhaps you say that that cannot be true because God has so much on His plate that He doesn't have enough time to "coddle" us when we are not obeying His great command to love everyone we meet. But the opposite is true. God desires above all to hear from each of His children whether it is happy talk, or whether we have just hurt one of His other children, or broken with His highest commandments. His one highest law is that we love others as we love ourselves.

The greatest gift God has given us is that it is all about love, and He is thrilled when he sees that we are feeling love for all people here now, and those that have passed before. If you hate anything or anyone you are unraveling God's plan. He wants all of His children to spend their lives feeling and acting out of love; knowing that we are all one and children of the Lord, who is ONE and the great force that guides and directs the entire Cosmos; His creating tool is love and all around the Cosmos love is the greatest force of all.    

So even in my daily missteps, which I try very hard to correct, I can hear God's presence in my heart as He urges me to come from love and all will be forgiven. And the more you love the more love and forgiveness come back to you. It is not hopeless to have a long list of "sins" if we turn away from hatred and I'll-get-even-with-you, then your heart is uplifted with joy and God forgives us of all our short comings. He is generous and understanding of our human condition and knows that we can't be perfect in this negative-attitude world, but if we come from love in all of our decision making that is all that is expected of us. He says that it is only required of a person to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.

Have a blessed day, hopefully filled with love and positive ideas, and know that the Lord loves you just as you are right now.
 

PICKING UP WITH PAUL ROBESON

I am listening to a fine old recording of Paul Robeson's, "Songs of Free Men", and as always he takes me to a point where I relive once again the trauma suffered by Black folk for centuries. It is interesting that Mr. Robeson who sings songs in Russian, German, Hebrew, Spanish, and mostly English speaks for the working man of all centuries. The man bent low under atrocities and inequality, struggling just to feed a scanty meal to their families. Paul Robeson speaks to the souls of all men; deeply and personally. "Balm in Gilead," "Chassidic Chant," "John Henry," "Cradle Song," "My Curly Headed Baby," "I Still Suits Me," "It Ain't Necessarily So," and 18 other spirituals and songs of the working man.

You may remember Paul Robeson as the singer of "Old Man River," in the musical "Showboat." His voice resonates in my entire soul and I spend hours listening to the recording. One of the first black men who toured America and Europe as a operatic and soul singer. The 1930's and 1940's saw this fine man take his voice all over the world speaking to the hearts of the oppressed and changing lives. He spoke out against Nazi Germany and the atrocities of that period.

With a heart as big as the world around him Paul Robeson spoke the truth of the Black folks lot and suffering in a world that regarded anyone not purely white as somehow lower class "citizens"; citizens without the rights of citizens such as voting, equality, and a right to a life of peace. Paul Robeson's voice and his sterling character brought him to the Courts of Europe and Opera stages worldwide where the average Black man was shunned. But the beauty of his voice and the purity of his soul made people have to rethink their positions on color and how people such as the Blacks, the Native Americans, the Hispanics, and any and all immigrants were treated. In a white man's world Paul Robeson spoke out fearlessly about tragic conditions in the mining, steel mills, and average Joe's work place. Conditions were such that the Unions were needed to start giving people the proper pay and benefits that would give them a decent life and not have to fear dying on the job and leaving their families without the breadwinner.

My personal suggestion is for you to take a moment and go to Youtube and pull up Paul Robeson, "Songs of Free Men." Your heart and mind will be so grateful as his magnificent voice soothes, excites, and makes you cry-even if you don't think you would cry over music. This man was blessed by Heavenly Father to take a great message to the entire world and open people's eyes to the intrinsic worth of every single soul.

Thank you for listening and having patience with me. I am finally back to work again and hope to give you some uplifting news everyday.

SOME PASSION; SOME ANOMOLIES

The trip was absolutely wonderful, despite the bad times with William's health. Once he got out of the hospital he was once again feeling great and snarky with wisecracks. Our trip to Disneyland was one of the highlights. We went on almost every ride, even the roller coaster type rides. I think the only thing we didn't see was the Tiki Room. We started in Adventure land and took the Jungle cruise, the Haunted House, and the Pirates of the Caribbean. The Pirates had a lot of new and improved scenes and Captain Jack Sparrow popped up several times on the ride. We then went to Fantasy Land and went on every one of the rides, from Peter Pan to Mr. Toad's wild ride to the teacups - we went fast but no one got sick. Then we went on the Matterhorn and got splashed royally; what fun.

In Tomorrow Land we went on the submarines, and the auto bahn, we saw the Michael Jackson 4-D movie, and road on Space Mountain, but the greatest thing we saw was Star Tours. It was also a 4-D movie and your seats tilted and laid way back and it actually felt that you were taking a trip at warp speed to defeat the enemy. They have 56 different versions of the movie so you can go there a lot of times and get thrilled every time.

On Monday of the second week we took a drive out to the Anza-Borrego desert and the wildflowers were just coming into bloom. The ocotillos were topped with flame red and they covered parts of the desert floor. In Julian we went to Mom's Apple Pies and got an apple crumb pie covered in caramel. It was truly the bomb!

We stopped at the Banner Grade and visited with Steve Rudisill who has been the proprietor there since before we lived near there. We wanted to climb up the Chariot Canyon Truck Trail but the roads were too rough for a rental car, so we took pictures of what we could.

Thursday, the day after Disneyland, I had to stay home and rest up but everyone else went to Sea World and Willie got to see Shamu and Namu.

The plane ride back home was very normal but Willie had to carry an oxygen condenser in case he had any trouble, which he didn't.

We had barbecues at friends and families homes, and many, many picture taking sessions.

Now it is time to move on to more serious subjects. Today will be the start of the publication of  THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor.  It should take about three months to prepare the book and then in early Summer the book will be released in Book Stores and as an e-book on Amazon, Kindle, and Barnes & Noble.

The more I resist something, like stop eating sugar, the harder the problem becomes. I seem to crave sugar all of the time; so I am addicted to sugar of any kind. I am going to look at this problem straight in the face until it disappears as an addiction, then I am going to rely on ONE to give me the strength to be able to just let go of my sugar addiction. After this vacation, I was using sugar all the time. Now, the vacation is over and I have to start taking better care of myself. My blood sugars are running slightly high and my blood pressure has raised 20 points-just from eating the wrong foods for my body. Diet, here I come!

I noticed that the highways traffic has improved in San Diego as they have built three more highways since I've been there and they really take you straight to where you are going. I miss San Diego already, but if the book sells well, maybe we can go once again next year.

Until tomorrow, may you be blessed with good health and happy days, and I will be thinking of you and praying for you.

HOME AGAIN WITH TALES TO TELL

It feels so good to be back again in my little home on the seashore. So good to hear the rhythms and smell the aromas of Atlantic City. I am totally torn between New Jersey and California. I have so much love in both places and also in Oregon and Iowa that wherever I am there seems to be a lot of love and joy.

We returned to Atlantic City on Sunday evening and I have been taking a couple of days to sleep and get my strength back. But I have been itching to write to you for two weeks and tell you all of the news.

William recovered well from his surgery and the doctors here and at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia) in Philadelphia will be caring for him from now on. It is anticipated that William will have to have another operation to close the other five veins going from his heart to his lungs, but he is doing well right now and they can take some time and do some more testing first. He never needed oxygen after the last surgery and although we had an oxygen condenser on the plane with us, he did not need to use it and the air trip went off without a hitch.

We were able to take William to Disneyland and he could enjoy about 90% of the rides (not Space Mountain, or Splash Mountain) but we went on the Matterhorn and almost every other ride that they have. He particularly enjoyed Star Tours, a wonderful Star Wars 4-D movie that had you moving and diving in every direction.

I took a little cart that you can rent and managed to smash into several walls, but it was the only way that I could have stood up to walking all over Disneyland in one day.

David had to spend so much money on the trip as we had to extend it a week past our original fly-home date. I have decided not to bug him about the last monies owed to the book's cover designer, & Library of Congress Number. These need to be submitted in order to proceed with the final printing of the book. But I am going to leave it in God's capable hands and when the time is right, and Dave gets his finances back in order, then the book will be published. I have a feeling that the time will not be too long.

We went to Sunset Cliffs to watch the sunset and ran into a brilliant young man, and his partner who is the cameraman, that are going to be taking a bicycle trip across America from San Diego to Vermont in a few days. They have built a little bike-trailer that holds a 5-gallon bottle of water and other supplies with a solar panel on its lid to create their own energy. They intend to travel off-the-grid as far as fuel or power goes, and you can follow their adventures by going to greenfieldadventures.org; it should be a fascinating trip.

The places we went to, and that I will describe for you over the next week, are Balboa Park and the Museum of Man with their Torture Exhibit; the San Diego Zoo; Julian Mountains and the Banner Store and out into the Anza-Borrego Desert with a stop at Dudley's Bakery; Sea World; La Jolla Coves and all the sea lions; the graves of my family at El Camino Memorial Park; barbecues with friends and family; Belmont Park and their wooden roller coaster; Sea Port Village and long drives around the city looking at places we've lived before and the hospitals where the children were born. The first week we saw Sea Port Village and Belmont Park where Willie was acting very lethargic, that first night we had to rush him to the Emergency Room at Grossmont Hospital and then have him transferred to Rady's Children's Hospital in Linda Vista off of Genesse Avenue. As that second day of the trip progressed we saw Willie struggle with breathing and have a too rapid heart beat so we rushed him to the hospital. The doctor's think that possibly the change of pressure in the airplane started his veins bleeding heavily into his lungs.

We will talk more about the vacation tomorrow and also give you some family insights. Thank you for your patience and loyalty in sticking with me through this time of lack of communication. It makes me so happy that you are still here with me.

WILLIAM'S IMPROVEMENT

Dear Friends, thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers for my grandson, William. William was operated on yesterday. It was heart surgery and they closed 5 veins that had grown from his aorta to his lungs. They believe that this will stop the bleeding into his lungs but they were unable to close 5 other veins because they could not keep him under any longer. If the bleeding stops by tomorrow we will be able to take him home for a week and then they will retest him to see if he can fly home. If the bleeding does not stop by tomorrow then they will have to do a second surgery to close the other 5 veins tomorrow.

The good thing is that Willie is already feeling better and so we are very hopeful that the problem has been corrected and when we get back to New Jersey he will immediately be going to CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia) to be checked by the doctors there.

We are very hopeful that the next blogs will be about exploring San Diego's tourist attractions. We plan to go to Disneyland on Monday if Willie does get better, but he will have to stay off of the roller coasters just to be safe. The doctors think that the plane ride itself was the culprit that started the veins to bleed heavily; the pressure of the cabin on his lungs, so we may have to take an oxygen condenser on the plane and while we are in Jersey for a while.

San Diego is beautiful today, the sun is shining and the temperature is about 72 degrees. Everywhere there are palm trees, eucalyptus trees, and bouganvillea. I love the city, but I am a little prejudiced as I was born and raised here, and delivered all of my children here.

Because of the extra costs of staying here in San Diego an extra week I may have to postpone my book's publication until David has more money to pay for some costs that remain uncovered. This makes me sad, but the book will get done in a short time and the important thing is Willie's health. Your support and prayers have given Willie an edge to getting well and he really appreciates your concern.

Tomorrow I will let you know the final results and hopefully begin talking about more interesting and fun things. As things stand now, we will return to Atlantic City on Sunday the 14th of April. Thank you once again for your understanding and prayers.

WILLIE'S OPERATION/PROCEDURE

Dear Friends, William is perky and has good spirits, but he is going to have a heart catheritization (?) this morning in which they hope to find the leak from his heart and stop it by inserting a coil. If this does not work, they will have to do open-heart surgery. Thank you for your prayers and support during this time in our lives.

We are extending our vacation for a few more days so that Willie has a chance to get better and maybe still get to go to Disneyland before we leave for Jersey.

It is beautiful in San Diego and there are so many new highways and freeways that getting around is a lot easier than 10 years ago.

We are getting a lot of special time with family and that is very good. And we are spending most of our times with Willie which makes for a big group in his room which he likes.
As soon as I know the results of his operation I will blog you the results. Again, thank you for your support and prayers.

PLEASE HELP US WITH YOUR PRAYERS

My dear friends, we are in San Diego, California, but our trip has been stalled mid-stream. William, my 12 year old grandson, has started bleeding in his lungs and they are not sure whether it is his lungs that are bleeding or if it is coming from his heart which has a faulty aorta. I am asking anyone who would to send a prayer up for him. So no Disneyland, or Sea Wold, or the Zoo, we just hope that he will be well enough to come home on the airplane when it is time to come back home.

It is beautiful here and the weather is great, but we are hoping against hope that we will be able to go out into the sunshine and show Will at least part of San Diego before we leave for home. Will is a real trooper. He has had open-heart surgery and lung surgery in his past and they think that he may have to have another heart operation before we had been expecting it to replace the aorta patch they placed in him when he was 2 days old.

Thank you so much for all of your support. I will write more tomorrow and keep you informed as to his prognosis.