CELEBRATION OF A LIFE GAME

Ann, Ed, Glenna, and Paul celebrate the good news that Ann has won her last life game and can now proceed to discover her new life in Heaven.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Forty One

And then Glenna, Ed, and Paul were all hugging me at once and saying congratulations. I was in shock: happy shock; delirious shock! Finally, after more than a hundred tries, I had won a life game and now I could stay Home and be with ONE always. Enjoy all the beauties of home and never having to go off again unless, for some strange reason, I decided I wanted to play another life game. However, I cannot see that happening unless ONE asked me to go for some reason that was good to Him.

"Let's celebrate!" Paul said jubilantly. Let's have champagne and strawberry shortcake deluged with whipped cream, let's just go all out!"

I turned around and there on the table behind us was a beautiful sponge cake, bowls of sweet red strawberries, and a huge cauldron of rich delicious whipped cream. There was also a deep silver carafe filled with ice and a magnum of champagne. I felt like the most fortunate person of all time.

As we ate, another thought came to me. "What about the sins that I have committed?" I asked.

Paul put down his glass of champagne and told me, "Ann, in a righteous person's life game for every sin they commit there is a karmic balance. Every sin is punished while the person is playing their life game, so that when they die they have already paid for their sins and when they get back Home they can know pure joy. On the other hand, the person who lives a negative life and never repents or shows love to others, may prosper and have a great life game as they are blessed while they are on Earth for every good thing they do. When they come Home however, they have to face the sins they have committed. Most of them immediately get shipped out to a new life game to try to have another chance to repent and change their ways to loving ways; we have all been there in our previous life games.

"Ann, you have nothing to fear. Yes, you sinned, but you have repented and become a loving person. Also, karma has been particularly hard on you in this last life game and yet you have consistently acted with love, and accepted and triumphed over your own weaknesses. You have indeed won your life game.

We finished our strawberries and champagne and left the room above the boardwalk. Glenna said that she woudl see us on the morrow when we left for the meeting with the Council of Elders. Ed asked if I woudl like to see a concert or just go back to out quiet place and talk. I chose the quiet place and instantly, we arrived there.


Tomorrow, we will follow Ann, Ed, and Glenna as they travel to meet with the Council of Elders.

ANN RECEIVES GOOD NEWS FROM PAUL

At the end of our writing today you will get a glimpse of Ann as she is enabled to see the good she has done in her life.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Forty One

I knew that I loved my children and I also loved their friends who played with them. I never preached to the children, I felt that the truest way to get ideas understood was to give an example of them by living them. Becky had a friend who had a serious kidney infection who was feeling very sick. Her parents where not listening to her and would not take her to a doctor. I knew the parents well, and they were leaving their children home alone for days at a time while they pursued other interests. I took a chance and took the girl to a free clinic and had her treated, as it turned out, for a kidney infection. No one ever knew the difference.

"One day you took the children of an old acquaintance into your home, when you had nine children already," said Paul, "and you refused to accept money from the state for caring for them, but helped them and their parents out. It took up your love, time, and resources to care for those two children, yet you gave them unconditional love even though they would end up stealing you blind."

"You had an interesting theory," said Glenna, "that if you went into the world with a heart full of love that you could actually make a difference in someone's life. So you put love in your eyes whenever you went outside and looked for people to comfort or support, no matter that they might not understand what you're intentions were. Your great experiment worked, and you found many people to comfort and give aid to over the years. In fact, you found many people who needed a smile or a comforting word and you gave it to them freely. I think you were surprised how easy it was to listen  to other people and to comfort tham or give them words of encouragement."

"That wasn't a hard thing to do Glenna," I said. "It seemed to come naturally and the thing that I found was that other people then turned around and supported other people. I felt like I was one with all of the people that I met or came into contact with. Finally, as I grew older, I began to feel one with the entire world around me. I felt that if I was in pain that I could understand another person in pain, and I found myself also feeling great love for all of the animals, nature, and the universe around me. I felt one with all.

"It is easy to love because I have known the greatest loves from my children; my grandchildren; and in my later years the dear love of my Ed. My heart just naturally falls into love because it is the easiest way to go. Not the least problematic, but the easiest choice to make."

Sudden;y the lights came on and the movie disappeared from the screen. Paul stood up in front of the screen and said, "We have all gotten away from the movie as we have been talking, but that's all right because we don't need to see the entire movie to its end again. We've found the answer that we came here to find."

"We have?" I asked.

"Yes, we have, Glenna and Ed do you know what I am saying? Are you agreed with me that we no longer have to see more of the movie, as we have the answers that we came for?"

"By all means stop the movie," said Ed. "Glenna and I know we have seen enough and that we have the answer that we came here to find."

"Wait a minute," I said, "what do you see? What answer have you found? Why stop the movie?"

"Ann," said Paul, "you have said in your own words that you are love and that you are one with all people and with the whole universe. When you have seen that, then you also see that you are one with ONE; that all is one with ONE."

"Does that mean that I have won my life game?" I asked.

And then Glenna, Ed, and Paul were all hugging me at once and saying congratulations. I was in shock: happy shock; delirious shock! Finally, I had won a life game and now I could stay Home and be with ONE always. Enjoy all the beauties of home and never having to go off again unless, for some strange reason, I decided I wanted to play another life game. However, I cannot see that happening unless ONE asked me to go for some reason that was good to him.


Tomorrow Ann celebrates the win of her last life game, and prepares to go the the Council of the Elders once again.



                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

PAUL GIVES ANN GOOD NEWS

Ann has just finished watching the film of her last life game and is embarrassed by her many faults, but Paul, Ed, and Glenna persuade her to re-watch the film to spot positive actions and motives.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Forty One

I took my hands down from my eyes and gave Glenna and Ed a hug. "I'm o.k.," I said. "It's all right to continue. I will look at the movie again and I will look for the loving moments this time. Please help me out if I don't catch on right away."

With that said, Paul motioned and the scenes of my birth came into view again. It was an emotional scene, but I could clearly see that my mother loved me, and it was very plain that I loved her very much. I was fortunate in life to have two mothers who loved me. Pictures of myself as a baby came up and I could hear mother (Lucile) telling me what a good baby I was because I was so giving. I remember deciding to always be giving if that would bring people's love to me.

I remember, very early in life, deciding that if love is what people needed then I would supply the love. I did not think that I loved Charley very much, but I know now that I did love him dearly and was very worried about the suffering he was going through even when he and I were little children. I always feared Charley a little because he could be violent, but through all the years I was never totally happy when I did not know where my brother might be, or in what state his health was.

Daddy taught me all about loving other people and I tried to act like him all of my life. He never met a person he didn't love and respect. If daddy had had his way, all the people of the world would be in his family. That is where I got the idea that one day, when I was old and gray, I would sit down to a Thanksgiving dinner and look around the table and see people from all the nationalities on Earth as a part of my own family. It was a colorful and happy family filled with love for each other.

As the film moved along, I could see that I would do many things that were wrong, because they would hurt other people, but I also saw that I would repent and start again on the road to love. Such a road it would be; rocky, tumultuous, and blister-giving. Each time I would fall down, I would pick myself up and try again and each time I learned to love a bit more freely.

"Remember the incident when you were a young girl," said Paul, "and saw the 'loneliest' boy in class a few days before Valentine's Day, and thought that he would probably not receive many valentines on Valentine's Day? Remember how you took your money and bought a large Valentine for Al and signed it from yourself and the rest of the class?"

On Valentine's Day everyone put their Valentines in the Valentine box and then sat back down and waited with baited breath until they were passed back out to us. There was always the worry that you would not receive even one Valentine and what an outcast you would be then, While we watched the torturous process of the distributing of the Valentines by the teacher all any of us could think of was who would get the most Valentines. Suddenly there was a tiny shriek, and we all turned around and Al had received the Valentine I had bought for him. He sat with a shocked look on his face and then said a "thank you" to all of the class. Everyone was shocked that this unpopular kid had gotten this big beautiful store-bought card and it was all over school that day that Al had gotten the biggest Valentine of all time. Al was just busting with pride and my heart swelled with joy to see him so happy, after all I understood Al's pain; I was the most unpopular girl in the room; I had only received two Valentines.

"You started telling all of your friends about ONE when you were three years old," said Glenna, "and continued until you were married, and then you were a regular Sunday School teacher. You always told stories of ONE and the heroes of the Old and New Testaments. When you were an adult you worked as a teacher and leader of the primary organization in the L.D.S. Church. Your entire goal was to teach the children to love ONE and the Church."

"When you became Jewish you wrote poetry about ONE," said Paul, "and it was full of love and joy. Then you had your own family and you taught them until the day that you died that ONE loved all of his children and wants more than anything that all of His children love Him, but that He gave them freedom of choice to do so; or not. It is true that you went through periods of time that you did not pray, and you did not worship, instead you actually swore at ONE and would have none of His presence. Those were black days and the days were filled with very high levels of anxiety. You could not stay away from ONE for very long and would wind up apologizing to Him and joining Him in loving conversation-as all people have the right and privilege to do. We all instinctively seek after ONE and try to figure out how He would have us live our lives, and when we find a path to ONE, we fervently follow it. Even in your last days you were writing letters to all of your children and grandchildren explaining the joys of following the guidance of ONE. You encouraged everyone to read all of the Holy Scriptures of all peoples on the Earth in order to find the correct path for themselves, and all of the paths and scriptures led surely to ONE, if read with a heart full of love. We may not agree on some matters of the living of our personal lives, but it is all good if it all boils down to love."


Tomorrow, Ann gets the answer as to whether, or not, she won her last life game and can continue on in Heaven eternally.

ANN FACES HER MISTAKES

Ann continues watching the movie of her last life game and cringes at the mistakes she made.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Forty

As my life continued to go by on the screen, all I could see were mistakes that I had made; things that I had said that were hurtful to other people. I realized that I had not set such a good example in my lifetime for my children and grandchildren. I had not been there for my parents as they aged and needed help. Forunately Debby and Charlie and Skeeta Sr. helped the grandparents out a great deal and I really appreciated that. Jared, though very young, and Janice, helped my daddy out with his legs when they hurt him and I was so proud of them for showing such love to their grandfather.

Despite how I lived my life, ONE blessed me with my relationship with Ed, and brought me much happiness and a great deal of wellness. Then, after Ed had died, ONE brought me back to be with a large part of my family and finally to a wonderful home of my own in New Jersey.

After Becky had also passed away, I looked back on my  life game and saw how many sins I had committed over its 80 year spread. There were so many things I could have done better and now, here I am at home and wondering what punishments ONE will have in store for me here. It was at this point, just as I passed from my life game, that the film flickered and went out on the screen in front of us. I was so embarrassed that I did not want to open my eyes and look at anybody in the room around me. I was very sure that I had not won my life game.


CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

I covered my eyes in shame and would not look at my loved ones. Then I heard Paul say, "Ann, I know that all you have been able to see when looking over your life game is the times that you thought that you had committed a sin against ONE and your family. Now we are going to turn off the lights again and re-watch your life game. This time I want you to look for the times that you were loving and giving to other people. Also, realize that you were born into an imperfect situation with other human beings who were also not perfect, and that for everybody it is a struggle to rise above their basic instincts. If it was easy to be kind and loving it would not be such a challenge for you to find your nobler path and grow into a person centered in love."

Then Ed leaned over and patted my arm and told me that he had had to run out of his viewing room because he could not bear to see the harm he had done to people over the years. He asked me gently to take my hands down from over my eyes and reassured me of his great love and understanding.

Glenna said, "Ann, dear, we all love you here and have been in these chairs for our own reviewing of our own life games. All of us come to the end of our first viewing with heavy hearts and the sense that we have failed ONE and all of our family and friends. We fear that we have committed too many sins to win our life games.

"Remember that the way we win our life game is not to be perfect in all things, but to come to the end of our days with the knowledge that we are love and that we are one with ONE. We've won our life game if we love and accept other people unconditionally, and if we realize that ONE is love and that as we are love, we are also one with ONE and everything and everyone in the universe. Please let us show you how you have grown and developed over the years of your last life game, and how love and oneness had been your goal during that life game. And dear, just realize that all of us felt far from our goals as we watched our life games during this meeting. If you had asked any one of us if we had won our life game at this point in watching our life games, we would have said that we had definitely not won."

I took my hands down from my eyes and gave Glenna and Ed a hug. "I'm o.k." I said. "It's all right to continue. I will look at the movie again and I will look for the loving moments this time. Please help me out if I don't catch on right away."

With that said, Paul motioned and the scenes of my birth came into view again.


Tomorrow Ann re-watches the movie of her last life game, only this time she will come from a more positive perspective.

ANN CONTINUES THE MOVIE THAT SHOCKS HER

Ann, Ed, and Glenna continue reviewing Ann's life game by continuing to watch the movie of her life game. Ann is mortified by her actions.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Forty

I saw myself as a young mother and saw how hard it was to raise children all on your own and with little money. I saw that I became very angry at ONE and stopped talking to him. Then I saw that even when I had done all of that, that ONE blessed us with a home of our own and then blessed us with Carol and all she brought to our family.

I watched myself as I was not the best homemaker and as my mental illness became more prominent. I struggled with the issue of birth control and of using it to avoid future pregnancies and watched as I had my tubes tied and all of the guilt that that caused me.

The most painful time of life was when I realized that my poor Becky also had a mental illness and we had to put her in a mental hospital; the pain of having her torn away from us was sharp. Shortly after that, we had our divorce and I saw how we had hurt the children by this action.

I then saw what changing my religion did, mostly to Charlie, and my years at the synagogue as I was not home when my children needed me the most, and that I could not help. I saw the pain in my children's faces as their dad left our home and moved to Iowa.

There were so many changes in our life after that. I dated Phil and then laughed when he asked me to marry him; surely that was a sin against him. I dated Ben and saw that I had made some really bad choices with him in my life and was glad to see that I did not choose him. Then Bruce came into our lives and I was able to go to Coleman College, but in balance, I had to deal with his children. I dealt with Cliff the best that I could, but I could not get past the fact that he made my skin crawl. No child had ever caused me to have such feelings, and I must be a very bad person to feel such a way to a child. In the same time frame I was also feeling badly about sending Debby back to live with her father.

I was blessed with my job at Starnet, and was able to provide better for my little family, but the long hours that I spent working kept me from realizing that at home my children were being abused, were being treated like Cinderella without a storybook ending, by Bruce. Then my job ended with the sale of Starnet and we moved to the mountains.

Was it a sin to take the children into such a hard life? Was I depriving them of normal social lives? I know that I often felt suicidal over the next 14 years, I wonder how they each felt; I'm pretty sure Bruce's children have tales to tell of my cruelty and lack of understanding. One thing that bothered me was the number and frequency with which Bruce killed all the rattlesnakes. Once, as we were driving off the mountains, we saw on the right side of the road two rattlesnakes making love. They were at least five feet long and they were standing on the tip opf their rattlers and coiling their bodies around each other and swaying in a mating dance. It was really beautiful to watch and it gave you a different perspective on rattlesnakes. For a change, Bruce did not shoot the two snakes, but instead, just sat and watched them for about ten minutes. We were all entranced and finally drove off before the rattlesnakes were finished mating.

I felt guilty about how I treated all of the children. I felt that I should have been able to give them more and show love to them more often. I felt guilty that I let my mental illness cause so much trouble for my family. Every time that I came apart I could see the effects that it had on the children; it made them sad, it made them mad. I figure that I'm going to go to hell for that and plenty of other things also. My affair with Bob was my fault and that is really breaking the Ten Commandments. I figure that I broke most of the Ten Commandments in the short time that I had been alive on earth.


Tomorrow, Ann finishes watching the movie of her life game, and is wracked with pain and fear that she has blown her last life game.                                                                         

ANN IS HORRIFIED BY HER LAST LIFE GAME

Ann, Ed, and Glenna have finished their lunch in the Revisiting-Your-Life-Game room and prepare to watch a movie of her last life game.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Forty

With that said the food and dishes disappeared from the room and we laid back in our recliners and relaxed. The room darkened as drapes slide across to cover the picture window; then a large screen appeared in front of where the window had been and on the screen was the picture of the inside of Quintard Hospital and Shirley was giving birth to little Ann. We heard a shrill scream and cry as the doctor slapped a little baby's bottom. I was born. I could feel the pain and sadness coming from my mother, but I also felt that she loved me and that that was what was causing her the pain and sadness.

We watched as I was put into an orphanage and mother could only visit on her days off. I was a good baby, and rarely cried without reason, but I could feel a strange sense of loss and knew that something was not right. As I lay for hours in the crib and held my own bottle, I felt frustration and longed to be held in the arms of someone who loved me. It hurt mother worse when she did come and saw that the babies were not held. I made my mother cry.

I was much happier after Ralph and Lucile adopted me, and I came to love them very much, but I did hold a bit of myself away that I saved for my mother; it was the loyal thing to do I thought. I did not realize that Lucile could feel that separation and that I hurt her very much.

I was a good baby until mom and dad adopted Charley, when I became really jealous and tried to take him out of his crib and thrown him away. As the years passed I could see on the screen the terrible suffering of Charley. I did not go to his rescue but instead got mad at him for stirring my mother up and getting us both in trouble. When mother cut his penis, I heard him scream and I ran to the door to see what was going on. When I saw the scene I immediately sought out safety for myself and went and hid under the covers of my bed. On the other hand, I saw myself sneak food to him when he was denied food and water. I saw all of the punishments that Charley and I suffered and I could see that I came to hate my mother. She would make us write Bible verses over and over for hours at a time. I knew the Ten Commandments by heart so I knew that it was wrong to hate your mother. As I watched the screen, I saw that I was not always the kindest or most loving person. However, I also saw that I repented of my many sins to the Lord that I loved. I also saw that I fell in love with Jesus and tried to walk in his pathway and when I strayed, I went to the altar of my church and humbled myself before him. ONE always forgave me my sins and I would go out and try to be the best that I could be.

As I watched the screen and saw myself grow into a pre-teen I saw the molestations occur. I felt embarrassed that I had been such an easy mark and had not had the sense to tell my parents what was going on. I felt guilt that I had somehow been partially responsible for the molestations. I stole $10.00 from my mom to go to San Diego from Santa Barbara. Then I lied to the police about there being any problems in my family. My one chance to change things, and I blew it.

I saw myself in my teen years and how Charley and I stole from our parents at the Swirley Cream; then, how I embarrassed Herbert by comparing him to Harold the wrestler. I saw myself get into the wrestler's car and wondered how I could have been so dumb. Finally, I did the unforgiveable and dated a sailor.

I saw myself give into Charles' sexual demands and that was surely a sin, but what was a worse sin was trying to abort a baby, (who existed in my mind only), with a wire hangar. Surely intent is what counts, however I repented of my sin at the time and never tried it again. Then I saw the love affairs that I had while I was engaged to Charles and he was overseas, and I just cringe at those sins. I topped everything off by running away from home when I turned 18, and that really hurt mom.

Finally I saw myself as a young adult who was married, but not to a man that I was passionately in love with, and that was never fair to him. I was cold to Charles physically and became an ice maiden. I also became over-religious in an attempt to compensate for all the sins I had committed in my youth.


Tomorrow Ann continues to be struck with horror at all of her sins as she finishes watching the movie of her last life game.

REVISITING YOUR LIFE GAME ADVENTURE

Today we find Ed, Glenna, and Ann as they enter the Revisiting-Your-Life-Game Building.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven and Hell...Chapter Forty

We stepped through the door and out onto a boardwalk with people walking past us in both directions. Shops were open to the right and left of us, and straight ahead of us the sand and ocean seemed to stretch on forever. The sun was bright and cheerful and there was a wonderful breeze blowing softly over the boardwalk. Seagulls dipped and flew around us, umbrellas of many colors dotted the beach, and a volleyball game was underway a few yards away.

About a half of a mile down the boardwalk was a large amusement park, and the music from a grand old organ drifted down to us.

Glenna took my hand and with Ed following, we walked two blocks down the boardwalk in the opposite direction from the amusement park. Between two little shops we saw a set of rickety stairs that led up to a second level from the boardwalk. We climbed the stairs and saw an old door to the left of the stairs.

Ed opened the door up to a sumptuous room. Deep, plush carpet spread over the floor. The walls were papered with red satin wallpaper that had golden threads woven through it and the fabrics of the drapes and furniture were also red satin with golden threads woven through them.

There was one side of the room that had a floor to ceiling glass window that looked out over the ocean scene, and three large recliners faced the window. Behind the recliners, was a long table covered with a satin tablecloth. The table was laid out with gourmet cheeses, apple pie, crisp buttery crackers, ice cream, milk, and hot green tea.

Glenna suggested that we gather a plate of food and enjoy the magnificent view for a while until someone came from the head office. The recliners had little trays that pulled out from the left side of them, and we sat and ate and watched the beautiful waves breaking upon the shore.

As we were eating, we heard a knocking at the door, and then a young man entered the room in white garments and white satin slippers. He had very kind eyes and introduced himself as Paul. He said for us to just relax and finish eating while he talked to us for a while.

"Welcome to the Revisiting-Your-Life-Game room. I hope this room is comfortable enough for you and that the food is to your liking," said Paul.

We reassured him that everything was just beautiful and that the food was perfectly to our liking. Then we thanked him for all we had been given.

We finished our lunch as we introduced ourselves to Paul and told him that we were glad to meet him.

"Today you are going on a little adventure into the life game you just came from," said Paul, "we allow you some time to relax and get acclimated to home before we put you through this adventure. You may find that after you have gone through this and seen how your family is reacting to your passing from their life games, that you may want to go and try and comfort them in their loss. This you will be allowed to do once you have gone through this exercise and spoken with the Elders from the Council of the Elders. I'll warn you now that your loved ones will probably not be able to detect your presence in their dimension, but there are always those in your family who will feel you near to them, and some may actually hear you inside of their hearts.

"We tell you this now so that you will not get side-tracked as you watch your life unfold. There will be time for all things to come to pass. You may already have realized this in the days that have passed since you arrived back home, but there's really no such thing as time here. We use "time words" as we talk so that you understand what we're talking about, until you come to the day when you realize that all happens in an instant.

"As you watch this film of your last life game, you will first view it with a great deal of distaste and you will see all your actions as sins, or times that you have made wrong choices that caused you or others pain. Then, as you watch your life game a second time, you will begin to notice the good things that you accomplished. Only after you have seen the film twice will you be able to see if you won your game or lost it.

"Now if we are done eating, we can clear things up and begin our adventure."


Tomorrow Ann watches a home movie of her last life game and is mortified.