NOTES FROM THE DARK SIDE

Usually, my friends, I write from a positive, or at least informational view point. Today I am looking up at the underneath side of my carpet and trying to determine how to get out of this hole.

I have not been hit with such a heavy depression in months...maybe even years. I look at my Paleo lifestyle and wonder if something I am eating, or drinking-or not eating nor drinking-has set off my bi-polar balance. I realize that I have been eating too much fruit-probably trying to fill my urges for sugar-and my blood glucose has not been on a good level (240 two hours after eating the last meal and 149 in the a.m.). So, today, I am only having a minimum of fruit (two) and concentrating on protein, vegetables, and oil. We will see if that corrects the blood sugar levels. One thing that has surprised me is that vegetables have a lot of sugar in them and they sometimes taste as good as candy; take beets and carrots as an example. When I juice them the juice tastes like I put a teaspoon of sugar in the mix; which I don't of course.

The depression keeps hitting me in waves and even stifles my ability to write. The book is not doing well at this point and I feel like I am writing in a vacuum and that the book will never catch on. I feel totally crazy for having written ideas and stories that I know challenged a lot of people's cherished ideas and beliefs; maybe I should have kept my mouth shut and my fingers chained up. But, of course, even as I write this, my mind is off in another book, THE GOD GAMES: Satan's Challenge, and has devised even more challenges to current thought and beliefs.

I'm scared because I have gone through my entire catalog of things to try when you are drowning on air and nothing has lifted my spirits. So, I am writing to you, and hoping that if I can distract myself from the negative views passing before my eyes that I can find something positive to cling to. The fact that you are reading this diatribe does give me hope that I will find myself again. You seem to accept me for who I am and you have read some pretty controversial things in this blog, so you give me hope for the future. Thank you for being here, as ever. I will think about you and your emotional support of myself and I will use that to pull myself out of my hole and continue writing.

My grief! Where has my mind gone? I have so much to be grateful for; my family, my home, my writing, my dear friends who are so supportive and accepting, William's health...the list is long and grows daily. The good Lord has blessed me with all of my needs and keeps surprising me with "wants" as they become needs for the book or my health. And yet I grovel here in the dust. What a heresy when life is so rich and full. I do believe that I am having a severe bio-chemical imbalance and if things do not level off I will get back to my psychiatrist and get a medication re-evaluation. But what triggers these imbalances? The food I eat? The food I don't eat? A double-whammy of different prescription drugs that are not working well together? Aging? A combination of many health concerns-or worrying about them? Loneliness? My hermiting nature? Or??

Thank the good Lord for allowing me to write to you, and for your listening, I do now see that the carpet is gold in color and it feels soft and cushiony beneath my feet. The safest I've felt in many days.


                                                           ~~~~~~~~~~

To see a synopsis of THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor, and to hear a recorded excerpt, please go to:
www.outskirtspress.com/thegodgames
To buy the book at a discounted price, or in e-book format for only $2.99, go to
www.amazon.com
Check under BOOKS and goto THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor. You can read excerpts, even chapters, from the book there and decide if you would like to purchase it or not. THANK YOU!

 

THE PALEO LIFESTYLE

My dear friends, I have come upon a new "diet" program that is absolutely miracle-working, and it is NOT a diet at all. It is a freedom-to-eat-real-food lifestyle that is dramatically changing my health, and as a side effect I am losing weight.

I was introduced to this new trend by my daughter, Laura, who knew I was struggling with several health issues and, of course, my weight. She sent me two gifts, a juice extractor and a wonderfully-easy-to-read book by the name of It Starts with Food, by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig. This book has revolutionized my eating habits and over the week that I have been following this lifestyle I have already lost 10 pounds, my blood sugars are in absolute control, and my high blood pressure has resolved itself.

The eating plan promoted in this book is simple and straightforward and I spent only half of my food budget obtaining the foods that I now eat. The plan is not a diet but a way-of-life that is simple and straightforward and does not require you to eat weird foods, or things you do not like.

The Paleo lifestyle takes our eating habits back to what our ancient ancestors ate and thrived upon. What you eat are: meat, fish, eggs, vegetables, fruits, nuts, butter, and olive oil. What you do not eat are dairy (except for clarified butter), sugars and sugar-substitutes, grains, processed foods, and legumes. At first look, this might seem awfully restrictive, but on the plan I do not have cravings for sugars or other foods and my energy levels have skyrocketed. One day's plan is an omelet with peppers, onions, sausage, and avocados and the juice from a grapefruit, cranberries, and an apple for breakfast; hamburger patty with spinach, kale, tomatoes, onions and asparagus for lunch; and a beef steak, mushrooms, sweet potato, carrot and raisin salad, and fresh-greens salad with apple cider vinegar and olive oil dressing, followed by a slice of watermelon for "dessert". I can eat all that I can without regard for calorie-counting and you feel so full all of the time that you do not crave refined foods at all.

In just two days of eating this plan my blood sugars came in complete control and I moved from taking 36 units of insulin a night to 21 units a night-and I suspect that I will be taking less and less insulin as the days go by. I have lost 10 pounds this week. My blood pressure has lowered by 20 points, and my energy levels are hitting the roof. I feel so "up" that I do not even think about candy bars or soda, cake or pizza (there are recipes for cakes and pizza using almond flour so you don't really have to give up any of your favorite flavors.)

There is no calorie-counting on this plan and you can eat when you get hungry; as much as you are able to eat. What happens is that the foods you do eat are so satisfying and so filling that you find yourself eating only normal amounts of food, and three times a day. You can always have a handful of nuts if you feel hungry between meals; or a carrot or apple if you'd rather.

There are hundreds of cookbooks available to create fabulous desserts, and treats like ice cream or birthday cakes, etc. These items can be added to the plan after an initial period of 30 days during which you stay within the basics of the plan. This is to give your body a chance to rejuvenate and heal. I went to the store and no longer bought all of the sweetened and processed foods that were my norm, I actually spent much less than I usually do and my refrigerator and shelves are packed with delicious, health-promoting foods. Having this much food around actually gives me a psychological boost as I no longer have to worry about running out of food before the next paycheck arrives. I have on hand sugar snap peas, avocados, asparagus, sweet potatoes, winter squash, cranberries, mangoes, pomegranates, and dozens of more options. So many different options that I want to try them all at once. Things I love to eat, but had never bought before, or in very small amounts, because I felt that I needed other foods more. Now, I eat the foods that I loved as a child and feel really great about it.

I am going to pursue this new way of eating and I will let you know if there are any stumbling blocks or problems with this new lifestyle. I feel that I will be radically changing my health...for the better, but I will let you know of any problems I might have.

Have a truly excellent day and maybe spend a moment and Google "Paleo Diet" to see further what I am talking about. Thank you for listening to my story and good fortune on attempting a new, healthier, lifestyle.

MEN OF MILITARY MIGHT...

                                                POSITIVE NATURE


Men of military might
Think that all men
Want the same as them,
And that is their downfall.


For in the kernel soul of man
Is the passion for love
And union with all,
And that drive insures that the Cosmos
Is positive in nature.

Davalene R. Hirsch,  2013



Tomorrow we will be discussing the new life-style change that I have embarked upon, that is causing pain I have had for years, to disappear totally. My sugar cravings are gone and my strength is returning.


Have you read THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor yet?  Come visit my website for the book at http://www.outskirtspress.com/thegodgames
Thank you for your support. It is available in English, French, and German by going to your local Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.com (and in your neighborhood brick & mortar Book Store).

A VISIT WITH MALACHI

On Sunday our little family, including David, myself, William, and Walter's other grandmother-Malachi's other great-grandmother-Loretta, went down to Dover, Delaware to see Walter, Lourdes, Malachi, and the rest of Lourdes' family.

Malachi was everything that I expected he would be. He was so laid back and comfortable and he was always smiling this little grin. He has taken to nursing easily and his mother is a real trooper to be able to relax enough when she is in so much pain from her vertical Caesarian Section.

Malachi rarely cries; when he does it is because he is hungry and then he goes right back to sleep. His parents have been blessed to have such a good baby.

Lourdes family, several generations, live in the home with her, Walter, and Malachi. Theirs' is a very loving and warm home and everyone pulls their weight to support the family.

I met a young lad of six who is Lourdes' nephew, his name is Carlos. He is very bright and respectful and he is a lot of fun to play with. When we went out to lunch with Lourdes' family, Carlos sat next to me and we color-crayoned and played Tic-Tac-Toe. He won at least half of the games which made him very happy, and I just enjoyed his company. He honored me by calling me grammy and I can see that we are going to be good friends for all of our lives.

Lourdes' mother is a very much loved queen in her family. She is unwaveringly kind and gentle but when she speaks all of the family listens. She speaks in two languages, but she is most comfortable with Spanish. I just love her. She is able to talk without words, just speaking with her eyes-which are so expressive-and what she speaks is LOVE. I am so delighted to have her for a friend and hermana (sister). It is exciting to join a new family, especially when they are so loving and open to new members. We will have a life-long relationship with this family and I look forward to learning and understanding even more about the Puerto Rican culture and language.


Thank you for returning to my blog and being so supportive of my ideas, and feelings. We should be off and running now with new blogs on a regular basis and I do thank you for hanging in there with me. Our next blog will catch you up on the status of the book and tell you how I am now able to lose weight on a regular basis and begin to enjoy new health benefits-I am now a food renegade. I also need to catch you up on my attempt to use the 12-Step program to improve my life and gain control over my sugar addiction.

Have a wonderful day, and the rest of the week, and may you touch love all of your day long.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

ELDER FRAUD

This is a very tender subject for me, as I must be the most gullible elder in the world.

Quite frankly, I have been sucked up into so many internet come-ons just because I did not understand the language the businesses were talking. I was just stung the other day when I did a survey for Amazon.com and was told there would be gift offers available in return for my participation in the survey. I was delighted to do so because I love Amazon.com and their products have proved to be of outstanding quality, have low, or no, shipping fees, and you receive the product in good condition, and very quickly. So, I did the survey which was quite simple and was in turn offered three different products from three different companies at no cost for the gift, but you paid a minimal shipping and handling fee. I read and read the small print, looking for a hidden gimick-having been stung several times before. I could see nothing that said there would be a further cost for the product and there was no phone number given for the cancellation of anything. I thought the product must be a promotional item to interest you in their product line and I went and charged the $5.99 for shipping on my debit card. OH WRONG!  SO VERY WRONG!!

There had been a word, the word TRIAL, that I thought meant that you could return it if you didn't like it. OLD MEANING! The business meaning of the word is that this is implied by the use of it: 1) You had 30 days to accept it or reject it; 2) Before the 30 days are up you must either accept the product or call the business to cancel your order and then return the product; 3) After 30 days the business will deduct $95.00 out of your bank account without advising you of this before they do; 4) Further, the business will then deduct $95.00 every month from your bank account until you learn that you must call and cancel this whole process.

Meanwhile, your bank account has been bombed. You have only a Social Security income and there is absolutely no room for any extra expense. You carry only a "pad" of $5.00 in your account each month. Your account is overdrawn and $35.00 charges start to pile up. You have no money to cover these charges or that $95.00 charge and you are in serious trouble. Your children have no money either, so they aren't able to come to the rescue.

Fortunately my bank is very protective of its elderly customers and has a wonderful fraud division which cancelled all of the charges while they deal with the business that was selling the product and do an investigation of the whole way that the company advertizes its product. I may have to pay the price for my gullibility and end up paying this business for the product that they sent to me-they won't accept the product back-but at least I have some time to come up with the money.

So now I am older, but wiser, and I absolutely refuse to get sucked up into any more internet come-ons. My debit card will be used for food, medicine, and household needs only. Please warn any of your loved ones, who may be a little like me, to watch very carefully as they maneuver the internet. Some businesses advertizing on the internet do not always spell out what the consequences of buying their product are. They use terms like "trial" to cover up their true intentions without spelling out CLEARLY and VISUALLY the entire process that you are getting involved in.

                                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I invite you to visit my website at: www.outskirtspress.com/thegodgames
I would also invite you to read my new book, THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor, available on the website and at amazon.com; Barnes & Noble.com & bookstores; and at www.outskirtspress.com

MALACHI: MESSENGER OF JOY

My dear friends, I am so sorry for the gap in postings. Shortly after the High Holidays I became ill and went to the hospital to discover that I am in acute renal failure. Of course, I am not taking this lying down and have changed my diet once again to try to improve kidney function. A dear friend has purchased a fruit and vegetable extractor/juicer for me and I am drinking lots of fresh beet juice and the juice of several green plants such as spinach, kale, parsley, celery, and chard. I have high hopes that this will begin a rejuvenation of the cells in my one operative kidney and perhaps even help out my left kidney which has calcified due to an overabundance of Ibuprofin which was prescribed for years by one of my doctors. Beware the NSAIDs and use with caution because they can cause a great deal of damage in some people-maybe most people-if prescribed at a high dosage for a long period of time.

William is still thriving and growing like a weed. The continued use of steroids to control his health problems has caused his body to put on weight, but William was so thin before that a little weight is welcome. They are weaning him down-slowly-and are also decreasing the amount of an anti-auto-immune medication that is pretty rough on the body. I have had the joy of seeing him respond to this treatment and begin to run and skip again, and even jump up and down. I know that might seem trifling compared to other children his age who are healthy and take part in sports and P.E., but for William to do this is a real miracle seeing as he had passed from life not four months ago and had to be resuscitated and then kept on life-support for two weeks. The other point of worry was when he returned to school this Fall and was among other children who might have colds or the flue beginning. He has not become ill and is very active with his friends, so a whole lot of prayers have been answered. Thank you!

On Sunday, the 22nd of September, the family was blessed with a new little person whom his parents- Walter Self and Lourdes Acosta-named Malachi William Self. Poor Lourdes had a very difficult delivery as she is a very tiny young woman and Malachi weighed in at 8 lbs. 9 oz. She suffered so greatly that she had to finally have a C-section under total anesthesia instead of the usual epidural only. She had the epidural but it was insufficient as Malachi had gotten stuck on her pelvis bone in an almost-born position and the pain was overwhelming. Despite the pain that she is still very much in-the baby being so low in the birth canal they had to do a very long, vertical, incision-she is still going forward with nursing the baby herself. I love this young woman who is so strong and so passionate about caring for her baby even though her pain is still so great. She is going to make a wonderful mother. Walter is also distinguishing himself by waiting on Lourdes hand and foot and by taking total care of the baby while she is in so much pain. He loves being a father and adores his son whom he holds almost constantly. I'd say that this little boy is a very fortunate little guy.

Also, Lourdes was born in Puerto Rico and so we now have a little Hispanic baby in our very diverse family. Malachi is Black, Jewish, Puerto Rican, Native American, English, Scotch, and Irish; truly a child of the World. He is also a very calm and happy baby, but I am sure that part of that is because both of his parents give him 100% of their time and attention. Malachi means "Messenger of God" and I have a grandmother's intuition that this child will indeed be a messenger of love to the world. Want to thank the good Lord for the blessing of this child, and the love of his parents.

Thank you so much for hanging in there for me to write again. Sales of my first book in THE GOD GAMES TRILOGY are going profoundly slowly although it is receiving great reviews. I will shortly begin giving free readings of the book at libraries in my area and I am really looking forward to that. If you have not bought a copy of the book in either e-book or paperback form I encourage you to look it up at its website (www.outskirtspress.com/thegodgames) or on Amazon.com where the reviews are written. It is also available through Barnes & Noble.com (or in their bookstores). Thank you very much.

I am back on course and we shall be discussing many other topics in the next weeks. This week we shall be discussing those that prey upon the elderly poor; and gullible. Particularly the pitfalls of internet usage and the terms of offers made to seniors. Have an excellent day and thank you for your support and understanding.

KOL NIDRE (cont.)

History of our family Hirsch...

The Hirsch family has been frequently thrown out of country after country. Where they were allowed to live at all, they were made to live and carry out their businesses in ghettos which were usually walled completely around so as to contain the Jews to a certain area. They were allowed into the general towns and cities only to ply their trade and then had to return to the ghetto. Being considered as "Christ Killers" they were blamed for every illness that turned up, including the Black Plague, and were suspected of poisoning the wells and killing young Christian children-sometimes even of cannibalism. They were considered as a scourge and all evil deeds and unfortunate occurrences were laid at their doors; they were the scape-goats of society. After trouble in a land, there would be destruction of Jewish property and usually the Jews residing in the town were thrown out into the wilds of nature with only what they could carry. And so the Hirsch family migrated from Israel > Italy > Spain > Germany > Russia > America escaping the constant pogroms that were inevitable. The move from Spain to Germany was to escape the Inquisition where Jews were forced to be baptized into the Catholic Church or to be tortured and burned alive at the stake, or boiled in oil, if they would not convert.

The Kol Nidre is chanted each evening before the start of Erev Yom Kippur to remember the forced vows of the oppressors and disavow them or any other vows they may have unwisely made during the past year. It underlines the reason that we all need to repent of the sins and omissions we may have committed during the past year and do teshuvah (turn away from our sins, which is the correct translation of the word "repentance" [teshuvah] in the Torah).

The movement of the Hirsch family from Germany to Russia was brought about by increased persecution in Germany followed by an offer from the Empress of Russia, Catherine the Great, to re-locate Jewish farmers to Southwest Russia and farm vast open fields to help her improve Russia. (Not many Russians were living in that area-kind of like our prairies before the pioneers arrived [which is probably why when they came to America they chose the prairie states/territories to settle in].)

A generation back from great-grandfather, Henry Hirsch, there was a marriage-by his parents-of second cousins (both families were Hirsch's but from different families). The family has a tradition that they are related to Rabbi Samson Abraham Hirsch, the great leader of the Hasidic Movement in Germany. (We have a book by him that will belong to Skeeta II, who was given his name for his Hebrew name. There is a picture of Rabbi Hirsch in the back of this book, and the book currently resides in my library.)

Aunt Becky used to have a dream where she was from a Spanish family and I was actually her child. She used to love that dream and felt that we must be descended from a Spanish family. I think she is remembering a past life game and not that her father's father was Spanish (of course he was during the middle ages) in this life game. My apologies to anyone in the family who is invested in the thought that Grandpa Albert Hirsch is not their real grandfather, because he definitely is.

Let me wish everyone who reads this an excellent Yom Tov (Good Day, usually a sabbath or special religious day's greeting). This evening at sundown begins Yom Kippur which is an entire 24 hours devoted to repentance (teshuvah) and fasting, as we prepare ourselves for this New Year by recommitting ourselves to our growth towards righteousness and praising the glory of God. May you all be blessed this year of 5774 as we await the arrival of Malachi William Self, who is due to arrive on Simcha Torah (Joy of the Torah) to his parents, Walter Self and Lourdes Acosta.

Our Hirsch family is growing by leaps and bounds and thanks our Heavenly Father for being preserved as a unit filled with love and attracting others of different faiths, beliefs, and descent.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

Davida Ruth bat Avraham Aveenu