We all struggle with first meetings, and if we can remember this, it may help us make gentler first impressions (judgements) of the new people that we meet.
98% of us have some level of insecurity and when we are in the presence of a stranger it can initially be stressful. We worry about the other person judging us and finding us to be inferior or flawed in some way.
With this awareness of how we react to meeting a person for the first time, and with the awareness that the other person is most likely feeling the same way, for the same reason, we can then give the other person the benefit of the doubt and give them initial acceptance until we can take some time and analyze the other person's speech patterns; that is the number of times that a person uses negative or positive words or actions. The constant use of negative words or actions let us know that this person is probably at least a little toxic to us and our environment, while the use of positive words and actions let us know that the person we meet we can trust and feel comfortable with.
Just having the awareness that the other person feels similarly to ourselves is a great mind-opener. We may never have given much thought to how other people feel upon meeting us, but to realize that we all are worried about the impression that we make, takes away the fear of meeting new people. It puts us all on a common ground and gives us the freedom to relax and just enjoy the new person in our lives. We can always make a final decision to avoid the new person because of their negative influence, or we can rejoice in a new relationship.
I have always found for myself that what I judge in another person is usually what is the flaw I see in my own personality. It is what I first can spot, because I know it so well, and since I do not like the flaw in myself I make a hasty judgement when I spot it in another person. Two of the best friends I have finally made were two ladies who were very beautiful and wore very nice clothing when I first met them. Because I felt uglier and badly dressed compared to them, I decided that I did not like them because they made me feel uncomfortable with myself. Turned out that they were wonderful human beings and I recognized this after being around them for a while. Then I felt really stupid for making such poor judgements and I began to see that how harshly I judged myself was how harshly I judged my fellow human beings. Once I was able to accept myself as I am, and to love myself as I am, I was able to give everyone initial acceptance and love and save the judgements for another day when I have had a longer time to quantify their character.
One last suggestion, whenever you are around other people, including family members, purposely take a moment and put love and acceptance in your eyes and demeanor. When you look into a stranger's eyes with love and respect, you will almost always get a positive response back. This makes our travel through life a most positive experience and rich with friends who love and support us.
98% of us have some level of insecurity and when we are in the presence of a stranger it can initially be stressful. We worry about the other person judging us and finding us to be inferior or flawed in some way.
With this awareness of how we react to meeting a person for the first time, and with the awareness that the other person is most likely feeling the same way, for the same reason, we can then give the other person the benefit of the doubt and give them initial acceptance until we can take some time and analyze the other person's speech patterns; that is the number of times that a person uses negative or positive words or actions. The constant use of negative words or actions let us know that this person is probably at least a little toxic to us and our environment, while the use of positive words and actions let us know that the person we meet we can trust and feel comfortable with.
Just having the awareness that the other person feels similarly to ourselves is a great mind-opener. We may never have given much thought to how other people feel upon meeting us, but to realize that we all are worried about the impression that we make, takes away the fear of meeting new people. It puts us all on a common ground and gives us the freedom to relax and just enjoy the new person in our lives. We can always make a final decision to avoid the new person because of their negative influence, or we can rejoice in a new relationship.
I have always found for myself that what I judge in another person is usually what is the flaw I see in my own personality. It is what I first can spot, because I know it so well, and since I do not like the flaw in myself I make a hasty judgement when I spot it in another person. Two of the best friends I have finally made were two ladies who were very beautiful and wore very nice clothing when I first met them. Because I felt uglier and badly dressed compared to them, I decided that I did not like them because they made me feel uncomfortable with myself. Turned out that they were wonderful human beings and I recognized this after being around them for a while. Then I felt really stupid for making such poor judgements and I began to see that how harshly I judged myself was how harshly I judged my fellow human beings. Once I was able to accept myself as I am, and to love myself as I am, I was able to give everyone initial acceptance and love and save the judgements for another day when I have had a longer time to quantify their character.
One last suggestion, whenever you are around other people, including family members, purposely take a moment and put love and acceptance in your eyes and demeanor. When you look into a stranger's eyes with love and respect, you will almost always get a positive response back. This makes our travel through life a most positive experience and rich with friends who love and support us.
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