In May of 1979, my husband, Charles, and I found my birth mother, Shirley. She lived in a tiny town in the state of Idaho which was about as far north from were we lived as it was possible to be.
It was the culmination of over five years of an intense search, first through the records of the L.D.S. (Mormon) Genealogical Society, second the records in the newspaper and in the County Recorders office in San Diego, California, third through a physical search for people still living in the area of the orphanage, the home where my mother took care of me for the first six weeks of my life, and talking to the members of the church that Shirley and Ralph and Lucile went to, and fourth through the discovery of pictures of my mother and me when I was six weeks old that the residents of the house where Shirley had lived still had in their attic.
My first break came when my mother asked me to go through her records in order to round up all of the receipts she had for preparing the yearly income tax. She was at work and my children were playing in the other room when I opened my mother's lock box and found her receipts, and then found court papers identifying my brother's family in Boston, and court papers that told me the name of my mother (Shirley) and that I was illegitimate. It also had my birth mother's last names, both maiden and married. I felt as though I had just uncovered a rich treasure. I was violently shaking and only had the presence of mind to copy my brother's birth information and to "lift" my own adoption court papers. I realize that it was stealing, but I felt that I was being vindicated by Heavenly Father and I never wanted to lose those papers again. My first act when I returned to my own home, was to call a lady in the phone book that had the same name as my mother and ask her what nationality she belonged to. My soul soared into Heaven when she-after first hesitating-told me that she was Jewish. I had never felt so rich. I held in my hands the paper telling me who I was, and in my heart the knowledge that I was Jewish.
So began the search for my birth mother. I went to the newspaper office and requested micro-fische copies of the newspapers from July 14 through July 21, 1944. There I found the birth announcement stating my mother's AND father's names and the address that they lived at in July 1944. I then searched town records and found the names of the owners of the house where they lived. I went by and saw the house and then found the names of the owners in the phone book. They were still the same owners. I called and talked to them and they actually remembered my mother and me and they surprised me by saying that they had been saving two pictures of my mother and I that she had had them take before taking me to the orphanage. "Surprisingly" they had only recently re-found the pictures and were wondering what to do with them. I went to meet them and they could tell me a little about the character of my mother and what she looked like-her coloring. When they handed me the pictures I almost expired from excitement and joy; there was my beautiful mother holding me in her arms and smiling with pride and happiness. I felt complete.
Search for my birth records at the County Clerk's office showed a hard-bound ledger book with my name and my parents name and address in it. It verified what I had found in the Court papers. I then screwed up my courage and asked if I could see my birth certificate. The lady went into the back and brought out another ledger book and opened it and began to search for my birth certificate. As she flipped through the pages I prayed hard that I would be able to get a look at my original birth certificate. Suddenly she found my page, but she stared at it hard and didn't speak at first. Someone had taken a piece of thin cardboard and taped it over the birth certificate. I wanted in the worst way to rip that piece of cardboard off of the record and take a look for myself. The Clerk stared at the piece of cardboard and then asked me if I had been adopted. I admitted that I had been, and she looked at me sadly and told me that she was sorry but that the birth records had been sealed by the Court. My heart felt bleak and distraught; I knew that I would never be able to see my own birth certificate and I railed at the injustice of it all, but I put my hands behind my back so that I could not rip that cover off, and quietly thanked the Clerk for her help.
We were able to find Mrs. Carpenter who had owned the orphanage and knew both sets of my parents from going to the same church as them. She was able to tell me that my mother had loved me and had come to visit often over the year that I was in the orphanage. She told me that my mother's husband had been stationed overseas in Hawaii during the War and that she (Mrs. Carpenter) had never had the chance to meet him. When Shirley was given permission to join him in Hawaii she was told that only she would be able to go; no children were allowed. At that point my mother knew she had to give me up for adoption. She then asked the people in her church to try and find a home for her baby amongst the members of the church. At that point my adopted parents came to the front and, even though they were far away in Iowa, they said that they would come on a bus and meet the baby with the point of possibly adopting her. They did so, and ended up adopting me.
Several women in the church remembered my mother and they were able to tell me the same story and also tell me about my life in the orphanage as they had helped Mrs. Carpenter to take care of us.
Then, with the help of the L.D.S. genealogical records and other public records, Charles was able to use his skills as an investigator to locate my birth mother's own birth certificate and he then knew my grandparent's names and the town they had lived in. He called and talked to someone with the same last name as my grandparents and they did remember my grandparents and were able to give Charles the address and phone number of my (birth) great-aunt Gertrude who lived in Spokane, Washington.
In the interim we had requested the Supreme Court in Sacramento, California to open up my birth records. They refused my request, but did send me what non-identifying information that they could. I learned that my father was English and born in the State of Washington and that he graduated from High School. I also learned my mother's background and some of the health problems that ran in the family. This was very interesting and answered some of my questions, but it only made me more determined to find my mother.
Finally, one day when the children were in school, Charles called my aunt Gertrude and found her to be very helpful. He said that he was doing a genealogical search and that we were distantly related to her and to Shirley. She gave him my mother's address and phone number and we found out that Shirley was still married to my father.
Charles wanted to make the call at once. I was shaking in fear and excitement and knew that I could not make a rational phone call by myself, so I told him to go ahead and make the call.
Tomorrow we conclude our story and learn whether my birth mother was angry, sad, or delighted to hear from me. Was I accepted with joy, or did I receive another rejection?
_____________________________
It was the culmination of over five years of an intense search, first through the records of the L.D.S. (Mormon) Genealogical Society, second the records in the newspaper and in the County Recorders office in San Diego, California, third through a physical search for people still living in the area of the orphanage, the home where my mother took care of me for the first six weeks of my life, and talking to the members of the church that Shirley and Ralph and Lucile went to, and fourth through the discovery of pictures of my mother and me when I was six weeks old that the residents of the house where Shirley had lived still had in their attic.
My first break came when my mother asked me to go through her records in order to round up all of the receipts she had for preparing the yearly income tax. She was at work and my children were playing in the other room when I opened my mother's lock box and found her receipts, and then found court papers identifying my brother's family in Boston, and court papers that told me the name of my mother (Shirley) and that I was illegitimate. It also had my birth mother's last names, both maiden and married. I felt as though I had just uncovered a rich treasure. I was violently shaking and only had the presence of mind to copy my brother's birth information and to "lift" my own adoption court papers. I realize that it was stealing, but I felt that I was being vindicated by Heavenly Father and I never wanted to lose those papers again. My first act when I returned to my own home, was to call a lady in the phone book that had the same name as my mother and ask her what nationality she belonged to. My soul soared into Heaven when she-after first hesitating-told me that she was Jewish. I had never felt so rich. I held in my hands the paper telling me who I was, and in my heart the knowledge that I was Jewish.
So began the search for my birth mother. I went to the newspaper office and requested micro-fische copies of the newspapers from July 14 through July 21, 1944. There I found the birth announcement stating my mother's AND father's names and the address that they lived at in July 1944. I then searched town records and found the names of the owners of the house where they lived. I went by and saw the house and then found the names of the owners in the phone book. They were still the same owners. I called and talked to them and they actually remembered my mother and me and they surprised me by saying that they had been saving two pictures of my mother and I that she had had them take before taking me to the orphanage. "Surprisingly" they had only recently re-found the pictures and were wondering what to do with them. I went to meet them and they could tell me a little about the character of my mother and what she looked like-her coloring. When they handed me the pictures I almost expired from excitement and joy; there was my beautiful mother holding me in her arms and smiling with pride and happiness. I felt complete.
Search for my birth records at the County Clerk's office showed a hard-bound ledger book with my name and my parents name and address in it. It verified what I had found in the Court papers. I then screwed up my courage and asked if I could see my birth certificate. The lady went into the back and brought out another ledger book and opened it and began to search for my birth certificate. As she flipped through the pages I prayed hard that I would be able to get a look at my original birth certificate. Suddenly she found my page, but she stared at it hard and didn't speak at first. Someone had taken a piece of thin cardboard and taped it over the birth certificate. I wanted in the worst way to rip that piece of cardboard off of the record and take a look for myself. The Clerk stared at the piece of cardboard and then asked me if I had been adopted. I admitted that I had been, and she looked at me sadly and told me that she was sorry but that the birth records had been sealed by the Court. My heart felt bleak and distraught; I knew that I would never be able to see my own birth certificate and I railed at the injustice of it all, but I put my hands behind my back so that I could not rip that cover off, and quietly thanked the Clerk for her help.
We were able to find Mrs. Carpenter who had owned the orphanage and knew both sets of my parents from going to the same church as them. She was able to tell me that my mother had loved me and had come to visit often over the year that I was in the orphanage. She told me that my mother's husband had been stationed overseas in Hawaii during the War and that she (Mrs. Carpenter) had never had the chance to meet him. When Shirley was given permission to join him in Hawaii she was told that only she would be able to go; no children were allowed. At that point my mother knew she had to give me up for adoption. She then asked the people in her church to try and find a home for her baby amongst the members of the church. At that point my adopted parents came to the front and, even though they were far away in Iowa, they said that they would come on a bus and meet the baby with the point of possibly adopting her. They did so, and ended up adopting me.
Several women in the church remembered my mother and they were able to tell me the same story and also tell me about my life in the orphanage as they had helped Mrs. Carpenter to take care of us.
Then, with the help of the L.D.S. genealogical records and other public records, Charles was able to use his skills as an investigator to locate my birth mother's own birth certificate and he then knew my grandparent's names and the town they had lived in. He called and talked to someone with the same last name as my grandparents and they did remember my grandparents and were able to give Charles the address and phone number of my (birth) great-aunt Gertrude who lived in Spokane, Washington.
In the interim we had requested the Supreme Court in Sacramento, California to open up my birth records. They refused my request, but did send me what non-identifying information that they could. I learned that my father was English and born in the State of Washington and that he graduated from High School. I also learned my mother's background and some of the health problems that ran in the family. This was very interesting and answered some of my questions, but it only made me more determined to find my mother.
Finally, one day when the children were in school, Charles called my aunt Gertrude and found her to be very helpful. He said that he was doing a genealogical search and that we were distantly related to her and to Shirley. She gave him my mother's address and phone number and we found out that Shirley was still married to my father.
Charles wanted to make the call at once. I was shaking in fear and excitement and knew that I could not make a rational phone call by myself, so I told him to go ahead and make the call.
Tomorrow we conclude our story and learn whether my birth mother was angry, sad, or delighted to hear from me. Was I accepted with joy, or did I receive another rejection?
_____________________________
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