Yesterday I went down a rat hole and do not know where I was. Today I discovered that it was a wormhole that connected me to Heaven. I need to write about this or have a bee in my ear forever.
Yesterday my writing energy was constipated and I could not think of a thing relevant to say. Then I forced myself to sit down at the computer and wrote my blog, Notes From the Dark Side. As I wrote to you the dark cloud over my being broke apart and soon after that, as words began to flow, my heart began to sing with joy. It was a wild roller coaster ride from low to deep low and then high in the air again. Am I afraid the roller coaster will move on and start down the slippery slope again? Yes. I am scared. Since I do not know what triggered the depression, I also do not know the why for the high spirits. But what I do know is that my muse is back and that writing once again brings me joy and hope.
Most folks would shy away from the roller coaster experience preferring to take life on the level road. Myself, I love the passion and joy of the higher levels and bear the weight of depression knowing that as low as I go, I can also go to that higher level.
The rule of thumb is this: There is not joy without pain. There is not one without the other and the wider the swings between high and low-the greater the depression and the greater the joy-the higher the intensity of your life experience. If you wish to be happy-for the greatest majority of ourselves-you will also experience sadness. For how can you appreciate joy if you have not experienced the lack of joy? How can you feel the greatest depths of love unless you have first experienced the loss of love? What we see in life repeatedly is that the soul who suffers the most "slings of outrageous fortune" is usually the person who has the sweetest spirit and the most loving heart. For without pain we cannot grow and become strong; we can not see the chinks in our armor and seek change. Time passes and we remain on one level, content to survive and experience the lesser joys.
Decide to become parents and you throw yourself into the fray headfirst. It is the choice to open yourself to a person, who is part of yourself, with total abandon, knowing all the while that you could lose that child at any moment. It is the greatest risk we take in life to know total joy, and at the same moment realize the pain you will experience if you should lose that child. It is the great dichotomy, the eternal roller coaster that carries us up and down; but that we would choose over any other gift.
So here we are. Do we take the risk and go for love/pain? Or do we sit fenced off in our safe and comfortable lives and experience only gentle tides of emotion? Fortunately the choice is in our own hands and also, if you are not happy you can always choose to be subject to pain as you quest for joy. Totally depends on what you want out of life. I choose joy.
Yesterday my writing energy was constipated and I could not think of a thing relevant to say. Then I forced myself to sit down at the computer and wrote my blog, Notes From the Dark Side. As I wrote to you the dark cloud over my being broke apart and soon after that, as words began to flow, my heart began to sing with joy. It was a wild roller coaster ride from low to deep low and then high in the air again. Am I afraid the roller coaster will move on and start down the slippery slope again? Yes. I am scared. Since I do not know what triggered the depression, I also do not know the why for the high spirits. But what I do know is that my muse is back and that writing once again brings me joy and hope.
Most folks would shy away from the roller coaster experience preferring to take life on the level road. Myself, I love the passion and joy of the higher levels and bear the weight of depression knowing that as low as I go, I can also go to that higher level.
The rule of thumb is this: There is not joy without pain. There is not one without the other and the wider the swings between high and low-the greater the depression and the greater the joy-the higher the intensity of your life experience. If you wish to be happy-for the greatest majority of ourselves-you will also experience sadness. For how can you appreciate joy if you have not experienced the lack of joy? How can you feel the greatest depths of love unless you have first experienced the loss of love? What we see in life repeatedly is that the soul who suffers the most "slings of outrageous fortune" is usually the person who has the sweetest spirit and the most loving heart. For without pain we cannot grow and become strong; we can not see the chinks in our armor and seek change. Time passes and we remain on one level, content to survive and experience the lesser joys.
Decide to become parents and you throw yourself into the fray headfirst. It is the choice to open yourself to a person, who is part of yourself, with total abandon, knowing all the while that you could lose that child at any moment. It is the greatest risk we take in life to know total joy, and at the same moment realize the pain you will experience if you should lose that child. It is the great dichotomy, the eternal roller coaster that carries us up and down; but that we would choose over any other gift.
So here we are. Do we take the risk and go for love/pain? Or do we sit fenced off in our safe and comfortable lives and experience only gentle tides of emotion? Fortunately the choice is in our own hands and also, if you are not happy you can always choose to be subject to pain as you quest for joy. Totally depends on what you want out of life. I choose joy.
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