TRAILING CLOUDS OF GLORY...

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting,
     The soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
          Hath had elsewhere its setting,
          And cometh from afar;
     Not in entire forgetfulness,
     And not in utter darkness,
But trailing clouds of glory, do we come
     From God, who is our home.
                                                 --- Wordsworth


THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 37                                                                                

Then a great miracle happened, my little Skeeta had grown into a fine, strong man and had fallen in love with a wonderful girl named Lindsay. They told us that they were expecting a little girl and our whole lives lit up. Becky and I dreamed about our little girl, Becky's first grandchild and my first great-grandchild. Kira Michelle was born on June 2nd, 2007 and Becky, Sierra and I were there when she was born. We also got to meet Lindsay's family and they are wonderful people, we were all so excited. Kira is a beautiful little girl and Lindsay is a wonderful mother.

Becky became my best friend and she telephoned me first thing every morning. It wouldn't have been as good a day if she hadn't called. She was involved with AA and was working the twelve-step program with great results. She talked about wanting to be a sponsor herself or of writing a book for teen-age girls about what she had faced in life.

In December of 2007 Charles Albert passed away after going through several years of suffering with a heart condition and Diabetes. He had been so proud to be a great-grandfather when Kira was born and no one expected his death, but it happened quickly one night and we all sorrowed. All of the children were very upset, and Arleen gave each of them gifts from their father: a watch and one of his Navy caps with ribbons and medals.

Becky became a model mother, daughter, and sister. As she worked on her twelve-steps she became happier and freer as a person; I was so proud of her. Every morning at 9:00, before she headed off for the AA meetings, she would give me a call and tell me that she loved me.

Then, on the morning of May 8th, 2008, I received my morning call. I ran to the phone and said, "Good morning, Honey!" but this time she did not answer back, instead it was Walter and he told me that his mother was dead, could I please come!

I could not believe what I was hearing, my little girl dead? That was patently impossible. That just could not be, not now when life was just opening up for her.

I told Walter that I would be right over as soon as the bus ran; he was beside himself. He had called 911, and the police and an ambulance came and told Walter that his mother was dead. Walter and the other children at home were distraught. Sierra and Warren were still in school and did not know that their mother had died.

Aunt Ruth saved me by coming to the house and picking me up. We got Warren and Sierra from school and told them and they just fell apart, poor children. Then we went to the house and I had Walter bring William downstairs; he did not know yet that his mother had passed on as he had been absorbed in a video game. When I told William that his mother had passed away, he dissolved into screams.

It was a horrible day as David and Alex arrived and all the relatives began to come and give us prayer and comfort. The prayer and comfort made it possible to get through the experience, but it was impossible to get around the fact that Becky was no longer with us and that just did not seem possible. She left a big gaping hole in our lives. Charley and Shannon kept on the phone to us (Jared was overseas) to try to support us and to let us talk things out of our system. Debby was catching an airplane to come; Lois had helped our family out again by buying her a ticket to come join us. Having Debby here really helped me to get through. She spent the two weeks she came with me and we really cemented our relationship tightly together. We decided that we would never again leave time between us without a call or a letter; we vowed to call each other at least once a week.

Becky's funeral was beautiful and so many people from all of the families came out to support us. We never realized before how many people cared enough to come out and support us. Now the trick was to get through the rest of life.


Tomorrow we see how Ann copes with the loss of Becky and learns to carry on again...