Today's story is about two acts of sexual abuse that Charley and Ann must face and overcome.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 17 (HELL):
Charley had trouble with wetting his bed at night. Mother tried all kinds of punishments to try to get him to stop. I guess she thought that he was doing it just to spite her. One night she took a bathmat and laid it in front of the bathroom door, and made him lie there to sleep that night. She threatened him with a severe punishment if he didn't get up and go to the bathroom in the toilet, instead of on the mat.
I woke up to shrieks and screaming. I jumped out of bed and ran out into the hall. Charley was laying on the bathmat and my mother was sitting on his chest. She had a razor blade in her hand and was cutting the tip of his penis with it. Blood was everywhere. I was terrified and ran and hid under my covers. I thought she was going to come after me next. I guess Charley had wet the mat.
A few minutes later I heard my mother walk past my door and go into her room. Charley was still screaming. Mother got dressed in her nurse's uniform and then she walked past my door, past Charley on the mat, down the stairs and outside to the garage. I heard the car start up and go out of the driveway.
Then I ran out of my rooom to Charley. I could hear Annabelle coming crying, "Charley, Charley, what has she done to my baby? Charley I'm coming!"
Annabelle came charging up the stairs, scooped Charley up, took him into the bathroom and I watched as she washed his terrible wound and bandaged it. She gave him some children's aspirin, then she dressed him and we all went down to her room to hide.
Annabelle rocked him for hours, singing spirituals to him to sooth him, trying to take his mind off of his pain. She rocked him and cried out to ONE, "Lord, what am I going to do? Won't nobody take the word of a black woman over a white nurse. How am I going to get this baby help? Whatever am I going to do?"
We stayed in Annabelle's room all day; her singing and telling us stories about Uncle Remus. Charley eventually was able to stand the pain. Annabelle became our mother that day; she would always be the only mother we ever knew.
When mother came home, she didn't say anything about this morning but she checked Charley's bandages and told Annabelle she had done right. She said nothing to Charley except that he'd better not wet his bed that night. Charley never wet his bed again.
Annabelle was able to talk to one of my mother's best friends, Katie and Harold, and tell them what my mother did to Charley. Katie and Harold approached my parents and asked if they could adopt Charley from them. Daddy was all for it, but mother wouldn't hear of it, she thought people would "talk" if she did that. So Charley was stuck for life.
The most traumatic thing my mother did to me, happened when I was in fifth grade. I was an early developer and very shy and embarrased by my new body. One day, when mother was at work, instead of cleaning the house and doing the dishes and laundry, Charley and I thought we would take our bikes and sneak off to the tar pits-we lived near Long Beach, California. There were a lot of frogs at the tar pits, because it was a swampy area, and we so loved playing with them. Hours later we realized it was getting late and we got worried and set off for home. There, as we had dreaded, was mother's car in the driveway. We hadn't even done the dishes; my god, what were we in for. We crept into the home slowly, but there she was, waiting for us with the belt.
"How could you horrible creatures do this to me? You know what I expect of you, and you've let me down. Ann, this is your fault; you're the oldest and know better! Go to your room and take your clothes off, then come into the living room. You are going to get it good!"
I was shaking so hard I could barely take my clothes off, but finally I did. I went into the living room and mom had Charley in there to watch me get spanked; I was mortally humiliated to be naked in front of my brother.
Mom beat me and beat me with the buckle end of the belt. I screamed and asked for mercy. There was none. But you know what hurt the worst? She kept calling me a pig and a tramp; not worthy for anyone to love. She knew my weak spot was words spoken in hate and denigration; and she knew how it hurt for someone to say they didn't love me.
After the beating, she had me do the dishes, the laundry, and the cleaning; still naked. Then she sent me to my room. Neither Charley nor I would get dinner that night. She kept coming to my door and calling me a pig, and an ugly tramp. I could bear the beating and the humiliation, but it killed me to hear that I was a pig and worse. I felt like a cipher.
Tomorrow we see the effects of religion forced upon us by torture, and how we still came to love God...
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 17 (HELL):
Charley had trouble with wetting his bed at night. Mother tried all kinds of punishments to try to get him to stop. I guess she thought that he was doing it just to spite her. One night she took a bathmat and laid it in front of the bathroom door, and made him lie there to sleep that night. She threatened him with a severe punishment if he didn't get up and go to the bathroom in the toilet, instead of on the mat.
I woke up to shrieks and screaming. I jumped out of bed and ran out into the hall. Charley was laying on the bathmat and my mother was sitting on his chest. She had a razor blade in her hand and was cutting the tip of his penis with it. Blood was everywhere. I was terrified and ran and hid under my covers. I thought she was going to come after me next. I guess Charley had wet the mat.
A few minutes later I heard my mother walk past my door and go into her room. Charley was still screaming. Mother got dressed in her nurse's uniform and then she walked past my door, past Charley on the mat, down the stairs and outside to the garage. I heard the car start up and go out of the driveway.
Then I ran out of my rooom to Charley. I could hear Annabelle coming crying, "Charley, Charley, what has she done to my baby? Charley I'm coming!"
Annabelle came charging up the stairs, scooped Charley up, took him into the bathroom and I watched as she washed his terrible wound and bandaged it. She gave him some children's aspirin, then she dressed him and we all went down to her room to hide.
Annabelle rocked him for hours, singing spirituals to him to sooth him, trying to take his mind off of his pain. She rocked him and cried out to ONE, "Lord, what am I going to do? Won't nobody take the word of a black woman over a white nurse. How am I going to get this baby help? Whatever am I going to do?"
We stayed in Annabelle's room all day; her singing and telling us stories about Uncle Remus. Charley eventually was able to stand the pain. Annabelle became our mother that day; she would always be the only mother we ever knew.
When mother came home, she didn't say anything about this morning but she checked Charley's bandages and told Annabelle she had done right. She said nothing to Charley except that he'd better not wet his bed that night. Charley never wet his bed again.
Annabelle was able to talk to one of my mother's best friends, Katie and Harold, and tell them what my mother did to Charley. Katie and Harold approached my parents and asked if they could adopt Charley from them. Daddy was all for it, but mother wouldn't hear of it, she thought people would "talk" if she did that. So Charley was stuck for life.
The most traumatic thing my mother did to me, happened when I was in fifth grade. I was an early developer and very shy and embarrased by my new body. One day, when mother was at work, instead of cleaning the house and doing the dishes and laundry, Charley and I thought we would take our bikes and sneak off to the tar pits-we lived near Long Beach, California. There were a lot of frogs at the tar pits, because it was a swampy area, and we so loved playing with them. Hours later we realized it was getting late and we got worried and set off for home. There, as we had dreaded, was mother's car in the driveway. We hadn't even done the dishes; my god, what were we in for. We crept into the home slowly, but there she was, waiting for us with the belt.
"How could you horrible creatures do this to me? You know what I expect of you, and you've let me down. Ann, this is your fault; you're the oldest and know better! Go to your room and take your clothes off, then come into the living room. You are going to get it good!"
I was shaking so hard I could barely take my clothes off, but finally I did. I went into the living room and mom had Charley in there to watch me get spanked; I was mortally humiliated to be naked in front of my brother.
Mom beat me and beat me with the buckle end of the belt. I screamed and asked for mercy. There was none. But you know what hurt the worst? She kept calling me a pig and a tramp; not worthy for anyone to love. She knew my weak spot was words spoken in hate and denigration; and she knew how it hurt for someone to say they didn't love me.
After the beating, she had me do the dishes, the laundry, and the cleaning; still naked. Then she sent me to my room. Neither Charley nor I would get dinner that night. She kept coming to my door and calling me a pig, and an ugly tramp. I could bear the beating and the humiliation, but it killed me to hear that I was a pig and worse. I felt like a cipher.
Tomorrow we see the effects of religion forced upon us by torture, and how we still came to love God...
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