Thursday, April 5, 2012

CHOOSING OUR RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE BIRTH (conclusion)

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 9...

"Help me Glenna, this can't be true, I'd never marry or have anything to do with a person of his character. Would I?"

"Honey, choice is always up to you. When this person enters your life you will be at the bottom of the barrel and so poor that you will lose your house and might have to send the boys to live with their father. Ben will try to take advantage of the situation, but you will have the final choice."

Good, I thought, that man I will avoid like the plague.

After a little while had passed, a humble young man of medium build came up to the table and introduced himself as Bruce. He took my hand and led me out onto the dance floor; he was not light on his feet, but he gave it his all.

"Ann," he said, "I will come into your life shortly after Ben. You will be very vulnerable and I will understand your problems because I will have similar problems. I have four children to raise, no mother for them, and no home to take them to. We will strike a bargain to put our finances together and find a home for all nine of the children. We can do together what we cannot do alone. I will ask you to marry me many times but you will always refuse; I think because I have been married and divorced three times before, and you do not want to be a fourth wife. Besides, you will be very protective of your children and not want to get into another long term relatonship. I will love you totally and really admire you. You can trust me to take care of you and all of the cildren. We will have many problems, true, but together we will overcome most of them. Please consider me and choose me, for all of our sakes."

"You know Bruce, I recognize, after meeting Ben, that I will be faced with many problems at the time I meet you. I trust you and I choose to go through all of those problems with you, but you are right, I will never marry you. Thank you for being so honest and forthright."

And with that, Bruce took me back to my table. I sank down into my seat with shaky legs and hands. My word, what am I getting into in this new life game? Did I press a "trouble and woe" button somewhere?

Glenna took my hand and smiled at me gently. "Do you want to leave Ann? Have you seen enough yet?"

"Is there more to see? Let me look at my card."

I looked at my card and there was only one name left, a Bob, and a short sentence that said, "I am a surprise."

"No, Glenna, my card is almost over, let's stay and see this through. I'm very interested to see who the  'surprise' is."

I took a little break and went back to the buffet table to have some cheese and fruit. I needed a space to catch my breath, but all I could think of was; nine children. Nine children; could I possibly be strong enough to raise nine children?

When I got back to the table there was a young man sitting there waiting for me. He introduced himself as Bob and suggested that we sit this dance out and just talk. He told me that he loved me but that ours would be a forbidden relationship; hidden, but necessary for both of us to continue living. He said that we would never dream that such a relationship could come to pass, but circumstances would bring us closely together. He said that we would both have a need for each other and that we would treat each other with great respect and love. He asked me to trust in him and our relationship, and to choose him to be my lover.

No one had ever asked me such a thing, but I told him that I would consider him for a relationship depending on the circumstances that surrounded us. He kissed my hand and said that that was good enough for him. Then he said a polite good-bye.

Almost done I thought, and most of the experiences I had had this evening were unnerving to say the least. One more "surprise" the card said, Could I bear another surprise?

Something made me look up and I saw, striding towards my table, a tall man with long auburn hair and beard. Surely I am dreaming! Surely it can't be my Ed! But it was, with a wicked happy smile he came up to my table, said, "hello, I am your big surprise," and asked me to dance. He said that he had requested the orchestra to play a song for us; "Harvest Moon," by Neil Young.

I was finally in his arms. Surely I must be dreaming, after all this long and disquieting night, happiness and joy.

"Well Ann," he said, "I promised you that we would meet in this new life game. It is towards the end of my life game, but we have plenty of time to get to know and love/hate each other. Our relationship will be turbulent, but also very spiritual and giving. We will come to love and care for each other so deeply that we will become as one. I will ask you to marry me, and you will say 'yes.' I must tell you that our relationship will be beset with struggles and cares, but you will always support me and so we will come out on top; 'you are such a woman to me,'"

"Ed, I totally accept you just as you are; good times and bad for all infinity. I will marry you and love only you for all of my life, and in the afterlife, when we come back home, we will always be one."

Ed led me back to my table, I was walking on air, and he gave me a short kiss and said good-bye. He hated good-byes, and so he walked quickly away.

I dissolved into tears of sadness and joy. Sadness that it would be so long before I saw him again, but joy that after a hard life I would be with my Ed at last.

"Glenna, my card is finished now, and I see my future to be very tumultuous, but amazingly varied. There sure won't be any dull moments. Could we go on now, I'm ready to leave this place. I think I'd like to go to my quiet place and meditate for a while."

"Dear," said Glenna, "you have gone thought a rough and busy night. I think that would be a good idea. When you have come to closure in your quiet place, and you are ready to proceed, we will next be going to the House of Cosmetics, and that should be fascinating for you.

"When you are ready for me again just think of me and we wll be together again. Remember that I love you and have faith in you."

And with that said, I thought and was in my quiet place again.

Tomorrow I visit my quiet place and my daughter Carol comes to visit me to help me sort things out...

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