Dear Friend, from now on the story gets rough as Ann (Ruby) begins to experience her life on Earth (Hell). This will be hard for me to re-write as it is a true story, and it is the story of my own life; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 16 (HELL)
Birth is largely overrated; so much pain. I wonder what pain my mama felt. I hope she is all right.
Mama's name is Shirley Loretta; what a beautiful name. I love her so much. She is struggling; I can hear her crying. I hope its not about me; somehow I sense it is.
Mama holds me close and rocks me; she paces the floor with me. Her husband doesn't seem to be around. I think he is in the Army in a place called Hawaii. Mama writes to him every day. Sometimes she gets a letter and seems so happy; until she cries again.
Mama tells me that she loves me, then she says that she's so sorry. She has named me Ruby after another little girl who lives here. She has a lady take pictures of her and myself together.
One day we take a long walk. I am feeling good and growing well. I am six weeks old now. I ask God to bless my mama and He blesses us both.
This time mama leaves me alone with a strange woman named Eleanor.
It's cold. I see bars all around. Someone props a bottle for me. Mama's gone. I miss her; she was so warm and soft. She always held me.
Lights. Dark. Propped bottles. I am held for a bath; it feels good to be held. Where is mama?
Mama comes! Mama comes! She holds me; heaven! She cries. I cry. She is gone again.
I see the bars and light. Many other children are around me; they are also behind bars.
I love my bottle. They let me out some now. I crawl backwards, and then I finally get it and crawl forward.
Mama brings me some red celluloid balls. I love them so much!
I can sit now so potty training begins. I hate sitting on a pot.
Mama comes less now and when she comes, she cries. I wish I could make her laugh. I practice laughing.
One day I am dressed up in a frilly pink dress. They tape a pink bow on what hair I have; it is largely nonexistent as I am a towhead with just a few strands apparent. Then they set all of us around a small room in little chairs. Some of us have to have pillows to hold us up.
A big, jolly man appears with a little tiny woman. He points straight at me and says to the woman, "Spizarenctum, that's the one for us!" The woman asks if she can hold me. She picks me up and she is smiling, but she is also crying a little. I wonder if she's a mama too; it seems mamas cry a lot. I reach out and pat the tears on her cheek. She laughs and hugs me. She smells so pretty. I wish my mama was here.
My mama came to see me that night, I was so happy to see her. She hugged me real tight and told me that she loved me and was so sorry. I wondered what she was sorry for.
"Ruby," she told me, "I have to say good-bye now. Always remember that I love you and always will. You will have a nice mama and papa now; you will have a family. You will have everything I wished for you."
I am happy mama. You are here, I said to myself. Then she hugged me real tight and set me down in my crib.
I cried a lot that night, smething didn't feel right to me; my heart felt like it was dark and heavy.
I had just about fallen asleep when the door to the room opened and several people came into the room and surrounded my crib. I pulled myself up on the bars and saw the woman and the man from earlier today. There was another woman with them, and of course Eleanor.
"Do you still want her, Lucile?" Eleanor asked the woman.
"Are you really sure?" the jolly man asked Lucile.
"What do you think Olive?" the woman named Lucile asked her friend.
"Well Lucile, I don't think you could find a finer little girl. I would adopt her in a moment if I could," said Olive.
"Yes, I am really sure, Eleanor. This is the little girl we have prayed about. Are you sure Ralph?"
"From the moment I first saw her I was sure," said Ralph. "She is our daughter."
Tomorrow, Ann is adopted and later gets a new little adopted brother; and trouble.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 16 (HELL)
Birth is largely overrated; so much pain. I wonder what pain my mama felt. I hope she is all right.
Mama's name is Shirley Loretta; what a beautiful name. I love her so much. She is struggling; I can hear her crying. I hope its not about me; somehow I sense it is.
Mama holds me close and rocks me; she paces the floor with me. Her husband doesn't seem to be around. I think he is in the Army in a place called Hawaii. Mama writes to him every day. Sometimes she gets a letter and seems so happy; until she cries again.
Mama tells me that she loves me, then she says that she's so sorry. She has named me Ruby after another little girl who lives here. She has a lady take pictures of her and myself together.
One day we take a long walk. I am feeling good and growing well. I am six weeks old now. I ask God to bless my mama and He blesses us both.
This time mama leaves me alone with a strange woman named Eleanor.
It's cold. I see bars all around. Someone props a bottle for me. Mama's gone. I miss her; she was so warm and soft. She always held me.
Lights. Dark. Propped bottles. I am held for a bath; it feels good to be held. Where is mama?
Mama comes! Mama comes! She holds me; heaven! She cries. I cry. She is gone again.
I see the bars and light. Many other children are around me; they are also behind bars.
I love my bottle. They let me out some now. I crawl backwards, and then I finally get it and crawl forward.
Mama brings me some red celluloid balls. I love them so much!
I can sit now so potty training begins. I hate sitting on a pot.
Mama comes less now and when she comes, she cries. I wish I could make her laugh. I practice laughing.
One day I am dressed up in a frilly pink dress. They tape a pink bow on what hair I have; it is largely nonexistent as I am a towhead with just a few strands apparent. Then they set all of us around a small room in little chairs. Some of us have to have pillows to hold us up.
A big, jolly man appears with a little tiny woman. He points straight at me and says to the woman, "Spizarenctum, that's the one for us!" The woman asks if she can hold me. She picks me up and she is smiling, but she is also crying a little. I wonder if she's a mama too; it seems mamas cry a lot. I reach out and pat the tears on her cheek. She laughs and hugs me. She smells so pretty. I wish my mama was here.
My mama came to see me that night, I was so happy to see her. She hugged me real tight and told me that she loved me and was so sorry. I wondered what she was sorry for.
"Ruby," she told me, "I have to say good-bye now. Always remember that I love you and always will. You will have a nice mama and papa now; you will have a family. You will have everything I wished for you."
I am happy mama. You are here, I said to myself. Then she hugged me real tight and set me down in my crib.
I cried a lot that night, smething didn't feel right to me; my heart felt like it was dark and heavy.
I had just about fallen asleep when the door to the room opened and several people came into the room and surrounded my crib. I pulled myself up on the bars and saw the woman and the man from earlier today. There was another woman with them, and of course Eleanor.
"Do you still want her, Lucile?" Eleanor asked the woman.
"Are you really sure?" the jolly man asked Lucile.
"What do you think Olive?" the woman named Lucile asked her friend.
"Well Lucile, I don't think you could find a finer little girl. I would adopt her in a moment if I could," said Olive.
"Yes, I am really sure, Eleanor. This is the little girl we have prayed about. Are you sure Ralph?"
"From the moment I first saw her I was sure," said Ralph. "She is our daughter."
Tomorrow, Ann is adopted and later gets a new little adopted brother; and trouble.
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