Today, Ann gets a new adopted brother and life becomes filled with pain and trauma.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell (HELL)...Chapter 16
Then all the grownups left the room and the lights were shut off again. I wondered what the fuss was about, but fell right to sleep.
The adoption paperwork took about a week to finalize, my name was changed to Ann, and then suddenly I was on a Greyhound bus headed for Iowa. Daddy, the big jolly man, was in the Army stationed in Clarinda, Iowa. He was a mess sergeant in a prisoner of war hosptal there. Mommy was a nurse at the same hospital.
I was a year old now, and walking, and touching everything I could get my hands on, but mommy was strict about what I could touch and I tried real hard to make her happy. It was easy getting mommy to laugh, all I had to do was offer her a part of my cookie. That seemed to make her really happy and I did really try to make her so. It was summer and we went to the park a lot. I had many toys, and lots of music that mommy played all the time for me. I was a happy baby, but in a part of my heart I waited for mama to come back.
Finally it was V.E. Day (victory in Europe) and everyone was dancing in the streets, even my parents danced. It was the end of a war in Europe. Now the prisoner of war hospital could be shut down and daddy could be released from the Army. Soon we were on another greyhound bus, this time headed back to San Diego.
Daddy had to wait until V.J. Day (victory in Japan) came, to be let free from the Army, but in the meantime all he had to do was stand watches, and he could be home a lot. Daddy was so much fun he always bounced me around and took me for walks in my stroller. He also sang all the time, mostly gospel music and Woodie Guthrie songs; I sang along wth him. I learned to sing, "When the roll is called up yonder..." and a Korean Sunday School song that we both loved.
Life was wonderful for the first year of my life with Ralph and Lucile, then when I was 27 months old I saw a crib being put up in an empty room. What could this mean? Daddy and mommy told me that I was going to have a wonderful surprise soon, a new little brother. I wondered what a brother was.
A week or so later my parents walked me into the room where the crib was and there was this stranger lying in it. He was so tiny, and he wouldn't stop crying. I tried to touch him through the bars but mommy told me I was never to touch him. I decided that I would just get me a chair and watch him for a while.
I watched him, and watched him, and then decided that I didn't like him very much and I would get rid of him for us. I tried dragging him through the bars of the crib, but he stuck and screamed. Mommy came running into the room and asked me what I was doing to my brother. I told her I didn't want a brother and that I was going to throw him away. She told me that I couldn't come into the room anymore.
About the same time that my brother came, a thoroughly delightful woman came into our home. Her name was Annabelle; her skin was darker than mine, she smelled like apples and cinnamon, and she could sing wonderful sngs and tell me great stories about Brer Rabbit and his friends. She stayed with us in her own room in the back, and her jobs were to keep the house clean, cook meals, and take care of my brother, Charley, and me. She was so filled with love that it just overflowed. Mommy treated her mean, but daddy called her Zeezo-he always gave people nicknames-and stood up for her so that she didn't get into trouble.
Annabelle came because now my parents both worked long hours every day. Daddy was a Chef at the Hotel del Coronado in Coronado, and mommy worked as a private duty nurse, she was an R.N.
At night my brother and I slept in the same room. I had my hands tied to the sides of the bed to keep me from sucking my thumb, and Charley had both his hands and his feet tied to the sides of the crib so he couldn't move at all. In addition, mommy would paint our fingertips with fire stuff. It burnt your mouth up if you tried to suck one of your fingers; if you put your fingers up to your eyes, it burned your eyes.
As Charley grew up he kept getting in trouble and making mother mad, then she'd scream at both of us. I hated him for getting us into so much trouble. I hated him a lot, but as time went on, I also grew afraid for him; mother seemed to hate him, and she and daddy fought all the time about who wanted him in the first place. Talk was about that they should take him back to the orphanage. I grew afraid for both of us.
When Charley got to be two, and could walk and get into things, mother would oftern stick his fingers into the open flames of one of the stove burners when he was bad. One time his fingers got so infected that they were afraid they would never heal. Punishments changed to a lot of beatings. Charley was always getting into touble. I begged him to be good, but he was so curious about everything and one day he stuck a hairpin into a light socket and got thrown across the room. He got spanked real hard for that. I hated getting spanked, but no matter how good I tried to be, Charley would do some little thing and we would both get spanked. I guess mother tried to keep things even.
Sometimes we could go outside and I was allowed the run of the yard, but Charley had this dog collar around his waist and he was tied up to the swing set. He had to sit in the dirt to play. Sometimes he was not allowed to have toys. Another hardship Charley had to endure, was having his ears taped back to his head, and having his hair greased down with one of mother's nylon stockings over his head, to hold it down. He had been born with large ears, and a lot of cowlicks. I had a cowlick too, but she didn't grease my hair down.
When I was almost five, and Charley was almost three, the worst thing happened to us; at least it has always seemed like the worst thing.
Tomorrow poor Charley faces the ultimate torture and is saved by Annabelle...
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell (HELL)...Chapter 16
Then all the grownups left the room and the lights were shut off again. I wondered what the fuss was about, but fell right to sleep.
The adoption paperwork took about a week to finalize, my name was changed to Ann, and then suddenly I was on a Greyhound bus headed for Iowa. Daddy, the big jolly man, was in the Army stationed in Clarinda, Iowa. He was a mess sergeant in a prisoner of war hosptal there. Mommy was a nurse at the same hospital.
I was a year old now, and walking, and touching everything I could get my hands on, but mommy was strict about what I could touch and I tried real hard to make her happy. It was easy getting mommy to laugh, all I had to do was offer her a part of my cookie. That seemed to make her really happy and I did really try to make her so. It was summer and we went to the park a lot. I had many toys, and lots of music that mommy played all the time for me. I was a happy baby, but in a part of my heart I waited for mama to come back.
Finally it was V.E. Day (victory in Europe) and everyone was dancing in the streets, even my parents danced. It was the end of a war in Europe. Now the prisoner of war hospital could be shut down and daddy could be released from the Army. Soon we were on another greyhound bus, this time headed back to San Diego.
Daddy had to wait until V.J. Day (victory in Japan) came, to be let free from the Army, but in the meantime all he had to do was stand watches, and he could be home a lot. Daddy was so much fun he always bounced me around and took me for walks in my stroller. He also sang all the time, mostly gospel music and Woodie Guthrie songs; I sang along wth him. I learned to sing, "When the roll is called up yonder..." and a Korean Sunday School song that we both loved.
Life was wonderful for the first year of my life with Ralph and Lucile, then when I was 27 months old I saw a crib being put up in an empty room. What could this mean? Daddy and mommy told me that I was going to have a wonderful surprise soon, a new little brother. I wondered what a brother was.
A week or so later my parents walked me into the room where the crib was and there was this stranger lying in it. He was so tiny, and he wouldn't stop crying. I tried to touch him through the bars but mommy told me I was never to touch him. I decided that I would just get me a chair and watch him for a while.
I watched him, and watched him, and then decided that I didn't like him very much and I would get rid of him for us. I tried dragging him through the bars of the crib, but he stuck and screamed. Mommy came running into the room and asked me what I was doing to my brother. I told her I didn't want a brother and that I was going to throw him away. She told me that I couldn't come into the room anymore.
About the same time that my brother came, a thoroughly delightful woman came into our home. Her name was Annabelle; her skin was darker than mine, she smelled like apples and cinnamon, and she could sing wonderful sngs and tell me great stories about Brer Rabbit and his friends. She stayed with us in her own room in the back, and her jobs were to keep the house clean, cook meals, and take care of my brother, Charley, and me. She was so filled with love that it just overflowed. Mommy treated her mean, but daddy called her Zeezo-he always gave people nicknames-and stood up for her so that she didn't get into trouble.
Annabelle came because now my parents both worked long hours every day. Daddy was a Chef at the Hotel del Coronado in Coronado, and mommy worked as a private duty nurse, she was an R.N.
At night my brother and I slept in the same room. I had my hands tied to the sides of the bed to keep me from sucking my thumb, and Charley had both his hands and his feet tied to the sides of the crib so he couldn't move at all. In addition, mommy would paint our fingertips with fire stuff. It burnt your mouth up if you tried to suck one of your fingers; if you put your fingers up to your eyes, it burned your eyes.
As Charley grew up he kept getting in trouble and making mother mad, then she'd scream at both of us. I hated him for getting us into so much trouble. I hated him a lot, but as time went on, I also grew afraid for him; mother seemed to hate him, and she and daddy fought all the time about who wanted him in the first place. Talk was about that they should take him back to the orphanage. I grew afraid for both of us.
When Charley got to be two, and could walk and get into things, mother would oftern stick his fingers into the open flames of one of the stove burners when he was bad. One time his fingers got so infected that they were afraid they would never heal. Punishments changed to a lot of beatings. Charley was always getting into touble. I begged him to be good, but he was so curious about everything and one day he stuck a hairpin into a light socket and got thrown across the room. He got spanked real hard for that. I hated getting spanked, but no matter how good I tried to be, Charley would do some little thing and we would both get spanked. I guess mother tried to keep things even.
Sometimes we could go outside and I was allowed the run of the yard, but Charley had this dog collar around his waist and he was tied up to the swing set. He had to sit in the dirt to play. Sometimes he was not allowed to have toys. Another hardship Charley had to endure, was having his ears taped back to his head, and having his hair greased down with one of mother's nylon stockings over his head, to hold it down. He had been born with large ears, and a lot of cowlicks. I had a cowlick too, but she didn't grease my hair down.
When I was almost five, and Charley was almost three, the worst thing happened to us; at least it has always seemed like the worst thing.
Tomorrow poor Charley faces the ultimate torture and is saved by Annabelle...
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