As I have written to you over the last few months, I have been struggling with clinical depression. My psychiatrist upped my Zoloft to 200 mg and told me to call if I don't improve.
As I sit here struggling to put words on paper that make some kind of sense, I can only guess at what the problem is. I am "mourning" William. He did not die, but for 3 weeks we did not know if he would live. He had to return to the hospital a week and a half ago in great stress, but not to the extent of his first experience. But not to know, or have any idea, when his system will break down again keeps us in a state of constant tension. School is coming up in another month and we worry about William going to school and being exposed to many germs and viruses which his system cannot handle. Will they accept him in school or will he have to go into a special school program for children with grave illnesses. William is a star at school and has many friends and the teachers love him. He wants his life to go on as before, and we want to accommodate him and give him a happy, near-normal life. The doctors increased his Prednisone and added some medicine to help with auto-immune diseases. We are all hoping that this will help to make him stronger. He appears stronger and is eating like a horse which is so good because he looks like a survivor of a labor camp.
Uncle David is also stressed, but he has a job that keeps him very busy and he is looking forward to selling a lot of property (he is in Real Estate) so that he can pay the bills that all of these trips to Philadelphia have run up. He gets no rest because he is a single parent and also has an apartment, cleaning, washing, and cooking to take care of as well as administrating William's new medicines to him and watching him 24 hours a day. I only get to have William on every other weekend and so I miss him a lot.
Every day that William stays well, I praise the good Lord for His blessings. Every time that he coughs I worry that he will spit up blood again and that the whole process will begin again. I guess it is that worry that is getting to me.
Starting today I am going to get back to work on the second book and absorb myself in completing it and revising it properly. I would like the book to be ready and published in early summer, 2014. So I first cleaned my house and made order out of things, then I am preparing for a major doctor's visit tomorrow and hope to have all of my physical needs met. At that point I am going to start an exercise program and go swimming or walking every day. I know that I need to do this in order to be able to finish the books that are in my mind and mostly down on paper.
Thank you for your incredible patience with me. I seem to burst out in tears at the most inappropriate times and I ask for your thoughts and prayers and see if we can pull this emotional baggage out of the water and get it drying in the sun so that I can feel happy again and be ready to write you ideas and substance. You could send magic wishes that I will perk up and be functional again, and then we can have some fun again. Have I told you lately that I love you? What say that tomorrow we discuss the beginning of it all? The "God Particle"?
Have a wonderful day and night and thank you for coming back every day. I love you my friend. God bless and keep you in your daily struggles and triumphs. May the triumphs far outweigh the struggles.
As I sit here struggling to put words on paper that make some kind of sense, I can only guess at what the problem is. I am "mourning" William. He did not die, but for 3 weeks we did not know if he would live. He had to return to the hospital a week and a half ago in great stress, but not to the extent of his first experience. But not to know, or have any idea, when his system will break down again keeps us in a state of constant tension. School is coming up in another month and we worry about William going to school and being exposed to many germs and viruses which his system cannot handle. Will they accept him in school or will he have to go into a special school program for children with grave illnesses. William is a star at school and has many friends and the teachers love him. He wants his life to go on as before, and we want to accommodate him and give him a happy, near-normal life. The doctors increased his Prednisone and added some medicine to help with auto-immune diseases. We are all hoping that this will help to make him stronger. He appears stronger and is eating like a horse which is so good because he looks like a survivor of a labor camp.
Uncle David is also stressed, but he has a job that keeps him very busy and he is looking forward to selling a lot of property (he is in Real Estate) so that he can pay the bills that all of these trips to Philadelphia have run up. He gets no rest because he is a single parent and also has an apartment, cleaning, washing, and cooking to take care of as well as administrating William's new medicines to him and watching him 24 hours a day. I only get to have William on every other weekend and so I miss him a lot.
Every day that William stays well, I praise the good Lord for His blessings. Every time that he coughs I worry that he will spit up blood again and that the whole process will begin again. I guess it is that worry that is getting to me.
Starting today I am going to get back to work on the second book and absorb myself in completing it and revising it properly. I would like the book to be ready and published in early summer, 2014. So I first cleaned my house and made order out of things, then I am preparing for a major doctor's visit tomorrow and hope to have all of my physical needs met. At that point I am going to start an exercise program and go swimming or walking every day. I know that I need to do this in order to be able to finish the books that are in my mind and mostly down on paper.
Thank you for your incredible patience with me. I seem to burst out in tears at the most inappropriate times and I ask for your thoughts and prayers and see if we can pull this emotional baggage out of the water and get it drying in the sun so that I can feel happy again and be ready to write you ideas and substance. You could send magic wishes that I will perk up and be functional again, and then we can have some fun again. Have I told you lately that I love you? What say that tomorrow we discuss the beginning of it all? The "God Particle"?
Have a wonderful day and night and thank you for coming back every day. I love you my friend. God bless and keep you in your daily struggles and triumphs. May the triumphs far outweigh the struggles.
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