I'm so mad at him I could spit!
I'll never forgive her for what she did to me and my family.
I'll never forgive myself for not checking on the baby sooner.
We have all been angry at times when people abuse us or misuse our kindness. Most of us never forgive ourselves for times when we think we should have been able to do more, or been just a little quicker in what we did do. This is often what happens when a loved one dies and we go through the steps of mourning. We think so many "If only I'd..." "I should have been quicker to respond" "It's all my fault", or conversely, "It's all THEIR fault!"
We often go through our lives blaming and second-guessing our actions and others actions. This causes a great deal of stress on our body and mind. We lose our ability to find joy in life and often feel very depressed and balled up with anger. This stress can lead to heart attacks and strokes and stress on other organs of our bodies. In other words, wishing that someone who has hurt us becomes ill, has bad luck, or loses a family member, (sometimes cried out when we have been gravely wounded). Or just the thought that "they'll get theirs one day!" brings us pleasure for a moment. All of this wanting to get revenge, or beating our own selves up over some action or thought we've had, is like drinking a horrible and quick-acting poison. All negativity causes organic deterioration. The stronger our emotion, the greater the deterioration, until you become physically, mentally, or spiritually stunted, and take years off of your life span.
Wow, that isn't what we had in mind. We thought that expressing our rage would totally mess up the lives of our "enemy" and we would "get even" for what he or she had done or said to us. Truth is that when we take out our anger and frustration on others, or our own selves, the person who gets hurt the most is the person who has let their anger get the better of them.
So what do we do when others hurt us? Forgive them? That sounds namby-pamby and probably makes you feel that that would be the stupidest thing you could ever do. Why be a dummy and let others get by with their bad actions and words. Surely we have a right to defend ourselves when we get hurt, and you would be right. Only you would be "right" AND "ill" from the negativity that would come from our actions.
So what is our goal in life? To actually thrive and grow from our experiences, or to shorten our life by several years? The choice, of course, is your own to make, but consider these possible solutions to help preserve our own lives.
You have spouted off to a person who has just let you down, or hurt you in some manner. True, the other person is probably hurt by your words or actions and you may feel triumph or joy, but it will only make you feel good in the moment. In the long run, your actions bring about reactions that are negative and soon you are feeling doubly hurt and angry and the anger and resentment seem to escalate over time. Some of us carry a grudge or anger for years or decades and wonder why everyone else seems happier, or are not as ill as we feel.
So, the bottom line is this: we forgive other people, and let things go that anger us, not just to be a positive person, but to save our own lives and have the longest life span possible. It is for your own sake that you accept that there are going to be negative people that we have to deal with, and decide not to let their negativity destroy your own peace of mind and ability to know joy.
Thank you for reading and thinking about this subject. I have experienced all that I have talked about and done different things each time. I have been angry and known deep grief. I have yelled out at my detractors and harbored years of anger and resentment. When my fiance died I felt-feel-that I could have done more to preserve his life and bombard myself with "what-ifs". All of this resentment and anger made me very ill both physically and mentally. I am 69 and have only just come to grips with my own attitude on this subject. I have learned to come from love and release the negativity that comes into my life and my whole life has changed. I no longer dwell on others-or my own-negativity, and my health continues to improve and I am a much happier person.
Just an idea to ponder.
Have a wonderful, relaxing weekend and be sure to pamper yourself.
I'll never forgive her for what she did to me and my family.
I'll never forgive myself for not checking on the baby sooner.
We have all been angry at times when people abuse us or misuse our kindness. Most of us never forgive ourselves for times when we think we should have been able to do more, or been just a little quicker in what we did do. This is often what happens when a loved one dies and we go through the steps of mourning. We think so many "If only I'd..." "I should have been quicker to respond" "It's all my fault", or conversely, "It's all THEIR fault!"
We often go through our lives blaming and second-guessing our actions and others actions. This causes a great deal of stress on our body and mind. We lose our ability to find joy in life and often feel very depressed and balled up with anger. This stress can lead to heart attacks and strokes and stress on other organs of our bodies. In other words, wishing that someone who has hurt us becomes ill, has bad luck, or loses a family member, (sometimes cried out when we have been gravely wounded). Or just the thought that "they'll get theirs one day!" brings us pleasure for a moment. All of this wanting to get revenge, or beating our own selves up over some action or thought we've had, is like drinking a horrible and quick-acting poison. All negativity causes organic deterioration. The stronger our emotion, the greater the deterioration, until you become physically, mentally, or spiritually stunted, and take years off of your life span.
Wow, that isn't what we had in mind. We thought that expressing our rage would totally mess up the lives of our "enemy" and we would "get even" for what he or she had done or said to us. Truth is that when we take out our anger and frustration on others, or our own selves, the person who gets hurt the most is the person who has let their anger get the better of them.
So what do we do when others hurt us? Forgive them? That sounds namby-pamby and probably makes you feel that that would be the stupidest thing you could ever do. Why be a dummy and let others get by with their bad actions and words. Surely we have a right to defend ourselves when we get hurt, and you would be right. Only you would be "right" AND "ill" from the negativity that would come from our actions.
So what is our goal in life? To actually thrive and grow from our experiences, or to shorten our life by several years? The choice, of course, is your own to make, but consider these possible solutions to help preserve our own lives.
You have spouted off to a person who has just let you down, or hurt you in some manner. True, the other person is probably hurt by your words or actions and you may feel triumph or joy, but it will only make you feel good in the moment. In the long run, your actions bring about reactions that are negative and soon you are feeling doubly hurt and angry and the anger and resentment seem to escalate over time. Some of us carry a grudge or anger for years or decades and wonder why everyone else seems happier, or are not as ill as we feel.
So, the bottom line is this: we forgive other people, and let things go that anger us, not just to be a positive person, but to save our own lives and have the longest life span possible. It is for your own sake that you accept that there are going to be negative people that we have to deal with, and decide not to let their negativity destroy your own peace of mind and ability to know joy.
Thank you for reading and thinking about this subject. I have experienced all that I have talked about and done different things each time. I have been angry and known deep grief. I have yelled out at my detractors and harbored years of anger and resentment. When my fiance died I felt-feel-that I could have done more to preserve his life and bombard myself with "what-ifs". All of this resentment and anger made me very ill both physically and mentally. I am 69 and have only just come to grips with my own attitude on this subject. I have learned to come from love and release the negativity that comes into my life and my whole life has changed. I no longer dwell on others-or my own-negativity, and my health continues to improve and I am a much happier person.
Just an idea to ponder.
Have a wonderful, relaxing weekend and be sure to pamper yourself.
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