NOTES ON HURRICANE SANDY & "HEAVEN AGAIN"

It is 2:15 a.m. on Monday, October 29,2012. I am wide awake with no desire to sleep. The winds are howling around the building and I can hear the snap of the occasional missile that is being hurled by the wind at the building. All of the merchants have removed any thing that does not have permanent attachments and all of the cars are off the streets. Many, like David, stored their car in the parking lot of the Tropicana Casino next door. Last night about 11:30 I went to the Tropicana to gamble, and won $97.00. It was so much fun-kind of Nero fiddled while Rome burned-because all of the young people were dressed in costumes for Halloween and were obviously having a very good time; booze flowed. Girls were dancing on the counters and tables. Much fun and games. I think that all that is on the children's minds, is whether or not Halloween will come and there will be trick-or-treating on Wednesday night. I can sympathize. I used to love Halloween and trick or treating.

The schools announced on Friday that there would be no school on Monday or Tuesday; probably going to miss a few more days before this is over as I doubt whether all the lights will be back up for some time.

We filled zip-lock bags (quart size) with water and filled our freezers with them. Then I took some duct tape and taped the freezer tightly shut. Now the whole refrigerator is cold on the outside and I believe that the freezer will act like an ice box and preserve the food in the refrigerator for 2 or 3 days; then we can pray that the electricity will be back on. If not, we will have had full use of all the food in the refrigerator and not lost much in the process. We also filled all the tubs with water and filled more zip-lock bags with water and filled all the sinks with them. So we have stored bottled water, and every container and sink in the house is filled with water, and we have the tub water to use for flushing toilets. We should have stored more trash bags as there are so many uses for them and they can be used for back-up toilets, but we were caught short. We will make a note to get more next time. We are going to keep track of items we miss so we can stock more of them for the next time. And there will always be a next time as volatile as the weather has been the last many years.

Well, I will write "Heaven Again" and wait for the hurricane to hit. So far we have just prepared and gotten ready and organized, and then we just laid around and watched old movies and TV. The next few hours we may be sitting on the floor of the hallways where there will be light for at least 2-3 days and wait out the worst of the storm. The hallways have no access to windows or doors and so none of the elements will be able to touch us. Willie, my 11 year-old grandson, is just recovering from a bad pneumonia and needs to use his nebulizer every day, but we can go to the 17th floor and use the one outlet supported by the generator to run the nebulizer and charge our phones. Although, the crank light/radio also has a port to charge phones up with. Such a clever piece of equipment that is.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Nine      "HEAVEN AGAIN"

The light turned into a tunnel and its warmth felt like a soft glove surrounding us with peace and  love. Ed and I walked down the tunnel of light. Pure light surrounded us and my heart filled with love and joy; we had returned to Home and found ourselves in my quiet place where all remained the same as when I had left it.

We sat down on our white rock and it accomodated both of us. The flowers were singing our favorite music. The birds flew and dipped above us in brilliant colors. What  a sight to see, what a marvelous homecoming!

"We made it darling, didn't we? We became engaged and spiritually married; we became best friends," I said.

Ed rose up and turned to me. He took my hands in his and pulled me to my feet. He held me in his arms and we became one energy form of pure light. We are light, we are love; we shone brightly in our quiet place, and knew powerful joy.

"Now that our quiet place has become both of ours, I would like to bring some of my own quiet place here," said Ed. "Some of my favorite birds and animals, and I would like to transplant my rose garden, if you don't mind."

"Of course honey, that would improve our quiet place. I'll welcome all that you bring."

"I also have a surprise for you dear. Close your eyes!" I shut my eyes and soon he told me to open my eyes and look. Ed had prepared a picnic lunch for us and he had spread it on the grass by my feet: fresh-out-of-the-oven French bread and a bottle of wine, also some figs and apples. It looked phenomenal and I discovered that I was surprisingly hungry.

Ed spoke as we ate. He told mr that soon we would be going to see our loved ones who were gathering at my family home with heavenly father and mother. Then he told me that much later I would once again meet with the three men from the Council of Elders, and that they would talk to me about what I would be doing here at home.

We finished our lunch and relaxed and talked about our Earth life games. Ed told me that I would be going to the Revisiting-Your-Life-Game Building and would have all of my questions answered about my accomplishments and failures in my Earth life game. He said not to worry that all the people who worked in that building were very kind and fair.


Tomorrow we will pray for electricity and hope to be back writing about Ann's meeting with her loved ones who had passed before her. We will also describe the "Perfect Storm" for you from the Ritz on the ocean front in Atlantic City. So tomorrow, or the next day, we will be back with both stories. God bless and keep you and be with us during the coming natural disaster.

HURRICANE SANDY & THE PASSING OF ANN

We have decided to stay at the Ritz even if they try to evacuate us. There really is no place to run to as all of the roads will be packed with people who do not know where they are going to be able to go to escape the high winds. There are so many trees that will fall and Atlantic City is fraught with dangers. No water, no electricity for the duration. Our hotel has emergency generators so we will have three days of light in our halls & elevators. if the wind tears things up, we can go into the hallways where there is no exposure to the outside. I do not know where the people who are evacuating Atlantic City will go. There will be destruction everywhere and the roads are constantly threatened with tree's down and power lines down. The great danger of the evacuation is that people will be stalled for hours in traffic trying to all get away. Gasoline will run out. And then people will be at the mercy of downed trees and downed power lines. Sitting in your car during a hurricane sounds like the place I would least like to be; so we are snuggled in here at the hotel. We are cooking up food that we can eat when there is no power. We are also looking out for Rita, an older woman who is alone and staying in the building. We will watch out for her and try to allay her fears.

This hotel, The Ritz, has withstood hurricanes for over 90 years, and we feel that she will not fail us now.

The ocean is roiling and pure white as far as the eye can see. The tide has risen 6 feet so far and coming closer to the Boardwalk at every surge. There are huge bulldozers on the beach pushing the sand up against the bank of the Boardwalk. We are praying for the lives of those people who evacuate. We are keeping in touch with our families as long as the cell phones work, and I am writing you a blog to let you know the conditions and how things turn out from the vantage point of the Ritz.

All of the casinos are closing at 4:00 p.m., today (Sunday). They are taking no chances. Businesses are putting up plywood over their windows. But my other concern is for all of the people who do not have cars or any vehicles. 75% of Atlantic City is populated by people who do not have cars and must depend on mass transit to evacuate them. Where will they be taken to if they can find room on the bus or Jitney? There are no rooms for rent in the hotels around the area. So I pray there are shelters that they can find.

The rain has started, but it is still mild and people are still walking on the Boardwalk; watching the ocean in its changing awesomeness.


THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Eight

It is evening, and I go through my routine of closing up the house; making sure that all of my daily chores have been atteded to and that the house will feel warm and comfortable for the night. I thank ONE for this wonderful apartment and His taking care of me each day and providing for all of my needs and also for many of my "wants." He is so generous to His children. Afterwards, when all of my work is done for the day I take a shower and relax and just kick back for the rest of the evening, reading, or writing or watching television.

About 11:00 p.m., I take my night meds and slip into bed for the night. I listen to a Sedona method CD and relax and set my goals for the next day.  Then I try to trick myself into going to sleep, but most of the time I am awake at all hours of the day and night.


                                                             __________________________


"Ann, Ann! It's time to be together!"

I open my eyes and see a great light and in the great light is Ed gently shaking me.

"Come on honey," says Ed, "it's time to go home; it's time to walk into the light together."

"Where are we going to?" I ask.

"Home honey, home: just three feet to go and we'll be there!"

I stood up and took Ed's hand and we walked into the light together.

November 14, 2024


Tomorrow, or whenever we are able to write again, we begin the part of the book that deals with Ann's transition into Heaven Again! We will also give you updates on the hurricane.
Please return to see what happens to Ann, and to myself and my family. God bless each one of you!

ANN'S PHILOSOPHY & NOTES ON THE HURRICANE

Ann is getting older and tells her children and grandchildren what she believes in, and some notes on the coming hurricane, Sandy.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Eight

First, a note about the hurricane, Sandy, that is headed straight for Atlantic City and the Delaware River near Delaware and Philadelphia, PA. I hope my computer stays up through at least Thursday so that I can give you a blow by blow account from the front row of a natural disaster. I live in a 17 story, old, hotel/condominium right on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean in Atlantic City. From my window I can watch the ocean as she changes due to weather conditions.

Everyone here, about 300 people, are set to wait out the storm and do not intend to evacuate. We have stored water and food, batteries and radios, and the hotel has a generator that keeps the hallways lit up so we can find our ways to the emergency exits if they are needed. The hotel has stood through many hurricanes over the hundred years that it has been standing, so while we are cautious about the effects of the hurricane upon her, none of us intends to leave for higher ground. Besides the hurricane coming from the south east, we have a major cold front coming in our direction from the midwest and expected to hit Philadelphia at the same time as the hurricane. This could also bring us a great deal of snow; time will tell.

I will give you a blow by blow account of the effects of the hurricane on the city and the beaches. I hope I can write to you everyday, but if we lose electricity I will catch you up once our electricity is back on. It should be a real adventure. The city planning authorities are going to give evacuation notices today and there is only two roads off of the island (Atlantic City is an island) so people will have to leave right away, if they're going to go, or risk having the roads totally closed by the flood waters. Once the storm hits, there will be no way off of the island, so we are essentially stuck.

As of right now, the sky is grey and forbidding and the ocean has become a little rough. They are moving sand from the low lands to the Boardwalk in order not to lose too much sand during the storm. We have people living under the Boardwalk in makeshift shelters. They must remove to the rescue missions or be swept out to sea. They have no money or means and I feel afraid for their prospects. Most of the people in Atlantic City must rely on the buses for transportation and so to get to safety they must leave most of their personal possessions behind and hope for the best. Next to them, I feel very fortunate and most of my thoughts and prayers will be for those with less means.

My friends are elderly and have no transportation but they have the feeling that they will be all right, right where they are. They have no intention on leaving or evacuating. Please keep all of the people in your prayers as this hurricane hits us with full fury. Thank you.

ANN:

This is my philosophy that I share with you for a moment. I feel like I need to write down my thoughts for my family. IT is all about love. The great truths are that we are love and that we are one with ONE.

I have begun to understand that we are all one. That what hurts you; hurts me also. That what brings joy to you; brings joy to me. I am responsible for treating you with loving kindness, for treating you with respect and dignity. For when I honor you, I honor my own self. We are one, my friend, and we are also one with everyone and everything in the Cosmos. We are love, and love is not a weak, ephemeral feeling, but the great force, the great energy, that runs the Cosmos. That is the Cosmos; that is God (ONE). I do not "own" anything spiritual alone, for all belongs to all. You may hold a fine possession all of your life and believe that you own it. That is quite different from owning its essence; its spirit.

ONE loves you just as you are right now. He loves all of his children and hears them, is with them, at all times. He cares deeply if we choose Him, but He loves us so much that He has given us a free will and freedom of choice in all that we do; He has given us our freedom. There are no rules to ONE's love. It is free and does not quantify or qualify. It is boundless as the skies. It is infinite. All of us are one with ONE and we are His representatives of love.

The concept of guilt is bunk. It gets in the way of our recognizing who we are. Of course we feel remorse when we hurt another person, and we repent and mend the situation, but once we have shown love and compassion to the person we hurt we must let go of the negative feelings in our heart regarding this subject. To do else is to subtract time from more worthy pursuits. The worthy pursuit is to grow in love and in expressing that love. Once you realize that you do love, then you realize that there is no fault in you that has not been overcome by the greatest love of all, ONE. You know that you are part of the whole, the ONE; that there is nothing that cannot be forgiven.

If we hate something it is because we sense in it some part within ourselves that we have hidden and not faced. Hate has to be worked at, it is not a natural reaction; our natural response is to love whatever comes into our lives; indeed to love ourselves and all that is around us.

Each of us is a simple frequency in the grand opera of existence: unique, but one part of a complete whole.

I have made so many errors in thinking and acting in my lifetime. Sometimes I am mortified at the amount of hurt I have managed to inflict upon my family and friends, the thought makes me shiver with sorrow and pain. Too often I have judged my fellow brothers and sisters and have had to live what they have suffered in order to understand their feelings; this is a hard way to get through life and finally you come to a point where you accept folks just as they are because you are the same and know it; maybe a little different story is all.

I have attained the ripe old age of 80 and my family has grown up around me. I have nine children and three step-children; 17 grandchildren; and 15 great-grandchildren. Debby and Charlie have retired; David has become a real-estate broker; and Jared has retired from the Coast Guard after 23 years of service. All of the family is doing really well, and Charlie has become a City Councilman in Belle Plaine, Iowa.

I have found a long-time companion in pain; she never goes away and leaves me alone although there are brief moments when she will lull a little bit. I have grown to accept her as a result of not taking good enough care of my body when I was younger. That is one thing I would change if I had the opportunity to do so.


Tomorrow, an update on the hurricane's path and we finish the second part of Heaven & Hell (HELL), as we find Ann passing and traveling back to Heaven Again.

A NOTE TO MY BLOG READERS ABOUT HURRICAN SANDY

My dear friends, as you know I live on the ocean in Atlantic City, New Jersey. In a great old hotel that is preparing itself for the worst brunt of the hurricane which should hit by Sunday morning. We do not know exactly what to plan for, but every time there has been a hurricane come close to us, we have suffered no electricity or community services for at least a week following the storm. The hotel is digging in for the long haul and we have food, and water, and all of our medications that we will need for that time spell.

The worst problem I face is that we may lose all of our technology and I may not be able to send out my blog because of a lack of power to run the computer and modem.

Please know and understand that if you do not get a new blog everyday over the next two weeks, it is because we have no electricity and my computer is down. Please check in every day that you can, as I will get a post up if it is at all possible. I will blog about the hurricane and its affect on our lives as well as continue to tell the story about Ann and her companions.

Thank you so much for your patience this last six months, I promise that I will be up if at all possible, and I will be wanting to write.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Eight

I am beginning to feel elderly. No more do I just walk out of my home before taking in weather reports and conditions for my area. In the winter I cannot any longer go outside without suitable garb and protection on. In the winter it's coats and scarves and hats, and in the summer it is sun block, sunglasses, and a light sweater in case the doctor insists that I walk with a cane. Vanity goes out the window as you age.

Every morning I awake and rejoice that I am still alive and kicking. I find myself cleaning the house every morning, which is much different than when I was younger, but I like to have the sense of order around me. As well as the fact, that if I don't put things in a certain place I will have lost them forever as my memory in some areas is very dim. All of the data is still in the organic computer but access to the data is running a little more slowly.

Food is the focal organizing point of the day; three set meals mark each part of the day, and the cleaning up of those meals give the day substance and balance.

The second organizing factor of the day is taking care of your health. There are the monthly doctor's appointments, the organizing and taking of multiple medications and vitamins and minerals, and the monitoring of yourself and your diet. The month is ruled by going to the various doctor's appointments which entail walking a mile to the bus, taking the bus to your destination, walking to the doctor's office, and then turning around and repeating the process in reverse. It has become very hard to get out and do all of the walking and taking of the bus, but those steps are very necessary to my health-so I do them.

I have become ever more aware of my own self and it seems that I can clearly distinguish the outline between my spirit and my flesh. I wonder often if I can hear the music of heaven for the music is very enticing that runs through my mind. I feel my own mortality and it drags me down to earth. I teeter on the edge of a terror that I will harm myself in some dumb way just like I broke the end joint of my right index finger and I have no idea how I broke it. It makes you really feel safe to walk out into the outside world. Then there is the other enemy, the germs and illnesses that are brought into the home when the grandchildren have the flue or a cold. I love then so much and I love their hugs and kisses but sometimes I will excuse myself when they are obviously ill, because I automatically catch whatever illnesses they bring with them, and healing from each bout of flue takes several weeks.

I have become the matriarch of a large interracial family and that is humbling and exciting at the same time. It is what I have definitely always prayed for, but now I have so many young people looking at me to see if I am as good as my word and what I teach them. I pray hard every day to grow ever wiser and stronger and to know what to say to each of them. I pray that I will live what I teach.


Tomorrow I share Ann's philosophy about life, now that she is getting older and praying for peace.

THE PAIN OF BECKY'S PASSING

Ann loses her daughter, Becky, who passes away very unexpectedly in May of 2008.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Seven

Becky became a model mother, daughter, and sister. As she worked on her twelve step program she became happier and freer as a person. I was so proud of her. Every morning at 9:00, before she headed off for the AA meetings, she would give me a call and tell me that she loved me.

Then, on the morning of May 8th, 2008, I received my morning call. I ran to the phone and said, "Good morning. Honey!" but this time she did not answer back, instead it was Walter and he told me that his mother was dead, could I please come!

I could not believe what I was hearing, my little girl dead? That was patently impossible. That just could not be, not now when life was just opening up for her.

I told Walter that I would be right over as soon as the bus ran; he was beside himself. He had called 911, and the police and an ambulance came and told Walter that his mother was dead. Walter and the other children at home were beside themselves. Sierra and Warren were still in school and did not know that their mother had died.

Aunt Ruth saved me by coming to the house and picking me up. We got Warren and Sierra from school and told them and they just fell apart, poor children. Then we went to the house and I had Walter bring Willie downstairs; he did not know yet that his mother had passed on as he had been absorbed in a video game. When I told Willie that his mother had passed away, he disolved into screams.

It was a horrible day as David and Alex arrived and all the relatives began to come and give us prayer and comfort. The prayer and comfort made it possible to get through the experience, but it was impossible to get around the fact that Becky was no longer with us and that just did not seem possible. She left a big gaping hole in our lives. Charley and Shannon kept on the phone to us (Jared was overseas) to try to support us and to let us talk things out of our system. Debby was catching an airplane to come; Lois had helped our family out again by buying her a ticket to come join us. Having Debby here really helped me to get through. She spent the two weeks she came with me and we really cemented our relationship tightly together. We decided that we would never again leave time between us without a call or a letter; we vowed to call each other at least once a week.

Becky's funeral was beautiful and so many people from all of the families came out to support us. Now the trick was to get through the rest of life.

David filed for guardianship of the three younger children and was given it without any problem. He and Alex had never contemplated raising children at all, had never wanted children, but now they stood up and became the best parents you would ever want to find. For my part, I watched Willie on the weekends for David while he and Alex worked. Walter watched Warren on the weekends, and Skeet and Lindsay has Sierra visit them on the weekends. The children were the best children you can imagine. Even through their incredible sorrow they remained whole and loving and tried their best at school. We were very proud of them.

Losing a child is probably one of the most painful losses in life. It doesn't seem right somehow that your children should pass before you; somehow I wasn't able to comprehend the loss. It seemed impossible that one day you have a daughter as your best friend and the next she doesn't call anymore. There are no shopping trips together, no more long walks, no more talks until midnight, no more sharing secrets that no one else knew about. No more of anything together again. However there were the children to consider and for them we managed brave faces and went on with our lives. Thank ONE for the children, as attending to them kept us all sane.

We had a series of six incidents at my home over the next three months. My cell phone would fly off of the table to my left and actually turn in mid-air and land behind the chair I was sitting in. I took this to mean that Becky was letting me know that she was all right. It was a comfort to all of us. All of the children would see their mother in their sleep encouraging them to be strong and assuring them that she was near to them.

In December of 2008 I was given a real treat; David and his friend Sherrie took me to New York City to meet Anders and spend the day in the city. We had a ball; it even snowed throughout the day. We went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and to Strawberry Fields in Central park to honor John Lennon. We went to Rockefeller Center and saw the giant Christmas tree, and we saw Times Square. It was all so wonderful, one of the best days of my life. Of course seeing Anders again was the best part of all.


Tomorrow Ann discusses her care as an elderly person and looks back on her life.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

SETTLING INTO NEW JERSEY

I am so sorry that the blog did not get done yesterday. My grandson, Willie, has been in the hospital for a week with pneumonia and I finally got well enough to sit with him yesterday. I did not get home until very late and did not get the blog written.

We continue today with Ann and her first year in New Jersey and the passing of the children's father, Charles Albert.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Seven

I learned a lot about myself in the mental hospital, which would be my last hospitalization. I came to grip with my loss of Ed and I learned a lot about how the past was affecting me now. I looked those things straight in the eye and found solid ground to walk on.

I had had to stop driving after being in two automobile accidents in a two month period. It turned out that I had cataracts on both of my eyes and my vision was impaired without my realizing it. I gave the children's other grandmother, Loretta, the car and stopped driving. A few months later I had an operation to remove the cataracts and miracle of miracles I was left with 20/20 vision in both eyes, although I had to wear reading glasses to read or do close work.

Without a car for transportation, I learned the bus routes and went all over the county as I needed to. Of course David took both Becky and I shopping for whatever we needed, but I had to get to doctors by myself and if I wanted to go somewhere else special, like the casinos, I went by bus and Jitney. I found the bus rides to be marvelous, you meet new people and hear about their lives and problems and you go home feeling better about your own situation.

Shortly thereafter, David found an apartment for me that was close to where Becky and the grandchildren lived. It was a beautiful little place in a seniors-only complex. It was so beautiful and peaceful in the area that I felt like I had moved to heaven. It was the first time in my life that I had ever lived alone and I loved every moment of it. Now my spirit began to blossom and I felt free for the first time in my life. Because I was happier and less stressed, my mental health improved markedly, and between Becky and I all the fences were mended and we became closer that at any other time in our lives.

Anders sent me the Sedona Method, which is a self-help exercise of releasing and sets you totally free of old business in your life by helping you to grow and develop spiritually by realizing who you really are. This helped me more than any other method I had ever tried and I became strong and wrote a book of poetry for my children and grandchildren called Heartfire 2007.

Then a great miracle happened, my little Skeeta had grown into a fine, strong man and had fallen in love with a wonderful girl named Lindsay. They told us that they were expecting a little girl and our whole lives lit up. Becky and I dreamed about our little girl, Becky's first grandchild and my first great-grandchild. Kira Michelle was born on June 2nd, 2007, and Becky, Sierra, and I were there when she was born. We also got to meet Lindsay's family and they are wonderful people, we were all so excited. Kira is a beautiful little girl and Lindsay is a wonderful mother.

Becky became my best friend and she telephoned me first thing every morning. It wouldn't have been as good a day if she hadn't called. She was involved with AA and was working the twelve-step program with great results. She talked about wanting to be a sponsor herself or of writing a book for teen girls about what she had faced in life.

In December of 2007 Charles Albert passed away after going through several years of suffering with a heart condition and diabetes. He had been so proud to be a great-grandfather when Kira was born and no one expected his death, but it happened quickly one night and we all sorrowed. All of the children were very upset, and Arleen gave each of them gifts from their father: a watch and one of his Navy caps with ribbons and medals.


Tomorrow we all suffer a great tragedy as we lose another family member.

ANN'S FIRST YEAR IN JERSEY

Following Ed's passing, Ann settles in her new home in New Jersey.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Seven

As we departed Jared's home and headed to New Jersey, I fell asleep on David for the rest of the trip. Poor fellow had to drive the last thousand miles alone.

I was so glad to be with Becky and the children in their lovely big house. They had set a room apart for me and David had furnished it for me. It was really lovely and being with the grandchildren was wonderful.

At first Becky and I got along well together, but I was in a very bad way spiritually and spent most days alone, locked in my room. I could not listen to any of our music CDs for over a year. Instead I listened to Vh1 Classic on the TV and learned more about rock music, heavy metal, and punk, and this distracted me from my negative thoughts. Jimi Hendrix, AC/DC, Twisted Sister, the Doors, WHO, Queen, Led Zeppelin, and the Grateful Dead, amongst others, all made me forget the pain for a little while.

I loved New Jersey itself, all around me was water and beaches and the beautiful trees and flowers, it is called the Garden State and it really is. I had the car so I was able to get around easily and began learning the city and country around me. I went to the casinos once a month and that was a real treat, there are so many in Atlantic City, so many venues to try.

I found a little synagogue on Brigantine Island that was beautiful and had the finest people imaginable as congregants. They accepted David and me with open arms and we feel a great deal of gratitude for their friendship; belonging to this congregation helped ease the pain of losing Ed; the pain of loneliness.

I was so glad to be with Becky and the children; Becky and I developed a close relationship and of course there were all the children to love. Then I found it difficult to watch Becky stumble and fall and get hurt from over-use of prescription drugs and I found it difficult not to interfere when Becky was treating the children unfairly. We found each other fighting more and more and I began to be very ill both physically and mentally. David set out to find me my own place which was difficult because my income was very low,  $650.00 a month. Coming to New Jersey I had lost $300 in S.S.I. money that I was eligible for in California, because the cost of living was cheaper in New Jersey.

Anders reached out to me by sending me brand new music CDs, and his emotional support; we bcame very close over the years to follow.

I signed up for Jewish Family Services and received a counselor named Jane-Marie. She was a wonderful woman and very concerned for my mental health.

My mental health began to deteriorate, and one day I figured to end it all by taking an overdose of my psychiatric medications. I called Jane-Marie for help and then went to sleep. Jane-Marie came and knocked down my bedroom door and then called 911. I ws transported to this lovely mental hospital in North Hampton quite a long way from home. I was there for two weeks and met some marvelous people. One young woman, named Julie Ann, became a close friend, really like a daughter. She considered me to be her mother-Mama Ann she called me-and I still write, and we talk to each other over the phone.


Tomorrow we follow Ann as she discovers New Jersey and becomes a great-grandmother.

A SCIENTIFIC WAY OF JUDGING YOUR FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS

I have had a problem with being judgmental all of my life. The first impressions (feelings) I received I would use to judge a person as someone I liked, or didn't like.

Problem with that is I have made so many bad calls in my life. Judging that I didn't "like" a person only to find out, in a short time, that they were marvelous people and became close friends, and trusting some people who then scammed me.

Each time I made an error in judgement I castigated myself and determined that I would stop making "instant" judgements. But, instead, I would meet a new person and once again judge too quickly.

What I have learned through lack of thoughtful jugement is that most people I meet are positive and are essentially good people. We all have flaws in our character. Some of us more than others, but none of us is perfect, with our foibles and quirks.

So in my prayers each day I would pray to overcome my weakness in feeling a need to be judgmental. I felt that if I couldn't stop making snap, bad, judgements, that I would never grow into a compassionate person.

About this time I read a short sentence that enlightened my mind, "If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words." An old Chinese proverb.

I thought about this a long while and finally came to a conclusion that has changed my life and helped me not to be negatively judgmental.

We all have the need to be able to size up a person when we meet them for the first time. Sometimes it is for business reasons; we are interviewing someone for a job, or are meeting a co-worker for the first time. Sometimes it is meeting a person on a personal level and need to know if they are trustworthy and/or if they have a positive or negative personality.

When I meet a new person for the first time now, I do not make any initial judgement, but closely listen to the words the person speaks and keep track in my mind of the number of positive things they say, and the number of negative things they say.

Say the person makes ten statements. Eight of the statements used uplifting and positive words and ideas, and two of the statements could be considered negative or deleterious. Overall, the person comes across as positive and trustworthy and so we give them a heads-up judgment call.

If the person, on the other hand, makes ten statements and eight of them are negative words or ideas, and only two of them are positive, then you would want to be cautious in your dealings with that person.

So, instead of relying on your own abilities to judge another person, you use a more scientific method of keeping track of the number of positive or negative things a person says.

We have all had experience with meeting people who poison our lives with their negative spirits, actions, or words. Now we can remain detached until we have enough evidence from the other person's own mouth to decide whether they are a positive or negative person.

Now, my judgements come not from mysterious "feelings" in my heart (although there is a place for such "feelings" later on) but from a more balanced and scientific thought process that counts positive and negative words and then makes a first conclusion based on data, not feelings alone.


I hope you have a wonderful day of rest and thoughtful reflection.

Your Friend,  Davalene Hirsch


Tomorrow, my first days in New Jersey.

INTRODUCTION TO THE GOD GAMES: HEAVEN & HELL

Yesterday we completed THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor and today we will press forward and begin to write the remaining chapters of the GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell is the Divine Comedy of Dante Alighiere meets THE SHACK by William Paul Young.

It is an answer to eternal questions of humankind's purpose in the Cosmos and proposes a new science-based theory of the Singularity. (What happened before the Big Bang.)

We follow the course of one of God's energy forms-Ann-through pre-life, Heaven; a lifetime on Planet Earth, Hell; and the after-life, Heaven Again.

To begin the story from the start you can go to my March 10, 2012 blog, "A Moments Glance into the Purpose of Heaven", and continue reading the blogs from that date until I completed what I had written so far, on Monday, July 9th, 2012.

Today, we begin with THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell, Chapter Thirty Seven...

Trust me, when left to our own devices we can tear ourselves apart.

I relived every moment of Ed's and my life together to try to see if I could have made a change so that he wouldn't have died. I kept seeing his pleading eyes the night he died. Oh, if I could only have lifted him. Oh, if I could only have made him stay in the hospital that night. I beat myself up on the idiocy of being on the streets, living in the wilderness when we were in our sixties. What was I thinking of?

How could I have allowed him not to seek better care? I should have been kinder and gentler. I should have been more loving and forgiving.

In the end I relived each day for the wonder and love of it, and I remembered your eyes my Ed, your eyes so beautiful and expressive. I danced with you to "Harvest Moon" and I felt the delicate pressure of your hand in mine, my head against your chest, the warmth of our connection. For there is the reality of energy forms meeting, even if in slightly different dimensions. Souls can touch other souls.

I was in grief, angry at Ed for leaving me and in denial that he could possibly be dead, but I had to put off experiencing grief because of the pressures of having to make a big change in my life.

I drove to Debby's home and rested there. I took the truck back to the car lot that we bought her from and pretty much just dumped it there. I still owed the bill for her that I would pay for a long time, but I couldn't take two vehicles to New Jersey. I decided that the little Saturn was the most suitable for my current needs. Then I sent boxes of things that were important to me, and that wouldn't fit in the car for the trip, along to New Jersey; to Becky's house in Pleasantville. Everything else I owned, but didn't have the money to send, was packed into boxes and landed on Debby's patio.

David arrived from New Jersey and he spent a couple of days talking to Debby and the children, and going around to greet old friends. Then we were ready to start up across the entire country. Pain at the loss of Ed wiped me out physically as we started across country.

We stopped at Charlie's home in Iowa and it was so good to see Charlie again and I got to meet Lindsey and Mark for the first time. I treasured those few hours that I got to spend with them.

When we got to Michigan, we got to spend time with Jared and his new wife, Shannon, and their little boy named Drake. He was a beautiful little boy and Jared had chosen the most perfect wife who was a great cook and fed us wonderful meals.


Tomorrow we rest and pull our life together. We will post a thought for the day, and then on Monday, we will continue to write the book for your enjoyment.

Have a wonderful week-end and I will see you tomorrow morning...I hope!
















































































































































































































































































































































































                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

THE CONCLUSION OF LEGEND OF KOR

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    
Today we come to the conclusion of the science fiction novel, THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor. Thank you for your support over the last months, I hope you have enjoyed reading the serialization. For those of you interested, the serialization of THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell, begins on Saturday, March 10, 2012 with the blog, "A Moments Glance into the Purpose of Heaven." Feel free to go back and re-read the first 2/3rd of the book and then follow the rest of the book to its conclusion..

THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor...Chapter Twenty Four...

"SO, are all of the loose ends tied up? asked Albert.                                                                                              
"Yes. All is at peace, and friendships have been celebrated," said Ed.

"Did you accomplish all of your goals? Is theere peace in all of Kor?

"Yes. All prayers have been answered, and all the lost family members have been returned to their families again. There is a Democracy forming in Selve and they have excellent leadership."

"So you are ready to return to your homes again?"

"Yes. We are definitely ready."

"Then you each have done an excellent job, even though you lost your leader at the midpoint."

"Have you heard any word about Tom?" asked Glenna.

"We know that he is re-establishing his relationship with ONE, but sometimes it takes a long time to learn to govern your heart again. But remember Glenna, he will eventually-and maybe quickly-find himself again. So continue your prayers and loving support.

"Now, as to returning home again; Welcome! Come home at your own speed, you can leave today and when you get home you will be taking a vacation before being re-assigned.

"Do you want to be re-assigned?"

"At some time in the future, yes. It is yes, isn't it Ann and Glenna?"

"Oh yes," we chorused. "We thoroughly enjoyed working with the people of Kor. We'll be glad to take other assignments after a break to rest up."

"Then it is all decided. I will see the three of you when you reach home."

Albert left then, and we looked at each other and did little dances of joy. Home. We're really going home!

We battened down all of the furniture and made sure that nothing was free to fly around. Then we strapped ourselves into our harnesses and seat belts. Glenna and I sat at the control console with Ed.

The ship rose in the air like a great silver bird, and we were off into the Cosmos; on our way home again.

                                                                        __________


From somewhere in the Cosmos a humble prayer reached ONE'S ears...


                                                                           THE  END

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

PREPARING THE SPACE SHIP FOR RETURN HOME

The three friends arrive back at the space ship after seeing their friends home and saying good-bye to them, and get their ship ready for a return trip to Heaven.

THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor...Chapter Twenty Four...

The three friends arrived safely back at the ship and stood for a while watching Lumena cross the sky and hundreds of "falling stars" putting on a show.

Reluctantly, we finally went inside and felt a feeling of loss and emptiness with all of our friends gone.

To ease our sadness, we all turned to, and washed the dishes and scrubbed the floors. We did a touch-up on the utility rooms where our friends had washed up before meals, and then we called it a night and went to bed.

In the morning, we all got up and fixed a light breakfast.

"What's next, Ed?" asked Glenna.

"Well, this morning, I am going to send a message to Albert and ask him if it is time to come home yet. Hopefully, he will give us permission to return today. If not, well I guess we wait until the right time comes.

"I thought that we would each enter the parturient chamber and regain our own forms. Then we should be ready when the message arrives."

"Good ideas, dear," I said. "Do you have to check on the ship at all before we go?"

"Yes. After calling Albert, and after going through the parturient chamber-when I am back in my own form-then I will give the ship a thorough going over. What will you ladies be doing with yourselves?"

"I think that we will make sure that the ship is thoroughly clean inside and then make something for lunch and dinner," replied Glenna.

Ed went to the ship's console and sent out a message, at the speed of light, to Albert, asking him if they could now return home.

We opened the parturient chamber and entered it one by one. When we stepped out we were our bright, shiny energy-form selves, and we danced at the freedom we now enjoyed.

Ed set about checking all of the electronics and the mechanics of the ship, and could find no problems.

Glenna and I scrubbed and polished until everything shone.

At lunch time, we all gathered in the dining nook and ate our lunch slowly. We were out of things to do-as simple as that.

As we were picking up the kitchen, we heard a knock on the door. We looked at each other, and then Ed cautiously opened the door. It would not do to have a Korian see us in our energy forms, however they would probably not be shocked.

Fortunately, it turned out to be Albert.

"Welcome Albert!" We all cried out in greeting. "What a relief to see you! We have run out of things to do. Can we go home?"

"Can I sit down first?" asked Albert.

"Oh, sorry, come in and have a seat." And we ushered him into the dining nook and offered him some lunch. He declined the lunch, but accepted a slice of lemon meringue pie and a glass of grape juice.


Tomorrow is the conclusion of this book as the energynauts return to their Heavenly home.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

THE ENERGYNAUTS SPEAK THEIR MIND

Today we find the Korian leaders and the energynauts still hovering near Lumena and taking turns speaking their minds.

I am truly sorry but the flue lingers on and today's portion will also be small. Thank you for your patience.

THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor...Chapter Twenty Three...

"Oh, sorry Ed," said Wills, "I am really wound up tight about this subject. Thank you for your encouraging words."

"Wills and I, and the children," spoke Molly, "are going back home to Selve. There, I will become a homemaker and we hope to have several more children together.

"Wills has great new ideas and he is going to do a lot to change Selve, for the good. I'm so proud of him."

We all assured Wills that he had some great ideas and that we would all support him when the time came.

Lucy spoke up again, "Since this is a day of celebration, let's have another one to cap it off. I have a dear friend, a right-hand woman, and I want to surprise her today.

"Alice?"

"Yes, Lucy."

"You are no longer my secretary. As of Tuesday morning, you are vice-President of Admissions at the University of Kor. You will receive a wage that reflects your worth to me and the University. Now you can put your baby in that really nice Day Care by the University."

"Oh Lucy, are you serious? I don't know what to say, but thank you so much! I am so happy!"

We all whistled and hooted and praised Alice, and Adam pulled out the flask one more time.

It is fair to say that we were having a really good time, but the day was coming to a close and we knew we soon had to return to our own homes.

I spoke up then and told everyone that I loved them and that I had fallen in love with their countries and their cultures. I told them that this had been a great adventure and that I had seen true nobility in the lives of the Wales. I thanked each one of them for trusting and accepting us. (Ed speaking)

Ann said that Kor had the best food she had ever tasted and she was going to miss working with Lucy and Alice, and all of the wonderful Korians.

Glenna took the floor then, and said how proud she was that she knew the Korians. They had blessed her life and taught her many life lessons. She hoped that visiting was allowed because she hoped to visit as often as possible.

I stood up and stretched, and said that we would be leaving for their homes in one hour. "Now," I said, "we will have dessert.


Tomorrow all of the Korians return to their own homes.