Ann loses her daughter, Becky, who passes away very unexpectedly in May of 2008.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Seven
Becky became a model mother, daughter, and sister. As she worked on her twelve step program she became happier and freer as a person. I was so proud of her. Every morning at 9:00, before she headed off for the AA meetings, she would give me a call and tell me that she loved me.
Then, on the morning of May 8th, 2008, I received my morning call. I ran to the phone and said, "Good morning. Honey!" but this time she did not answer back, instead it was Walter and he told me that his mother was dead, could I please come!
I could not believe what I was hearing, my little girl dead? That was patently impossible. That just could not be, not now when life was just opening up for her.
I told Walter that I would be right over as soon as the bus ran; he was beside himself. He had called 911, and the police and an ambulance came and told Walter that his mother was dead. Walter and the other children at home were beside themselves. Sierra and Warren were still in school and did not know that their mother had died.
Aunt Ruth saved me by coming to the house and picking me up. We got Warren and Sierra from school and told them and they just fell apart, poor children. Then we went to the house and I had Walter bring Willie downstairs; he did not know yet that his mother had passed on as he had been absorbed in a video game. When I told Willie that his mother had passed away, he disolved into screams.
It was a horrible day as David and Alex arrived and all the relatives began to come and give us prayer and comfort. The prayer and comfort made it possible to get through the experience, but it was impossible to get around the fact that Becky was no longer with us and that just did not seem possible. She left a big gaping hole in our lives. Charley and Shannon kept on the phone to us (Jared was overseas) to try to support us and to let us talk things out of our system. Debby was catching an airplane to come; Lois had helped our family out again by buying her a ticket to come join us. Having Debby here really helped me to get through. She spent the two weeks she came with me and we really cemented our relationship tightly together. We decided that we would never again leave time between us without a call or a letter; we vowed to call each other at least once a week.
Becky's funeral was beautiful and so many people from all of the families came out to support us. Now the trick was to get through the rest of life.
David filed for guardianship of the three younger children and was given it without any problem. He and Alex had never contemplated raising children at all, had never wanted children, but now they stood up and became the best parents you would ever want to find. For my part, I watched Willie on the weekends for David while he and Alex worked. Walter watched Warren on the weekends, and Skeet and Lindsay has Sierra visit them on the weekends. The children were the best children you can imagine. Even through their incredible sorrow they remained whole and loving and tried their best at school. We were very proud of them.
Losing a child is probably one of the most painful losses in life. It doesn't seem right somehow that your children should pass before you; somehow I wasn't able to comprehend the loss. It seemed impossible that one day you have a daughter as your best friend and the next she doesn't call anymore. There are no shopping trips together, no more long walks, no more talks until midnight, no more sharing secrets that no one else knew about. No more of anything together again. However there were the children to consider and for them we managed brave faces and went on with our lives. Thank ONE for the children, as attending to them kept us all sane.
We had a series of six incidents at my home over the next three months. My cell phone would fly off of the table to my left and actually turn in mid-air and land behind the chair I was sitting in. I took this to mean that Becky was letting me know that she was all right. It was a comfort to all of us. All of the children would see their mother in their sleep encouraging them to be strong and assuring them that she was near to them.
In December of 2008 I was given a real treat; David and his friend Sherrie took me to New York City to meet Anders and spend the day in the city. We had a ball; it even snowed throughout the day. We went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and to Strawberry Fields in Central park to honor John Lennon. We went to Rockefeller Center and saw the giant Christmas tree, and we saw Times Square. It was all so wonderful, one of the best days of my life. Of course seeing Anders again was the best part of all.
Tomorrow Ann discusses her care as an elderly person and looks back on her life.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Seven
Becky became a model mother, daughter, and sister. As she worked on her twelve step program she became happier and freer as a person. I was so proud of her. Every morning at 9:00, before she headed off for the AA meetings, she would give me a call and tell me that she loved me.
Then, on the morning of May 8th, 2008, I received my morning call. I ran to the phone and said, "Good morning. Honey!" but this time she did not answer back, instead it was Walter and he told me that his mother was dead, could I please come!
I could not believe what I was hearing, my little girl dead? That was patently impossible. That just could not be, not now when life was just opening up for her.
I told Walter that I would be right over as soon as the bus ran; he was beside himself. He had called 911, and the police and an ambulance came and told Walter that his mother was dead. Walter and the other children at home were beside themselves. Sierra and Warren were still in school and did not know that their mother had died.
Aunt Ruth saved me by coming to the house and picking me up. We got Warren and Sierra from school and told them and they just fell apart, poor children. Then we went to the house and I had Walter bring Willie downstairs; he did not know yet that his mother had passed on as he had been absorbed in a video game. When I told Willie that his mother had passed away, he disolved into screams.
It was a horrible day as David and Alex arrived and all the relatives began to come and give us prayer and comfort. The prayer and comfort made it possible to get through the experience, but it was impossible to get around the fact that Becky was no longer with us and that just did not seem possible. She left a big gaping hole in our lives. Charley and Shannon kept on the phone to us (Jared was overseas) to try to support us and to let us talk things out of our system. Debby was catching an airplane to come; Lois had helped our family out again by buying her a ticket to come join us. Having Debby here really helped me to get through. She spent the two weeks she came with me and we really cemented our relationship tightly together. We decided that we would never again leave time between us without a call or a letter; we vowed to call each other at least once a week.
Becky's funeral was beautiful and so many people from all of the families came out to support us. Now the trick was to get through the rest of life.
David filed for guardianship of the three younger children and was given it without any problem. He and Alex had never contemplated raising children at all, had never wanted children, but now they stood up and became the best parents you would ever want to find. For my part, I watched Willie on the weekends for David while he and Alex worked. Walter watched Warren on the weekends, and Skeet and Lindsay has Sierra visit them on the weekends. The children were the best children you can imagine. Even through their incredible sorrow they remained whole and loving and tried their best at school. We were very proud of them.
Losing a child is probably one of the most painful losses in life. It doesn't seem right somehow that your children should pass before you; somehow I wasn't able to comprehend the loss. It seemed impossible that one day you have a daughter as your best friend and the next she doesn't call anymore. There are no shopping trips together, no more long walks, no more talks until midnight, no more sharing secrets that no one else knew about. No more of anything together again. However there were the children to consider and for them we managed brave faces and went on with our lives. Thank ONE for the children, as attending to them kept us all sane.
We had a series of six incidents at my home over the next three months. My cell phone would fly off of the table to my left and actually turn in mid-air and land behind the chair I was sitting in. I took this to mean that Becky was letting me know that she was all right. It was a comfort to all of us. All of the children would see their mother in their sleep encouraging them to be strong and assuring them that she was near to them.
In December of 2008 I was given a real treat; David and his friend Sherrie took me to New York City to meet Anders and spend the day in the city. We had a ball; it even snowed throughout the day. We went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and to Strawberry Fields in Central park to honor John Lennon. We went to Rockefeller Center and saw the giant Christmas tree, and we saw Times Square. It was all so wonderful, one of the best days of my life. Of course seeing Anders again was the best part of all.
Tomorrow Ann discusses her care as an elderly person and looks back on her life.
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