Following Ed's passing, Ann settles in her new home in New Jersey.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Seven
As we departed Jared's home and headed to New Jersey, I fell asleep on David for the rest of the trip. Poor fellow had to drive the last thousand miles alone.
I was so glad to be with Becky and the children in their lovely big house. They had set a room apart for me and David had furnished it for me. It was really lovely and being with the grandchildren was wonderful.
At first Becky and I got along well together, but I was in a very bad way spiritually and spent most days alone, locked in my room. I could not listen to any of our music CDs for over a year. Instead I listened to Vh1 Classic on the TV and learned more about rock music, heavy metal, and punk, and this distracted me from my negative thoughts. Jimi Hendrix, AC/DC, Twisted Sister, the Doors, WHO, Queen, Led Zeppelin, and the Grateful Dead, amongst others, all made me forget the pain for a little while.
I loved New Jersey itself, all around me was water and beaches and the beautiful trees and flowers, it is called the Garden State and it really is. I had the car so I was able to get around easily and began learning the city and country around me. I went to the casinos once a month and that was a real treat, there are so many in Atlantic City, so many venues to try.
I found a little synagogue on Brigantine Island that was beautiful and had the finest people imaginable as congregants. They accepted David and me with open arms and we feel a great deal of gratitude for their friendship; belonging to this congregation helped ease the pain of losing Ed; the pain of loneliness.
I was so glad to be with Becky and the children; Becky and I developed a close relationship and of course there were all the children to love. Then I found it difficult to watch Becky stumble and fall and get hurt from over-use of prescription drugs and I found it difficult not to interfere when Becky was treating the children unfairly. We found each other fighting more and more and I began to be very ill both physically and mentally. David set out to find me my own place which was difficult because my income was very low, $650.00 a month. Coming to New Jersey I had lost $300 in S.S.I. money that I was eligible for in California, because the cost of living was cheaper in New Jersey.
Anders reached out to me by sending me brand new music CDs, and his emotional support; we bcame very close over the years to follow.
I signed up for Jewish Family Services and received a counselor named Jane-Marie. She was a wonderful woman and very concerned for my mental health.
My mental health began to deteriorate, and one day I figured to end it all by taking an overdose of my psychiatric medications. I called Jane-Marie for help and then went to sleep. Jane-Marie came and knocked down my bedroom door and then called 911. I ws transported to this lovely mental hospital in North Hampton quite a long way from home. I was there for two weeks and met some marvelous people. One young woman, named Julie Ann, became a close friend, really like a daughter. She considered me to be her mother-Mama Ann she called me-and I still write, and we talk to each other over the phone.
Tomorrow we follow Ann as she discovers New Jersey and becomes a great-grandmother.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter Thirty Seven
As we departed Jared's home and headed to New Jersey, I fell asleep on David for the rest of the trip. Poor fellow had to drive the last thousand miles alone.
I was so glad to be with Becky and the children in their lovely big house. They had set a room apart for me and David had furnished it for me. It was really lovely and being with the grandchildren was wonderful.
At first Becky and I got along well together, but I was in a very bad way spiritually and spent most days alone, locked in my room. I could not listen to any of our music CDs for over a year. Instead I listened to Vh1 Classic on the TV and learned more about rock music, heavy metal, and punk, and this distracted me from my negative thoughts. Jimi Hendrix, AC/DC, Twisted Sister, the Doors, WHO, Queen, Led Zeppelin, and the Grateful Dead, amongst others, all made me forget the pain for a little while.
I loved New Jersey itself, all around me was water and beaches and the beautiful trees and flowers, it is called the Garden State and it really is. I had the car so I was able to get around easily and began learning the city and country around me. I went to the casinos once a month and that was a real treat, there are so many in Atlantic City, so many venues to try.
I found a little synagogue on Brigantine Island that was beautiful and had the finest people imaginable as congregants. They accepted David and me with open arms and we feel a great deal of gratitude for their friendship; belonging to this congregation helped ease the pain of losing Ed; the pain of loneliness.
I was so glad to be with Becky and the children; Becky and I developed a close relationship and of course there were all the children to love. Then I found it difficult to watch Becky stumble and fall and get hurt from over-use of prescription drugs and I found it difficult not to interfere when Becky was treating the children unfairly. We found each other fighting more and more and I began to be very ill both physically and mentally. David set out to find me my own place which was difficult because my income was very low, $650.00 a month. Coming to New Jersey I had lost $300 in S.S.I. money that I was eligible for in California, because the cost of living was cheaper in New Jersey.
Anders reached out to me by sending me brand new music CDs, and his emotional support; we bcame very close over the years to follow.
I signed up for Jewish Family Services and received a counselor named Jane-Marie. She was a wonderful woman and very concerned for my mental health.
My mental health began to deteriorate, and one day I figured to end it all by taking an overdose of my psychiatric medications. I called Jane-Marie for help and then went to sleep. Jane-Marie came and knocked down my bedroom door and then called 911. I ws transported to this lovely mental hospital in North Hampton quite a long way from home. I was there for two weeks and met some marvelous people. One young woman, named Julie Ann, became a close friend, really like a daughter. She considered me to be her mother-Mama Ann she called me-and I still write, and we talk to each other over the phone.
Tomorrow we follow Ann as she discovers New Jersey and becomes a great-grandmother.
No comments:
Post a Comment