Yesterday we completed THE GOD GAMES: Legend of Kor and today we will press forward and begin to write the remaining chapters of the GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell is the Divine Comedy of Dante Alighiere meets THE SHACK by William Paul Young.
It is an answer to eternal questions of humankind's purpose in the Cosmos and proposes a new science-based theory of the Singularity. (What happened before the Big Bang.)
We follow the course of one of God's energy forms-Ann-through pre-life, Heaven; a lifetime on Planet Earth, Hell; and the after-life, Heaven Again.
To begin the story from the start you can go to my March 10, 2012 blog, "A Moments Glance into the Purpose of Heaven", and continue reading the blogs from that date until I completed what I had written so far, on Monday, July 9th, 2012.
Today, we begin with THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell, Chapter Thirty Seven...
Trust me, when left to our own devices we can tear ourselves apart.
I relived every moment of Ed's and my life together to try to see if I could have made a change so that he wouldn't have died. I kept seeing his pleading eyes the night he died. Oh, if I could only have lifted him. Oh, if I could only have made him stay in the hospital that night. I beat myself up on the idiocy of being on the streets, living in the wilderness when we were in our sixties. What was I thinking of?
How could I have allowed him not to seek better care? I should have been kinder and gentler. I should have been more loving and forgiving.
In the end I relived each day for the wonder and love of it, and I remembered your eyes my Ed, your eyes so beautiful and expressive. I danced with you to "Harvest Moon" and I felt the delicate pressure of your hand in mine, my head against your chest, the warmth of our connection. For there is the reality of energy forms meeting, even if in slightly different dimensions. Souls can touch other souls.
I was in grief, angry at Ed for leaving me and in denial that he could possibly be dead, but I had to put off experiencing grief because of the pressures of having to make a big change in my life.
I drove to Debby's home and rested there. I took the truck back to the car lot that we bought her from and pretty much just dumped it there. I still owed the bill for her that I would pay for a long time, but I couldn't take two vehicles to New Jersey. I decided that the little Saturn was the most suitable for my current needs. Then I sent boxes of things that were important to me, and that wouldn't fit in the car for the trip, along to New Jersey; to Becky's house in Pleasantville. Everything else I owned, but didn't have the money to send, was packed into boxes and landed on Debby's patio.
David arrived from New Jersey and he spent a couple of days talking to Debby and the children, and going around to greet old friends. Then we were ready to start up across the entire country. Pain at the loss of Ed wiped me out physically as we started across country.
We stopped at Charlie's home in Iowa and it was so good to see Charlie again and I got to meet Lindsey and Mark for the first time. I treasured those few hours that I got to spend with them.
When we got to Michigan, we got to spend time with Jared and his new wife, Shannon, and their little boy named Drake. He was a beautiful little boy and Jared had chosen the most perfect wife who was a great cook and fed us wonderful meals.
Tomorrow we rest and pull our life together. We will post a thought for the day, and then on Monday, we will continue to write the book for your enjoyment.
Have a wonderful week-end and I will see you tomorrow morning...I hope!
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell is the Divine Comedy of Dante Alighiere meets THE SHACK by William Paul Young.
It is an answer to eternal questions of humankind's purpose in the Cosmos and proposes a new science-based theory of the Singularity. (What happened before the Big Bang.)
We follow the course of one of God's energy forms-Ann-through pre-life, Heaven; a lifetime on Planet Earth, Hell; and the after-life, Heaven Again.
To begin the story from the start you can go to my March 10, 2012 blog, "A Moments Glance into the Purpose of Heaven", and continue reading the blogs from that date until I completed what I had written so far, on Monday, July 9th, 2012.
Today, we begin with THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell, Chapter Thirty Seven...
Trust me, when left to our own devices we can tear ourselves apart.
I relived every moment of Ed's and my life together to try to see if I could have made a change so that he wouldn't have died. I kept seeing his pleading eyes the night he died. Oh, if I could only have lifted him. Oh, if I could only have made him stay in the hospital that night. I beat myself up on the idiocy of being on the streets, living in the wilderness when we were in our sixties. What was I thinking of?
How could I have allowed him not to seek better care? I should have been kinder and gentler. I should have been more loving and forgiving.
In the end I relived each day for the wonder and love of it, and I remembered your eyes my Ed, your eyes so beautiful and expressive. I danced with you to "Harvest Moon" and I felt the delicate pressure of your hand in mine, my head against your chest, the warmth of our connection. For there is the reality of energy forms meeting, even if in slightly different dimensions. Souls can touch other souls.
I was in grief, angry at Ed for leaving me and in denial that he could possibly be dead, but I had to put off experiencing grief because of the pressures of having to make a big change in my life.
I drove to Debby's home and rested there. I took the truck back to the car lot that we bought her from and pretty much just dumped it there. I still owed the bill for her that I would pay for a long time, but I couldn't take two vehicles to New Jersey. I decided that the little Saturn was the most suitable for my current needs. Then I sent boxes of things that were important to me, and that wouldn't fit in the car for the trip, along to New Jersey; to Becky's house in Pleasantville. Everything else I owned, but didn't have the money to send, was packed into boxes and landed on Debby's patio.
David arrived from New Jersey and he spent a couple of days talking to Debby and the children, and going around to greet old friends. Then we were ready to start up across the entire country. Pain at the loss of Ed wiped me out physically as we started across country.
We stopped at Charlie's home in Iowa and it was so good to see Charlie again and I got to meet Lindsey and Mark for the first time. I treasured those few hours that I got to spend with them.
When we got to Michigan, we got to spend time with Jared and his new wife, Shannon, and their little boy named Drake. He was a beautiful little boy and Jared had chosen the most perfect wife who was a great cook and fed us wonderful meals.
Tomorrow we rest and pull our life together. We will post a thought for the day, and then on Monday, we will continue to write the book for your enjoyment.
Have a wonderful week-end and I will see you tomorrow morning...I hope!
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