Saturday, May 12, 2012

ANN, AN ACTIVE MORMON, IS ANGRY AT GOD

Ann moves to Seattle after Charles is baptized into the Mormon (LDS) Church. They have a little boy, are sealed in the Manti Temple, then Ann becomes angry with God.

THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 20...HELL

I filed for divorce and Charles was furious but begged me to reconsider. He had been transfered to Seattle, Washington-and had not asked us to come along and join him. One evening I got a call from a Mormon missionary in Seattle. He asked me if I would give my permission for Charles to be baptized into the Church. The Church did not require my permission at all, but the missionary hoped to involve me back into Charles' life. I was thrilled and overjoyed, and immediately stopped divorce proceedings. Charles was baptized, and then he called me and asked me to try marriage with him again and come and bring the girls to Seattle where he was looking for an apartment for us. Two weeks later, the Navy came and packed us up and we were on the road to Seattle.

I loved Seattle and so did the girls. One evening, Charles and I got down on our knees and prayed that we would have another child and that it would be a little boy. We prayed very hard and a month later I knew that I was pregnant again. It was years before Charles ever hit the children again, and he never hit me from that time on.

In 1969 we had a little boy and I named him Charles Albert II after his father; we called him Charlie. He was born just before Father's Day that year, and that made him a very special birth to us. I adored him and could hardly stand to do anything but take care of him, but Charlie was a very sick little boy and kept throwing up all the time. When he vomited, it went all the way across the room. We moved back to San Diego just two weeks after he was born, and there his pediatrician diagnosed him with pyloric stenosis. Charlie was operated on, and was a healthy little boy from that time forward.

When Charlie had just been born, and we were still in Seattle, I had a dream one night and I was told that I would have another son and his name was to be David Joseph. I was told that he was going to be a very special man and do a great work for ONE. I was overwhelmed with awe.

And a final note to this part of my life was that Charles and I received Temple Recommends and were sealed (married for eternity) together for time and all eternity, and had our children sealed to us, on our trip to San Diego, in the Temple at Manti, Utah.

CHAPTER 21...

When we came back to San Diego from Seattle, my little city had changed. Suddenly we were not a sleepy little Navy town, but bio-technical firms had set up around the county and their employees needed a place to live. Rents had doubled and there were slim pickings on what was avaiable. We considered ourselves fortunate to find an apartment at all. We ended up renting in La Mesa by the Department of Motor Vehicle's building. The apartment was large and had three bedrooms which were perfect for our growing family.

Charles father, Albert, passed away that year, and that was a real trauma for both Charles and I. Albert had loved his grandchildren and always carried a barette of Debby's and one of Becky's pacifiers in his pocket; he had not met Charlie yet, but had asked for one of his belongings to also carry in his pocket. It seemed that dad had waited for grandchildren all of his life and he was passionate in his love for them. When we went back for the funeral, Charles and I dug a little hole by dad's grave and buried a barette, a pacifier, and Charlie's diaper pin there for him. I really loved dad, he was a wonderful father-in-law, and he was father also of Randy and Valerie who were Charles' brother and sister; fine young people.

We settled into the apartment, but we were always afraid that we would do something to make our landlord angry, or that the rent would be raised another time. I hated living in that constant fear which was realistic because the rental market was so on the landlord's side that he didn't care if he lost one tenant, there would always be another to replace you. We were constantly on the children to be quet and not disturb other tenants, but we always felt that we were living on the edge, as children can only be so quiet, they must express themselves. Charles and I prayed very hard that somehow we would find a place to buy so that we could be our own landlords. The trouble was that we had no money for a down payment, and a budget that would allow only a very small monthly mortgage payment. We were kind of between a rock and a hard place.

I had been going through a period where I did not talk to ONE every day and had been neglecting Bible study. Actually, I was mad at ONE for having to live a hard life. The stress and worry that I was under made my emotions very volatile, and I decided to hate ONE for a while. Then one day I realized that if we could not find a house to buy, then I could be in very bad trouble mentally and emotionally; I was starting to crack up inside. Maybe I was not a worthy mother I thought.

Anyway, one day I just fell to my knees and asked ONE to forgive me for ignoring him and for being angry at him, and I told him that if he could forgive me, that I would have as many children as he wanted me to have, and that I would prove to him that I could be the best of mothers. I begged him to look with compassion on us, and give us a house to raise all of our children in.

Three days later our Real Estate agent called us and told us that a house had become available in the nearby city of El Cajon; it was almost out in the country and kind of small, but it was a nice little house. We immediately went out and looked at the house and decided that it was the house for us. There were still orange groves in the city, and two blocks away there were several horse farms. I went crazy with joy and we moved in a month later; Charlie had just turned a year old.


Tomorrow I am not going to be writing a blog because I will be with my son for Mother's Day. I hope your Mother's Day is awesome and I will be back on Monday with Ann losing her fourth child and the surrounding story.

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