Today we follow Ann and Charley as they navigate school and CYA with scars on their bodies, and dreams in their hearts.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 17...(HELL)...
We had a piano and both Charley and I took lessons. Charley was gifted on the piano but refused to practice. I loved the piano, but had small hands that couldn't reach an octave so everything I learned was a struggle. But struggle I did and I learned to play the piano. I also learned the violin and was in my school orchestras.
So what was wrong with this picture? Mom was always trying to 'keep ahead of the Joneses.' It was her driving passion and she could not enjoy what she had, because she was always looking for what she did not have. Charley and I hated money, or rather what the drive to get it did to a person. Money was not our friend and Charley and I never had any in our lives. We spent our lives looking for love, not money. Money meant nothing to me; I wanted to have children that were my own flesh and blood; little people that would love me for myself. I wanted a family of my own. Charley just wanted the drugs and glue that helped him forget the pain he had suffered. He just wanted out of our family even if it meant the streets. The streets after all did not hurt him or take love away.
Charley spent a good deal of time in California Youth Authority (CYA) during his teen years. He loved it there. He didn't mind hard work, and he knew how to work well. Also there was regular food. A lot of times at home mother would forget to shop for groceries and Charley and I made it through many a week eating rice and pancakes without syrup; we liked them. But there was always good food and television in the CYA. Charley developed a deep love of reading there and also a taste for all kinds of music. He was happier there than he had ever been. I missed him when he was gone. Also his being gone meant that I had the responsibility for the house alone, and since I often made errors in cleaning I got a lot more beatings. I hated to go to gym class because you'd have to shower in front of the other girls. They really used to make fun of the beating marks and bruises I'd have on my back and sides. They'd ask me what happened and my tongue would get tied; I didn't have any close friends.
I threw myself into books and learning. I was always on the honor roll and had a 3.6 grade point average. Not the best, but the best I had in me. Learning was always a passion for me; I just loved to learn new things. I thought that I would like to be a veterinarian and so I took Latin and math and science courses. For not having many friends, and none of them close, I got into leadership positions in my classes. I was the President of the Latin Club and the Bible Club, and I ran for secretary of my junior class.
Certain things happened to me three times as a child. I was molested by three different men and I feared to tell my parents about it, but I'll share it with you, because I need to talk about it, and I trust your friendship.
Tomorrow, Ann is molested at 9 years of age...
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 17...(HELL)...
We had a piano and both Charley and I took lessons. Charley was gifted on the piano but refused to practice. I loved the piano, but had small hands that couldn't reach an octave so everything I learned was a struggle. But struggle I did and I learned to play the piano. I also learned the violin and was in my school orchestras.
So what was wrong with this picture? Mom was always trying to 'keep ahead of the Joneses.' It was her driving passion and she could not enjoy what she had, because she was always looking for what she did not have. Charley and I hated money, or rather what the drive to get it did to a person. Money was not our friend and Charley and I never had any in our lives. We spent our lives looking for love, not money. Money meant nothing to me; I wanted to have children that were my own flesh and blood; little people that would love me for myself. I wanted a family of my own. Charley just wanted the drugs and glue that helped him forget the pain he had suffered. He just wanted out of our family even if it meant the streets. The streets after all did not hurt him or take love away.
Charley spent a good deal of time in California Youth Authority (CYA) during his teen years. He loved it there. He didn't mind hard work, and he knew how to work well. Also there was regular food. A lot of times at home mother would forget to shop for groceries and Charley and I made it through many a week eating rice and pancakes without syrup; we liked them. But there was always good food and television in the CYA. Charley developed a deep love of reading there and also a taste for all kinds of music. He was happier there than he had ever been. I missed him when he was gone. Also his being gone meant that I had the responsibility for the house alone, and since I often made errors in cleaning I got a lot more beatings. I hated to go to gym class because you'd have to shower in front of the other girls. They really used to make fun of the beating marks and bruises I'd have on my back and sides. They'd ask me what happened and my tongue would get tied; I didn't have any close friends.
I threw myself into books and learning. I was always on the honor roll and had a 3.6 grade point average. Not the best, but the best I had in me. Learning was always a passion for me; I just loved to learn new things. I thought that I would like to be a veterinarian and so I took Latin and math and science courses. For not having many friends, and none of them close, I got into leadership positions in my classes. I was the President of the Latin Club and the Bible Club, and I ran for secretary of my junior class.
Certain things happened to me three times as a child. I was molested by three different men and I feared to tell my parents about it, but I'll share it with you, because I need to talk about it, and I trust your friendship.
Tomorrow, Ann is molested at 9 years of age...
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