Ann struggles with losing her home and then meets her next door neighbor, Bruce.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 25...HELL
I was having a great deal of trouble making ends meet. I was slipping pieces of cardboard into the boy's shoes in order for them to last longer, and had no money to buy them new clothes or shoes. I could barely feed the children and still pay the first mortgage, the utilities, and gasoline and insurance for the car. I could have married Ben, but I would have rather died than enter into such a lopsided relationship, where I had no power over the future of my children. I decided that I would have to send the boys back to their father for a year in order to find a place to live and get back upon my feet. The summer of 1981 I took the boys back to Iowa on a bus so they could live with their father for a year; doing so ripped my heart out. I felt so betrayed by Charles not living up to his agreements, yet I was forced to be separated from the boys because I had no recourse.
I returned to San Diego knowing I only had another month to live in our dear Bradley Avenue house. Debby was the only one left at home because Becky was still living at Vista Hill, so all I had to worry about was the two of us; but where to go, and how to survive?
Two days later there was a knock at the door and I opened it to find my next door neighbor, Bruce. He was raising his four children, ages six to thirteen, and he needed a place to rent as his current house was being sold by the owner in another month. He wondered if I would rent my house to him. I invited him inside and had him eat a sandwich and tell me his story. What a story. Bruce was a disabled master welder and the only parent in his children's lives as his wife had left him for another man and now lived in Michigan. He had no idea what he was going to do and I had to tell him the bind that I was in also. We were both very discouraged and tried to cheer the other person up. He left for home very depressed. My mind went into high gear, and my heart was tenderized by his sad plight; identical to my own.
The next day I thought that I had a practical solution for all of us. I asked Bruce to come over to my house with his mother, Margaret, who was a lovely woman. I laid out my plan to the two of them. True, Bruce and I were strangers, but I had already felt that Bruce had a good heart. I suggested that we put our incomes together and try to find one house that would fit all of our children-all nine of them. I showed Bruce and his mother that together we could afford rent, utilities, food, and clothes for the children, if we were careful with our money and went to Good Will. Bruce and his mother were shocked at first. What would our relationship be? I said that I thought that we could love each other since we had such similar problems and both of us put our children first in life. Frankly, I didn't see a choice for either of us, except to try to win together, for the sake of all the children. There was just one more loose item to remedy; Ben. I called Ben and asked if I could come and see him; we had not yet broken off our relationship. I went up to Rancho Bernardo and spent about one half-hour with him. It was the usual negative meeting, and I just felt that I was tired of on-off relationships and relationships full of stress; with Bruce there was peace and caring for my situation. I said good-bye to Ben that day and went back home very relieved to have found a person who was calm and child-oriented. From that moment Bruce and I committed to each other to raise the children together for the good, or the not-so-good, of all of our futures.
Bruce asked me to marry him, but he had been married three times already, and I did not want to be a fourth wife, so I said, "no." He bought me an engagement ring anyway, and I accepted him and it. We were to be together for the next 21 years; until the day he passed away.
We began a desperate search for a house to rent anywhere in east San Diego County. We prayed hard together and finally we found a nice house in Santee with an owner who was looking for long-term tenants and was not afraid of renting to nine children. The man, Lonnie, was a saint and a lovely landlord. The Lord had blessed us.
It was tough, I will not kid you. We started out with Bruce's children and Debby and Becky. Bruce had an understanding and acceptance of Becky, and he never turned his back on her. Debby was almost eighteen and about to fly out on her own-we thought. Belinda was 13 and had taken to running around with boys of late. Kelly was 12, and a very sweet girl. Janice was seven and very timid, and Brian was six and looking for a mother. It turned out that Brian and Jared were born two days apart in the same hospital, Grossmont, and that he and Jared had been under the anti-bilirubin lights together as they had both been born with jaundice. It also turned out that Bruce's wife had been my roommate in the hospital for two days, until I asked for a new roommate since Bruce's wife was a chain-smoker. So many "coincidences" seemed to surround us, and I didn't believe that there were really any "coincidences" in life. I began to see that, strange as it may appear, ONE had a plan for both of our families, and he does love his children so much.
Tomorrow we get to know Bruce a little better and hear some shocking stories of his past "lives." Problems surface with Brian.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 25...HELL
I was having a great deal of trouble making ends meet. I was slipping pieces of cardboard into the boy's shoes in order for them to last longer, and had no money to buy them new clothes or shoes. I could barely feed the children and still pay the first mortgage, the utilities, and gasoline and insurance for the car. I could have married Ben, but I would have rather died than enter into such a lopsided relationship, where I had no power over the future of my children. I decided that I would have to send the boys back to their father for a year in order to find a place to live and get back upon my feet. The summer of 1981 I took the boys back to Iowa on a bus so they could live with their father for a year; doing so ripped my heart out. I felt so betrayed by Charles not living up to his agreements, yet I was forced to be separated from the boys because I had no recourse.
I returned to San Diego knowing I only had another month to live in our dear Bradley Avenue house. Debby was the only one left at home because Becky was still living at Vista Hill, so all I had to worry about was the two of us; but where to go, and how to survive?
Two days later there was a knock at the door and I opened it to find my next door neighbor, Bruce. He was raising his four children, ages six to thirteen, and he needed a place to rent as his current house was being sold by the owner in another month. He wondered if I would rent my house to him. I invited him inside and had him eat a sandwich and tell me his story. What a story. Bruce was a disabled master welder and the only parent in his children's lives as his wife had left him for another man and now lived in Michigan. He had no idea what he was going to do and I had to tell him the bind that I was in also. We were both very discouraged and tried to cheer the other person up. He left for home very depressed. My mind went into high gear, and my heart was tenderized by his sad plight; identical to my own.
The next day I thought that I had a practical solution for all of us. I asked Bruce to come over to my house with his mother, Margaret, who was a lovely woman. I laid out my plan to the two of them. True, Bruce and I were strangers, but I had already felt that Bruce had a good heart. I suggested that we put our incomes together and try to find one house that would fit all of our children-all nine of them. I showed Bruce and his mother that together we could afford rent, utilities, food, and clothes for the children, if we were careful with our money and went to Good Will. Bruce and his mother were shocked at first. What would our relationship be? I said that I thought that we could love each other since we had such similar problems and both of us put our children first in life. Frankly, I didn't see a choice for either of us, except to try to win together, for the sake of all the children. There was just one more loose item to remedy; Ben. I called Ben and asked if I could come and see him; we had not yet broken off our relationship. I went up to Rancho Bernardo and spent about one half-hour with him. It was the usual negative meeting, and I just felt that I was tired of on-off relationships and relationships full of stress; with Bruce there was peace and caring for my situation. I said good-bye to Ben that day and went back home very relieved to have found a person who was calm and child-oriented. From that moment Bruce and I committed to each other to raise the children together for the good, or the not-so-good, of all of our futures.
Bruce asked me to marry him, but he had been married three times already, and I did not want to be a fourth wife, so I said, "no." He bought me an engagement ring anyway, and I accepted him and it. We were to be together for the next 21 years; until the day he passed away.
We began a desperate search for a house to rent anywhere in east San Diego County. We prayed hard together and finally we found a nice house in Santee with an owner who was looking for long-term tenants and was not afraid of renting to nine children. The man, Lonnie, was a saint and a lovely landlord. The Lord had blessed us.
It was tough, I will not kid you. We started out with Bruce's children and Debby and Becky. Bruce had an understanding and acceptance of Becky, and he never turned his back on her. Debby was almost eighteen and about to fly out on her own-we thought. Belinda was 13 and had taken to running around with boys of late. Kelly was 12, and a very sweet girl. Janice was seven and very timid, and Brian was six and looking for a mother. It turned out that Brian and Jared were born two days apart in the same hospital, Grossmont, and that he and Jared had been under the anti-bilirubin lights together as they had both been born with jaundice. It also turned out that Bruce's wife had been my roommate in the hospital for two days, until I asked for a new roommate since Bruce's wife was a chain-smoker. So many "coincidences" seemed to surround us, and I didn't believe that there were really any "coincidences" in life. I began to see that, strange as it may appear, ONE had a plan for both of our families, and he does love his children so much.
Tomorrow we get to know Bruce a little better and hear some shocking stories of his past "lives." Problems surface with Brian.
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