Today we see Ann in harms way, and then her fight against a giant force. This is definitely R-rated and is the last day of such personal struggles for Ann. Thank you for bearing with us.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 18...HELL
He (Harold "Tiny" M.) kept trying to touch my breasts and kiss me at the same time, and I wriggled and squirmed and tried to scream, but there was too much material and body and arms and hands all over. I couldn't breathe; I tried to punch him, but he just laughed. I guess he thought I was playing a game with him and he just kept pulling and tearing at me and my clothes. I caught a breath and yelled at him to stop and leave me alone. He just laughed again and said that girls were always trying to tease a guy and pretend they didn't like his action. Then he had me against the left rear door of his car and he just reached down and ripped my underwear off. I started to scream and beat him with the one hand that had gotten loose. He started getting angry and began to press himself into me. I dug in my heels and slid my body up the window until my neck reached the roof of the car and then my head was free and I started to scream at the top of my lungs.
In a split second he jerked me flat down onto the car seat and put his hand over my mouth. Then he tried to enter me with all the strength that he had. I was a virgin and too small for his body and he could not make progress. After an intense struggle, he suddenly gave up, cursed, and said, "You really are a virgin, aren't you?" I just glared at him. Then he sat up and told me that now that I had been a bad girl and not helped him, I would have to watch him finish off, which he proceeded to do by hand.
I can't even begin to tell you what I felt then, what I feel even today as I write this: dirty; very dirty, and worthless and ugly. And if you were with me this moment I could not look you in the eyes. Maybe I have to stop writing for a moment.
He took me home and insisted that I was going to go on a date with him again. I didn't answer him, I just dragged myself into the house and hid in my bedroom. No one was home, Charley and dad were at the restaurant working, and mom was at the hospital with a patient. I prayed and thanked ONE for getting me out of his car without being hurt.
When Charley got home I went to his room and told him what had happened. Charley said that when we weren't working at the restaurant, and were home alone, that he would call in his friends and they would protect me. Charley was always there for me.
Anyway, time passed, as it seems to do no matter what happens, and finally Harold stopped calling and driving by the house, and eventually he just went away.
Well, that leaves a bad taste in my brain and heart so let's change the subject for a moment to something happier.
I met Charles Albert at the Swirley Kreme about two weeks later. He had come up the boulevard looking for a car to buy and he stopped into the restaurant for a bite to eat. It was love at first hamburger. Charles was so handsome and he was dressed in the forbidden Navy uniform. We couldn't keep our eyes off of each other, but the mother quotient factored in. You see, San Diego was a sleepy little Navy town and all of us girls were given strict instructions not to look at, and definitely not to talk to, anyone in uniform. However, such a stricture just made us look at them more; and with more longing to see what they were all about. Charles Albert had everything; looks, brains, a steady job, and, he was buying a car.
Tomorrow, a story of my mother's deprivations as a child, and an attempted abortion.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 18...HELL
He (Harold "Tiny" M.) kept trying to touch my breasts and kiss me at the same time, and I wriggled and squirmed and tried to scream, but there was too much material and body and arms and hands all over. I couldn't breathe; I tried to punch him, but he just laughed. I guess he thought I was playing a game with him and he just kept pulling and tearing at me and my clothes. I caught a breath and yelled at him to stop and leave me alone. He just laughed again and said that girls were always trying to tease a guy and pretend they didn't like his action. Then he had me against the left rear door of his car and he just reached down and ripped my underwear off. I started to scream and beat him with the one hand that had gotten loose. He started getting angry and began to press himself into me. I dug in my heels and slid my body up the window until my neck reached the roof of the car and then my head was free and I started to scream at the top of my lungs.
In a split second he jerked me flat down onto the car seat and put his hand over my mouth. Then he tried to enter me with all the strength that he had. I was a virgin and too small for his body and he could not make progress. After an intense struggle, he suddenly gave up, cursed, and said, "You really are a virgin, aren't you?" I just glared at him. Then he sat up and told me that now that I had been a bad girl and not helped him, I would have to watch him finish off, which he proceeded to do by hand.
I can't even begin to tell you what I felt then, what I feel even today as I write this: dirty; very dirty, and worthless and ugly. And if you were with me this moment I could not look you in the eyes. Maybe I have to stop writing for a moment.
He took me home and insisted that I was going to go on a date with him again. I didn't answer him, I just dragged myself into the house and hid in my bedroom. No one was home, Charley and dad were at the restaurant working, and mom was at the hospital with a patient. I prayed and thanked ONE for getting me out of his car without being hurt.
When Charley got home I went to his room and told him what had happened. Charley said that when we weren't working at the restaurant, and were home alone, that he would call in his friends and they would protect me. Charley was always there for me.
Anyway, time passed, as it seems to do no matter what happens, and finally Harold stopped calling and driving by the house, and eventually he just went away.
Well, that leaves a bad taste in my brain and heart so let's change the subject for a moment to something happier.
I met Charles Albert at the Swirley Kreme about two weeks later. He had come up the boulevard looking for a car to buy and he stopped into the restaurant for a bite to eat. It was love at first hamburger. Charles was so handsome and he was dressed in the forbidden Navy uniform. We couldn't keep our eyes off of each other, but the mother quotient factored in. You see, San Diego was a sleepy little Navy town and all of us girls were given strict instructions not to look at, and definitely not to talk to, anyone in uniform. However, such a stricture just made us look at them more; and with more longing to see what they were all about. Charles Albert had everything; looks, brains, a steady job, and, he was buying a car.
Tomorrow, a story of my mother's deprivations as a child, and an attempted abortion.
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