Today Ann discovers Bruce's past as a Hell's Angel and having killed his father-in-law. Brian has begun molesting little girls...
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 25...HELL
Bruce was a welder, mechanic, gunsmith, and gold miner. His father, George, had a gold mining claim in the Julian Moutains. Bruce graduated from Julian High School, he had been a drummer in the Junior and Senior High School Bands; he had also been the driving spirit on the basketball team that took C.I.F. Championships the four years that he played.
Bruce was born in downtown San Diego, like me, but in a different hospital, in 1936; he was eight years older than I. He had been raised on one of his father's gold mining claims and learned to handle a really tough lifestyle.
Bruce was a Hell's Angel who knew Sonny Barger, but he was also one of the first members to leave the Hell's Angels and go through one of their ceremonies to burn his colors. He became a California State Forest Ranger and worked out of the Julian ofice and was then transferred to the El Centro area where he married his first wife and had two boys. They divorced and he moved to San Diego and began work as a welder, eventually becoming a master welder. During this period, he shot and killed hs ex-father-in-law in self-defense and was vindicated by the Courts, but never forgave himself.
There was a second marriage to a woman named Claudia which lasted only a few months and was annulled when he found her making love with two other women. Then he met the children's mother and they had a long marriage that ended when she walked out on him and the children for another man. Can you understand why I chose not to be involved as a fourth wife? However, Bruce and I were together for so long that we would have been common-law husband and wife, if California had had such a statute. I will give mom and dad credit that they accepted Bruce right from the beginning and also his children became their grandchildren without a second thought. My parents were very open to loving the grandchildren and great-grandchildren when they came. They seemed to have no prejudices when it came to family. They never once urged me to marry Bruce, nor did they counsel me not to marry Bruce, they just accepted and loved him as he was, and the situation as it was.
CHAPTER 26...
As parents we wish the profoundest good things for our children. We dream of their possible futures and that they will, in their own time, touch the world with love. To that end, we give of our very souls to push them towards the light just a fraction more, to say once again, "I love you," to mean, I will give you all that I can gain so that one day you too will send children out to heal a weary world.
When you feel differently towards a child, you see it as a failure of your own heart; a feeling of abject unworthiness to being called a parent; at least in the truest sense. So I struggled with my feelings towards Brian.
You had to really observe Brian constantly. There was something negative going on in his little person. He was a beautiful boy; tall, with blonde hair and beautiful brown eyes. But when you looked into those eyes there was an emptiness; a sadness.
Things happened around Brian and to him. He was once subjected to witnessing baby goats beng ritually slaughtered by the boys next door; the same boys later also nearly killed him.
I found that I could not love Brian as totally and freely as I did the other three. There was some kind of uneasiness I felt around him. I couldn't get Bruce to listen to me that Brian needed special help, but I did put enough pressure on Bruce to get Brian to see a child psychiatrist. This psychiatrist told me not to struggle with trying to give Brian tender motherly love, but to make sure that he lived in a structured environment, and to care for him as a person. He said that Bruce and Brian's grandmother could give the boy the hugs and kisses. When the principals of Brian's schools would tell Bruce that Brian had been feeling-up little girls in school, Bruce would just shrug his shoulders and say that the principal was prejudiced against Brian.
Tomorrow we learn more about Brian's life and struggles, and how the neighborhood boys tried to kill him with drugs and alcohol.
THE GOD GAMES: Heaven & Hell...Chapter 25...HELL
Bruce was a welder, mechanic, gunsmith, and gold miner. His father, George, had a gold mining claim in the Julian Moutains. Bruce graduated from Julian High School, he had been a drummer in the Junior and Senior High School Bands; he had also been the driving spirit on the basketball team that took C.I.F. Championships the four years that he played.
Bruce was born in downtown San Diego, like me, but in a different hospital, in 1936; he was eight years older than I. He had been raised on one of his father's gold mining claims and learned to handle a really tough lifestyle.
Bruce was a Hell's Angel who knew Sonny Barger, but he was also one of the first members to leave the Hell's Angels and go through one of their ceremonies to burn his colors. He became a California State Forest Ranger and worked out of the Julian ofice and was then transferred to the El Centro area where he married his first wife and had two boys. They divorced and he moved to San Diego and began work as a welder, eventually becoming a master welder. During this period, he shot and killed hs ex-father-in-law in self-defense and was vindicated by the Courts, but never forgave himself.
There was a second marriage to a woman named Claudia which lasted only a few months and was annulled when he found her making love with two other women. Then he met the children's mother and they had a long marriage that ended when she walked out on him and the children for another man. Can you understand why I chose not to be involved as a fourth wife? However, Bruce and I were together for so long that we would have been common-law husband and wife, if California had had such a statute. I will give mom and dad credit that they accepted Bruce right from the beginning and also his children became their grandchildren without a second thought. My parents were very open to loving the grandchildren and great-grandchildren when they came. They seemed to have no prejudices when it came to family. They never once urged me to marry Bruce, nor did they counsel me not to marry Bruce, they just accepted and loved him as he was, and the situation as it was.
CHAPTER 26...
As parents we wish the profoundest good things for our children. We dream of their possible futures and that they will, in their own time, touch the world with love. To that end, we give of our very souls to push them towards the light just a fraction more, to say once again, "I love you," to mean, I will give you all that I can gain so that one day you too will send children out to heal a weary world.
When you feel differently towards a child, you see it as a failure of your own heart; a feeling of abject unworthiness to being called a parent; at least in the truest sense. So I struggled with my feelings towards Brian.
You had to really observe Brian constantly. There was something negative going on in his little person. He was a beautiful boy; tall, with blonde hair and beautiful brown eyes. But when you looked into those eyes there was an emptiness; a sadness.
Things happened around Brian and to him. He was once subjected to witnessing baby goats beng ritually slaughtered by the boys next door; the same boys later also nearly killed him.
I found that I could not love Brian as totally and freely as I did the other three. There was some kind of uneasiness I felt around him. I couldn't get Bruce to listen to me that Brian needed special help, but I did put enough pressure on Bruce to get Brian to see a child psychiatrist. This psychiatrist told me not to struggle with trying to give Brian tender motherly love, but to make sure that he lived in a structured environment, and to care for him as a person. He said that Bruce and Brian's grandmother could give the boy the hugs and kisses. When the principals of Brian's schools would tell Bruce that Brian had been feeling-up little girls in school, Bruce would just shrug his shoulders and say that the principal was prejudiced against Brian.
Tomorrow we learn more about Brian's life and struggles, and how the neighborhood boys tried to kill him with drugs and alcohol.
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